Tag Archives: women

Shift From Fear to Gratitude

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorce the divorce, divorce help

Normally, I am pretty good dealing with anxiety. The past several years brought so many crises in my life, that I was left with very little choice than to put on my big girl pants and deal with it. But, this past week brought a situation that threw me off and I needed to back to the basics again. A shift from fear to gratitude was needed.

My son had a crisis at college. A miracle occurred and it was all worked out. The Dean of the Registrar at his University is a Saint and I will be forever grateful for her kindness and compassion. But, even when the situation was worked out, I still felt a lot of anxiety a week later. If you are a parent, you know, that it is so difficult to see your children going through a rough time.

I was meditating every morning, but, I still had that uncomfortable feeling in my solar plexius (about two inches above the navel). When I thought about this and allowed myself some quiet time to acutally feel the anxiety in my body, I realized my ego was in control. The ego was still focusing on the what-ifs. What if it didn’t work out? What would my son do? Can this happen again?

I allowed the ego mind to rule instead of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is in a state of grace and does what we tell it. That was the shift I needed. Instead of allowing fear based thoughts every time I felt the anxiety, I would focus on gratitude and the miracle that God provided.

It was a subtle shift. Just taking charge of my thoughts and creating a new habit. Gratitude puts us in touch with our higher selves and that aligns us with God, faith, and trust. Deepak Chopra said, “Gratitude is like a flashlight in a dark forest.”

Within in a day of a gratitude shift, the anxiety was gone and I just felt so blessed for the miracle that occurred.

Next time you are filled with stress or anxiety turn your thoughts to gratitude. We can change our habits by changing our thoughts.

3 Steps to Your Best Summer Ever

By: Gloria Marie

divorced, divorced women, divorce the divorce,

It is hard to believe it is the middle of May already. Summer is right around the corner. Do you have any plans yet for the summer? I remember while growing up how exciting it was to have the whole summer off from school. We would spend days in our above ground pool and take breaks from swimming to play board games. I loved reading, so, summer was also a time to leisurely read. Nancy Drew books were my favorite. Try these 3 steps to your best summer ever.

This summer try to make it your best summer ever. What brings you joy? What makes your heart sing? A friend of mine is going through a tough time and I encouraged her to do something that she loves doing. She responded, “I do not know what brings me joy. I work a lot and never do anything for myself.”

It is easy to get complacent and just exist day to day. God wants us to have joyful, happy lives. Take some time to plan for your summer. I decided this summer I want to try watercolor painting. It is a gift to myself. I may not have any talent for it, but, I can assure you I will have fun experimenting with the paints and brushes.

3 Steps to Your Best Summer Ever
Allow yourself 5 – 10 minutes of quiet time to write out your answers. Sit in a chair, take a few deep breaths and think back to your childhood or a summer when you had a great time. What were you doing? Where were you? Who were you with? What made you smile? Your answers do not have to be complicated, simple answers are the best.
Step 1. Get a sheet of paper and a pen. At the top of the page write, “The Top 10 things that would MAKE THIS YOUR BEST SUMMER EVER”. Write the numbers 1- 10. Imagine the sun is shining. You’re relaxed, happy, can’t help but smile and are at peace with yourself and the world. What are you doing? What’s going on in your life? Now, start writing the 10 things.
If your life is busy with not many options right now, find small things you can do for yourself. (a 20 minute walk, dinner with friends, a weekend away) And remember- your best summer ever may be about what you don’t do as well. (Taking a nap, resting)
Step 2. Below your 10 things, write 3 actions that will move you closer to your BEST SUMMER EVER. These can be small action steps. The important point is that you take these three steps this week.
Step 3. Next week create 3 more action steps based on your 10 things.
What would make this your best summer ever?

