Tag Archives: single

Key to Happiness

By: Gloria Marie

 

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Resentment, anger, and grief over past relationships hold a tremendous amount of energy. It is important to release the negative energy in order for more positive relationships to flow into your life. It is almost like creating a “space” for something or someone new to enter. Below I describe one technique I use to forgive and move on. This exercise can work not only for romantic relationships, it can work for any relationship that needs healing and closure.

There was one man I dated for several months. I felt the relationship was a convenience instead of a priority. The relationship did not progress. Every date was like the “first” date, no more no less. I used this exercise to get the courage to end the relationship and to move on.

In order to release myself and my energy from a relationship, I would write a letter to them. Sometimes it was just one letter other times six or seven. No one would ever see the letters. When I felt I wrote all I need to, I would follow the steps I list below. It provided closure and healing.

This is a powerful exercise.
1. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Sit in a comfortable chair in a quiet space. Take a few deep breaths. Write a letter to the person you need to forgive or the person you need to let go of. Take your time. Write your feelings about them; how they hurt you, how that felt, how you may have done things differently. There is no rule as to how long the letter has to be, keep writing until you have nothing else to say to them. When you feel you have written enough, at the bottom of the letter wish them well and sign your name.

2. Tear the letter up into small pieces and then do one of the following: a) Put them in a pan and burn them. Obviously, be very careful with this step. As you watch them burn say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed or at least wish them happiness b) Bury the pieces of paper in the ground. As you cover them with dirt, say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed to.

3. Repeat this as often as needed, until you feel you have forgiven and released the person. You know you have released this person’s energy when you no longer feel any strong emotion when you think of them.

How many letters did your forgiveness take?

10 Ways to Ground Yourself

By: Gloria Marie

It is important to ground yourself on a regular basis, especially if you are on a spiritual path. We live and walk on this beautiful, magnificent earth and it is vital to stay balanced in our spiritual, emotional and physical body. By being balanced, centered, and aligned we become fully present in the moment. The “what-if” about the future become less dominant. Have you ever driven somewhere and you do not remember how you got to your destination? That is an example of being not grounded. Today, I will suggest 10 ways to ground yourself and I encourage you to try several this week.

The driving example I used above happens to me. I will leave my house go to a meeting and realize I do not remember how I got there. When that happens, I stop, and do one of the techniques below. I also find them helpful when I am working on a project, especially ones that involves creativity. I will stop, leave my desk and ground myself. It really gives a fresh start.

Other signs that you may not be grounded:
• Day dreaming
• Dizzy
• Forgetful
• Spacey
• Scattered
• Trouble focusing on a task

10 Ways to Ground Yourself
1. Eat something that is from the earth: potato, carrot, parsnip, beets.
2. Walk barefoot on grass. I try to do this every day.
3. Do gardening. Try to not wear gloves, so, you can feel the dirt. If you live in a cold climate, plant a small herb garden on a window sill.
4. Visualize a rod going down your back and all the way to the center of the earth.
5. Be aware of smells, sounds, and temperatures.
6. Visualize a tree with large roots that go to the center of the earth. Picture yourself next to the tree.
7. Spend some time in nature.
8. Bake bread. While kneading the dough by hand, concentrate on the texture and smell of the dough.
9. Wear red or eat red foods to clear your root chakra.
10. Use the essential oils Patchouli and Cedarwood.

Which of these techniques worked for you?

Happy Thanksgiving

By: Gloria Marie

gloria pierson, gloria marie pierson, happy thanksgiving

 

Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving to me represents the beginning of the holiday season.  A time to be grateful, times spent with family and friends, and, from my Italian heritage, time for lots of good food.  Our family always gathers together on Thanksgiving.  The last several years, my sister and I split the cooking duties.  We each make some of the traditional family recipes.  I shared one of our favorite sweet potato recipes in a previous blog.  You can access it here…

Thanksgiving is a wonderful day to take out your journal and spend some reflecting on what you are grateful for today.  Think back over the past year and write down some obvious things to be grateful for, then dig deeper to discover what may not be as apparent.

One of our traditions is reading the prayer below. It was written by Chief Yellow Lark.  He was a nineteenth century medicine man of the Lakota Sioux.

Let Me Walk in Beauty

O Great Spirit,

whose voice I hear in the winds

and whose breath gives life to all the world,

hear me.

I am small and weak.

I need your strength and wisdom.

 

Let me walk in beauty

and let my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made

and my ears grow sharp to hear you voice.

 

Make me wise so that I may understand the things

you have taught my people.

Let me learn the lessons you have hidden

in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength not to be greater than my brother or sister

but to fight my greatest enemy, myself.

Make me always ready

to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes

So when life fades as the fading sunset

my spirit may come to you without shame.

 

I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving that is filled with love and gratitude.

15 Ways to Save Money

By: Gloria Marie

 

After my divorce, I had to come up with ways to spend less and save money. I no longer lived in a two income household. So, I came up with 15 ways to save money. If it seems too overwhelming to enact these all at once, try a few at a time. Some may be harder to put in place: giving up that spa facial may be difficult or giving up the morning coffee stop. This week make it a point to try at least 3 of these tips.

1. Limit the number of times you eat out. Instead, have friends over for a pot luck meal. You can exchange recipes. This can be fun and it is low-cost. Maybe even watch a movie or play a card game.
2. Call you credit card company to ask for a lower interest rate.
3. Practice a 30 day wait on unnecessary purchases. A 30 day wait will stop impulse buys and help you purchase only what you need.
4. Disconnect your land line. Switch to using your mobile phone.
5. Switch bank accounts to get free checking. Shop around for better rates.
6. Turn lights, computer, and other appliances off when you are not at home.
7. Try generic brands of your favorite beauty products and foods.
8. Brown bag your lunch. Add up the cost of eating out for lunch every day, it is probably quite costly. Plan your lunches on Sunday.
9. Develop your grocery list and meals around the weekly grocery flyer specials.
10. Go to the library for books, CD’s and movies. It is free or low-cost for rentals.
11. Drop the gym membership. Opt for free You Tube exercise videos or free exercise apps.
12. Clean your closets to make extra money. Sell things you no longer need or want on eBay, Craigslist, or have a garage sale.
13. Disconnect your cable and sign up for Netflix or Hulu Plus instead.
14. Make your own cup of coffee in the morning instead of stopping at the local coffee shop.
15. Cut spa costs- buy the products and give yourself a facial, manicure and pedicure at home.

Did you try any of these? Which ones worked for you?

Kind Meditation

By: Gloria Marie

Some days, I find it a little more difficult to meditate. On those days, I prefer to use a guided meditation. One of my favorite mediation apps is Buddify2.  It is easy to navigate and has a wonderful variety of meditations to choose from.  They have meditations for feeling stressed, going to sleep, in nature and many, many more.  They meditations also vary in length.  I love the “Kind” meditation.

Today there was a lunar eclipse.  As a cancer, lunar phases seem to affect me. This lunar eclipse made me feel anxious, so, I thought I needed to take the emphasis off of “me” and put my energy into others. I needed to get out of my own head and connect with others.  So, I chose the Buddify 2 “Kind” meditation.  This is my version of the “Kind” Meditation.

The steps for the Meditation:

  1. Take a few minutes to sit still and take a few deep breaths.
  2. Think about someone you love or have affection for. The first person that comes to mind, is probably the one you want to direct your energy to. Silently repeat the following phrase while visualizing this person in your mind. “I wish you love and happiness”. Repeat this phrase silently for a few minutes.  Then, picture your heart surrounded by beautiful pink light. Visualize this light growing and growing. Surround the person you are thinking about with this beautiful pink light, from your heart to theirs.
  3. Choose a second person that you love or have affection for. Repeat the above. Silently repeating,” I wish you love and happiness”.  Then visualize the beautiful pink light from your heart to theirs.
  4. Now repeat the above on yourself. Silently repeat, “I wish you love and happiness”. Then visualize your entire body surrounded with pink light.
  5. Take a few deep breaths and slowly open your eyes.