My Morning Ritual

By: Gloria Marie

morning ritual, single happy strong, divorced. divorce

I have my morning ritual, it is a time that I cherish. I believe this time helps me stay centered and calm throughout the day. Most mornings, I get up early, while it is still dark and the world is quiet. I make myself a cup of coffee and retreat to my “meditation chair”. It is an oversized, comfortable chair with a large basket of inspirational books next to it. This hour that I spend every morning, is a gift to myself. Most days there are no startling insights: just time to pray, go deep into my soul, and be in God’s presence. This week try to give yourself a gift of silence each morning.
My morning ritual consists of meditation, journaling, inspirational reading and sitting in silence. I begin reading while enjoying my coffee. By my chair, I have several books to choose from. Next I meditate for about 20 minutes. This is followed by journaling and praying. Some days, I do not have the luxury of an hour and that is alright. This morning ritual has helped me transform my life from fear to peace and love.
Create Your Own Morning Ritual
1. Pick out a spot in your home that you can remain undisturbed. It is preferable to have a chair to sit on. If you do not have an hour to spend, try half an hour.
2. Inspirational Reading – Pick out several books to keep by your side. I like to have a variety depending on what my mood is. Currently I am reading, “New Seeds of Contemplation” by Thomas Merton. I also have a book of daily inspirational messages that I read right before my meditation. My old standby is “Around the Year with Emmet Fox”. I also enjoy, “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo. I usually read for about 20 minutes while sipping my coffee.
3. Meditation – If you do not have a meditation practice, a breathing meditation may be the way to start. Sit silently and concentrate on your breath going in and out of your body. When thoughts come, just let them go. Do not engage the thoughts. Just breathe. I set a timer for 20 minutes.
4. Journaling – Buy a special journal that you will use just for this purpose. After meditation, I open my journal and begin to write. I let the pen just flow. Some mornings, I may write a letter to God.
5. Silence and Reflection – Before leave my chair, I spend a few minutes in quiet reflection and praying.
These are just my suggestions, be flexible and create your own morning ritual.
What are your favorite books for inspiration?

Super Bowl Recipes

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced, super bowl

Recipes to Catch a Man

Football season was always a big event at my home. My two sons loved watching football with their father and uncles: both college games and NFL games. I am from Italian descent and any event always involved food and lots of it. Luckily, I love to cook and enjoyed preparing the “football fare”. The recipes below are some of their favorite super bowl recipes. Try them during football season and just maybe these will be recipes to catch a man. I choose some that are very easy to prepare, after all you still need time to blow dry your hair.

Man Catching Barbecued Ribs
1 onion sliced
4 – 5 pounds of baby back ribs
Salt and Pepper
Garlic Powder
I large bottle of good quality barbeque sauce
Line a large cookie sheet pan (that has sides) with heavy duty aluminum foil. (You will thank me for this step). Spread the onion slices in the pan. Sprinkle both sides of the ribs with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Place the ribs over the onion slice. Cover with heavy duty foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 2 hours.
Uncover the ribs. Spread the barbeque sauce over the back side of the ribs. Return to the oven, uncovered for 15 minutes. Spread the barbeque sauce over the front of the ribs. Return to oven, uncovered for 45 minutes.

Ranch Chili Dip
1 can, chili NO beans
1 large package cream cheese
Combine the ingredients in a small crock pot. Cook until the cheese is melted. Serve with tortilla chips.

Pizza Dip
1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese, softened
½ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon dried parsley
¼ teaspoon dried basil
1 cup shredded mozzarella
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 cup Pizza sauce
2 tablespoons finely chopped green pepper
In a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese and spices. Spread the mixture in the bottom of a 9 inch pie plate. Sprinkle ½ cup of the mozzarella cheese and ½ cup of the Parmesan cheese on top of the cream cheese mixture. Spread the pizza sauce over all. Sprinkle with remaining cheese, then top with green peppers. Cover with foil and bake in 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes, until heated through. Serve with slices of French bread.

Start Journaling This Year

By: Gloria Marie

journal, divorce, divorce advice, divorced women

Researchers have found that writing about emotions and stress can boost immune function. Studies have been done at both University of Texas at Austin and Syracuse University. Being single or divorced certainly can increase stress and can be very emotional at times. Journaling is a very convenient, easy way to express emotions and feelings. There is not much required: a journal or blank notebook and a pen. Journaling is portable; you can take a small journal with you to record thoughts or insights during your day. Try to start journaling this year.