Did you feel more relaxed?

Are You Willing to Change?

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorced women, divorce the divorce, divorced women

How many times have you settled for less that you wanted? This could be in the clothes you buy, relationships, or the food you eat? Maybe it is the job that you are in? Are you willing to change old habits and bring more joy into your life? Are you willing to change?

As I reflect over the past seven years of dating, there were many times I just settled for what came my way. This was also true in my career choices. There were times I settled for less than what would bring me true happiness and joy. Old patterns are hard to break sometimes. I was so accustomed  to believing that I could not have what I wanted. True happiness was for other people, not me.

This is a form of desperation and fear. Eventually, I was willing to change and start believing that I could have what I wanted. I was willing to release the old habits and fears and focus on my desired outcomes. First come thoughts and then manifesting. Just like you think about what you want for dinner before you prepare and eat the dinner. If you are sewing a blouse, you think about it and plan before you begin sewing.

3 Ways to Begin Changing Today

1. Begin using Affirmations. Read my Blog on Affirmations to get ideas on how to start using them.
2. Visualize your desired outcome. What type of relationship do you want? What type of job would you like? Remember first comes the plans for a house before a house is built.
3. Remain vigilant with your thoughts. Stay positive. Use affirmations.

If you are in a situation and you are not sure if you are “settling”, ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy?”

Are you willing to change? What worked for you?

Tip 21 More Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

 Tip 21 More Dating Tips

Wine

Dating as a “senior” women can bring complications. It is certainly not the same as when we were in our 20’s. After going on probably 100 first dates the last several years, I have encounter a wide variety of situations.  That is why I will give more dating tips.

A recent study on datingadvice.com said that divorcees are 18% more likely than singles to have a one night stand. The research felt that the reason divorcees have one night stands is because they are not ready for a relationship and it increases their self-esteem. Men are 64% more likely to have a one night stand.

My Tips:

  1. If you do decide to have sex on a first date have safe sex.  Safe sex should be practiced for several months in any relationship.  Do not try to be pressured in the “heat” of the moment.  Protect and respect your body.
  2. Do not involve your children and family in a one night stand.  Keep these two parts of your life separate.
  3. Do not romanticize a one night stand.  Except it for what it is and move on.
  4. Our bodies are not the same as they were in our 20’s or 30’s, but, do not be ashamed about the way you look.  You are a beautiful unique human being.
  5. Entering a relationship takes a lot longer at our age.  I have found both men and women use caution before entering a relationship.  Our lives are more complicated than when we were young.
  6. Lunch dates are very popular for people our age.

If you want love as priority in your life, you will have to make an effort.  Besides on-line dating and introductions from friends, think of other creative ways to meet men. Social activities and meet-up groups are another wonderful way to meet men.

What type of activities have you found successful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cleanse Your Space

By: Gloria Marie

Cleanse Your Space Skyblue Clustervine, Pentantha flower Your home, your space, is probably filled with objects from your former married life.  Objects carry energy. De-cluttering your home will help remove “stagnant energy” to make room for new people and events in your life. Out with the old prepares your home for new energy to enter.

Take a few deep breaths and slowly, quietly, walk around your home.  Be sensitive to what you are feeling.  Are there any parts of your home that have you feel angry, depressed, and unhappy? Are there any specific objects that have you feel anxious?  If you answered yes to these questions, this is where you begin to de-clutter, rearrange and cleanse your space.

If this is overwhelming for you, start with just one drawer, one shelf. Start in a small way with things that are not as difficult to part with.  Once you get started, it will get easier.  The important point is to start.

I recently moved to a house less than half the size of my former home. At first, it was so hard to part with my belongings, but, once I got going, it felt so good. My house felt brighter and I was happier.  After that process, I only purchase objects that I really love. If you are looking for love, it is very important to cleanse your bedroom area.

Do you still have clothes or articles that belong to your former husband?  Get them out of there. Call him up and have him pick them up.  It is time you made the bedroom, your room.  Get some new sheets and new pillows.  Rearrange the decorations. Maybe buy some new art objects.  Clear out a drawer and some closet space for your new lover.  This is an important step, you are telling the Universe, that you are ready to have someone new come into your life.

Free up space-change the energy!

Create a Personal Foundation

By: Gloria Marie

Sensational Sunday

Create a Personal Foundation

rose-203270_640

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week for Sensational Sunday we will create a strong personal foundation.  We will identify “life’s drainers”.

Have you ever spent time with someone and afterwards you feel tired? Have you ever been to a place and when you left you felt drained?  Have you been in group settings and afterwards you felt lethargic?   We are all made of energy and we are all connected.  What you may have felt, is what I call an “energy vampire”.  These are people, groups or places that drain our positive energy both emotionally and spiritually.  Do not judge or interpret that these situations or people are bad; they just drain your energy.

Start to become aware of when you are feeling this way.  It may be very subtle or it may be very strong.  Also, be aware of what part of your body is feeling tired.  Mine is usually in the solar plexus area. It is important to create a strong personal foundation and identify your “life drainers”.   The exercise below will help you identify people and situations that zap your energy. Sometimes you may be able to take a physical action: limiting you time spent, removing someone from your life, go for a walk.  Other times you may be unable to do a physical action. In that case, visualize yourself surrounded with white light as a shield of protection around your entire body and say a prayer for protection.  It works, try it. But, first it is important to identify the energy vampires and then decide on an action.

  List the people, places, events and tasks that drain you emotionally and spiritually.

Then, decide on proactive steps to stop the “Life Drainers”.

 

                   Home Drainers        Action                                    Work Drainer’s           Action

 

Aromatherapy for Relaxation

By: Gloria Marie

Sensational Sunday   Aromatherapy for Relaxation

 Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week we are going to discuss aromatherapy for relaxing and which specific essential oils work great.  My blog on July 20 listed various aromatherapy techniques.

tulips-47399_640

Aromatherapy is, as the name suggests, a therapy that uses aromas. These aromas are produced from plants, trees, and herbs. Aromatherapy oils have the ability to affect our moods and fill a whole room with their fragrance.  The oils can be smelled, put in a simple burner, or applied to the skin. There is also an electric aromatherapy vaporizer that uses water with the oils.  Today we will discuss some oils that are good for relaxation.

First, a warning about using the oils.  The essential oils should not be applied directly to the skin undiluted.  True essential oils are undiluted and come in small dark blue or brown bottles.

Oils for Relaxing

1. Clary Sage – It is extremely euphoric and is very good as an antidepressant. It is also good mixed into a bath

2. Jasmine – Jasmine is one of the most powerful of the antidepressant oils. It has a sweet floral fragrance. It also has aphrodisiac and sedative properties.  It should be used in moderation.

3. Lavender – If you had to choose just one essential oil, choose lavender. It is versatile oil and is derived from the flowers of the herb.  Lavender has strong calming qualities and is effective for tension, depression, and insomnia.  Put a drop of lavender oil on your pillow at night.

4. Rose – The scent is very feminine. It is strongly antidepressant and has aphrodisiac properties… Try adding a few drops to your bath water

5. Sandalwood – This is a warm, sweet, woody essence that comes from the sandalwood tree. It has a calming, antidepressant effect and is also has aphrodisiac proprieties.

6. Lemon – It is refreshing, cleansing oil.  It can help with depression and fatigue. The oil comes from the peel of the fruit.

Which of these essential oils appeal to you?