Today’s Exercise
Sit is a quiet place where you will not be distributed. You may want to light a candle. Silently ask yourself the following question:
“What do I desire?”
Spend a few minutes just being: quietly sitting. Do not judge any thoughts that come up and do not try to find the answer. Just be. By silently asking the question, you have put it out in the Universe and asked the deepest part of you.
After a few minutes, take out your journal and being writing. Just write, let your pen flow. Do not judge what you write. Take a deep breath and continue writing. There are no rules as to the length or the time you spend.
After you are finished writing, take a deep breath, read over what you wrote. Then complete the following sentence:
“I am manifesting………”
This is a powerful exercise to bring your desires into your life. Is it a new job, more income, a boyfriend, more friends? Write your “I am manifesting” statement in your journal before you go to sleep. Our thoughts manifest. Start manifesting positive changes in your life.

Sometimes, I will write a letter to God.  I write about what I am grateful for and also about any problems or decisions I need to make. It helps me clarify my thoughts to move forward with confidence.

4 Ways to Initiate Change into Your Life

By: Gloria Marie

DIVORCE,divorced women, divorced, divorce the divorce

The holidays can be a very emotional time of year. As the year is nearing an end, you may be reflecting on this past year and possibly be disappointed in how the year went. You may be stressed from too many holiday parties and family visits or you may be stressed because you are alone or facing a life-threatening condition. You can initiate change into your life and you can control how you react to your life, one step at a time. Try these 4 ways to initiate change into your life.

My son recently had lunch with an actor who is currently the lead in a Broadway musical. He asked him, “How do you do the same part over and over and keep it fresh?” The actor said that every week, he picked one aspect of his performance to work on. One week it may his singing or his dancing, or doing his lines with a different motivation. That was how he kept his performance relevant every time he played that role.

This is not unlike our lives. Many times, we try to tackle all our issues, our problems or the changes we want at once. It is much better to pick one area for change, especially if we are feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

1. Pick one area of your life that you would like to change. Usually, it is one of four areas: prosperity, career/work, health, or relationships. This is especially important during this very stressful time of year. By taking control of one area, you will feel more in control of your entire life.
2. Spend some time writing down what you would like to change in that area. Try to be as specific as possible. For example, if you would like more prosperity, what specifically can you do to attract more into your life? Could it be to get a better paying job, get a second job, or stick to a budget better? If you are not sure, spend some time in silence getting in touch with your Inner Self. Practice this until you find an answer. And remember, we are taking one step at a time in one area.
3. When you have decided what you want, write it down where you can see it every day. Visualize it, think about it and pray about it. Know that the Universe is there to bring you your dreams and desires. Have faith.
4. Practice gratitude for what you already have. Thank God every day for the many gifts you already have in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce the divorce, divorce advice, divorced women

Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving to me represents the beginning of the holiday season. A time to be grateful, times spent with family and friends, and, from my Italian heritage, time for lots of good food. Our family always gathers together on Thanksgiving. The last several years, my sister and I split the cooking duties. We each make some of the traditional family recipes. I shared one of our favorite sweet potato recipes in a previous blog. You can access it here…

Thanksgiving is a wonderful day to take out your journal and spend some reflecting on what you are grateful for today. Think back over the past year and write down some obvious things to be grateful for, then dig deeper to discover what may not be as apparent.

One of our traditions is reading the prayer below. It was written by Chief Yellow Lark. He was a nineteenth century medicine man of the Lakota Sioux.

Let Me Walk in Beauty
O Great Spirit,
whose voice I hear in the winds
and whose breath gives life to all the world,
hear me.
I am small and weak.
I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty
and let my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears grow sharp to hear you voice.

Make me wise so that I may understand the things
you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden
in every leaf and rock.
I seek strength not to be greater than my brother or sister
but to fight my greatest enemy, myself.
Make me always ready
to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes
So when life fades as the fading sunset
my spirit may come to you without shame.

I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving that is filled with love and gratitude.

How to Make Every Day a Happy Day

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single women, divorce the divorce

How to Make Every Day a Happy Day

How many of you woke up today feeling really excited and joyful to start your day? How many of you wake up this way every day? You are probably thinking, she is crazy, that is not possible. It is possible! I will teach you how to make every day a happy day.

It all starts with our mind. Your mind is a powerhouse that you can tap into and use its incredible strength. Picture yourself as the captain of a ship. You control where the ship goes. Likewise, you can control your thoughts and you will see changes in your life.

Our happiness is an inside job. It is not dependent on material things, other people or even our jobs. We need food and shelter and therefore need our jobs, but, you could have the best, most exciting job in the world and still be unhappy.

Try these 5 steps to make every day a happy day.

1. Begin you day with prayer and gratitude. Before your feet hit the floor, be grateful that you woke up for another sunrise. Say a prayer for yourself or others. Ask God for guidance.
2. Give something away. Give away love, your time, money, advice or even a smile to a stranger.
3. Do something you are passionate about. If you are not passionate about your work, find something that brings passion in your life. A hobby could turn into a career.
4. Face your fears. We are all fearful about something, instead of ignoring your fears, embrace them and take steps to remove them.
5. Use affirmations. Affirmations are powerful, positive statement written in the present tense. If you start you day saying, “I dread today, it is going to be a terrible day.” I can tell you with 100% accuracy that you WILL have a terrible day. Instead, try these affirmations. “Miracle will follow miracle and wonders will never cease today.” “Divine Love surrounds me and guides me today.” “This is a new and wonderful day for me.”

For the next week, try these five steps. You are the captain of the ship and you CAN live in joy!

Mercury Retrograde Has Ended

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorced, divorced women

Mercury retrograde ended on October 9. But, astrologers feel there is shadow effect that can last for up to two weeks once it goes direct. So, you may still feel some effects of it even thought Mercury retrograde has ended.

Mercury rules communications, so, Mercury retrograde is not an ideal time to sign contracts or buy computers. It also can effect communication like publishing and the Internet. Of course, we could not stop our lives the past several weeks, it was a time to double check everything.

My computer crashed during a Mercury retrograde, it was not an ideal time to buy a new computer, but, I needed it for work. My new computer got a virus immediately that took tech support three days to remove.

Mercury retrograde is a time of redo, reassess or revisit. You may hear from friends or partners from your past. That is what happened to me!

A former business partner contacted me. I had not heard from him in over 6 months. Hearing from him made me evaluate our relationship and look at it in a new light. Without blame or fault, I knew I could not go into a relationship with this person again. It was not good for me to be around this person again. I needed to release the relationship once and for all.

How did I do that? I spent time in prayer and meditation. Then, I journaled my feelings and thoughts. This was over several days and I felt at peace. I was forced to “reevaluate” the situation and clean it up for good.

I had another situation with my former husband that needed “redoing”, well this Mercury retrograde brought the opportunity for me to face it head on, not an easy thing to do. But, again, I took charge of the situation, handled it and now my relationship with him is in a different light.

This was a very unusual retrograde period for me, but, I feel very blessed and empowered to move on!

Try This Simple Morning Routine

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorce the divorce,

With a little organization and a morning routine, you can get your day off to a fantastic start. Since I work at home, it is very easy to get distracted. Without some organization, I could waste away most of the morning. Try this simple morning routine that I practice and see if it makes a difference in your day.

For me, social media can be a huge distraction. I log on to one site and before I know it 20 minutes have past. Or, how about the morning talks shows. I will tell myself that I will only watch for a few minutes and before I know it, my coffee is finished and more time past than I wanted.

To avoid wasting away the morning, I do this simple routine.

1. Plan Your Day the Night Before. I spend a few minutes at night writing down what I would like to accomplish the next day. My list usually includes both work items and personal items. This way, when I go into my office in the morning, I can start focusing immediately.
2. Meditate Even a few minutes of meditation will calm your mind. It is a great way to begin your day. Many studies have been done on the physical and mental benefits of meditation.
3. Eat Breakfast – Breakfast is easy to skip. You may be running late and think a cup of coffee would suffice. Our bodies need fuel. You wouldn’t be able to get to work without gas in your car. Again, try to plan the night before. A protein shake takes only a few seconds to make.
4. Exercise – If I do not have the time to go to the gym, I put on a 15-minute exercise app. Exercise will help your mental attitude and boost your energy.

Try these four simple steps and see what a difference it can make in your day.