Tag Archives: self help

Life as a River

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single happy strong, divorce the divorce

Our life flows and ebbs like a river. There is constant movement. Usually though, we resist the movement. Our distractions and our rigidity to change gets us caught on logs or rocks in the river. We stop the flow instead of going with it. Try to image your life as a river and go with the flow.

A few summers ago, my son and I were on the Snake River. Across the river were a family of otters. It was delightful watching them play, going under water and then popping back up. They followed the flow of the river with trust and abandonment. We could use a lesson from these otters and try to go with the flow of our life like the flow of a river.

The rocks and logs represent our need to control outcomes even though sometimes there is nothing we can do to control them. We can set clear intentions with the Universe, remain focused and stay flexible.

Try these steps to “flow” like a river:

1. Set clear intentions.
2. Stay focused on your desires. Think- The Law of Attraction.
3. Remain non-judgmental and let go of the outcomes.
4. Stay flexible on how your intentions will materialize.
5. When obstacles come up, keep an open mind and work through them.
6. Remain open to receiving.
7. Remember that life, like a river continually flows and changes.

Your intentions will set the process in motion. They may come packaged very different from what you expected. It also may take more time to materialize than you would like. Remain flexible and go with the flow.

Find some music or a You Tube video that gives the sound of a rushing river. Keep it handy and when you feel resistance use that sound as a gentle reminder.

Sleepless Night?

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single women, single happy strong

Normally, I have no problems getting a really good night’s sleep, but, every now and then I find myself awake all night. Have you ever had that problem? For no apparent reason, the clock is at 2, then 3, then 4, 5 and finally at 6 I get up. Well, that happened to me last night and it was a long time since I had experienced it. None of my usual “going back to sleep” remedies worked.

At 6:00, I longed to stay in bed, but, I felt that was not the answer. I was determined to get up and have a productive day and be very loving and kind to myself.
This was my strategy!
1. Upon getting up, I had a glass of water with lemon in it. I limited my coffee to ½ cup.
2. I meditated for 20 minutes. This helped to give me energy.
3. After my meditation, I spent a few minutes thinking about if there was anything I was trying to avoid and perhaps that was why I could not sleep.
4. I sat down and made a list of what I “needed” to accomplish, because I knew without a list and/or an action plan, it would be very easy to let the day slip by. Then, I put stars by the most difficult tasks, so, I would do those first.
5. Instead of complaining about my lack of sleep, I wrote down 10 things that I am grateful for. This is a wonderful way to change your energy.
6. I drank over 8 glasses of water during the day and ate meals that were light and healthy.
7. Exercise – I forced myself to go to the gym. I did a light workout, 30 minutes on the treadmill.
8. No naps.
9. I plan on having a quiet evening and going to bed at my usual time.

Chronic sleeplessness can be serious or can be caused by a medical condition that requires a doctor’s care. But, for a sleepless night every now and then, try my 9 steps.

20 Inspirational Quotes

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorced, inspirational quotes

We can learn from the wisdom of others. I love quotes from all sorts of people: mystics, celebrities, a wise children. Sometimes a quote is just the pick me up or encouragement we need at a given moment. This list below contains some of my favorites. You might consider printing it for the days when you need a lift.

1. If you dream it, you can do it. –Walt Disney
2. We become what we think about. – Earl Nightingale
3. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost
4. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. Certain things catch you eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. – Ancient Indian Proverb
6. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu
7. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. – Dalai Lama
8. Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
9. Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale
10. A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein
11. All that you achieve an all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts. – James Allen
12. The soul cannot smile if the eyes did not cry. – Native American
13. There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge. – Napoleon Hill
14. Whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery. – Anne Frank
15. Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions. – Dalai Lama
16. The perfect love is the love within you. – Marianne Williamson
17. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. – Henry David Thoreau
18. Follow not others in your life. Follow your heart and each day will be yours, not somebody else’s. – Ron Rathbun
19. Fall seven times and stand up eight. – Japanese Proverb
20. You can’t us up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. – Maya Angelou

Finding Your Calling

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorced women, divorce the divorce

Passion is defined as a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything. Finding your passion can help you in finding your calling. This may occur at any time in your life. Some people find their passion at an early age. Others may not find their passion until much later in life. For me, one passion of mine is writing. I never look at the clock and hours could go by because I am lost and in love with what I am doing.

First, find your passion and that may help lead you to finding your calling in life. A hobby may turn into a career.

Reflect on these questions, take your time. It may take a few weeks before you can answer them. Perhaps write your answers in your journal.

1. What activity would you engage in even if you never made money doing it?
2. When you dream, what do you dream about?
3. What do you like to read about?
4. What do you do for fun?
5. What sparks your creativity?
6. What are 3 past life experiences that left you with a sense of fulfillment?
7. What was the best time you ever had?
8. What is your favorite part about life?
9. What activities make you feel like your heart is about to burst?
10. If you could do anything today, what would it be?

Now what? While reflecting on these answers, write down 3 things that bring you passion. They may be small things: watching a good movie, preparing and sharing a meal with friends, time in silence in nature, or dancing. This week, try to incorporate one of your passions into your life.
1. Start with a small thing this week.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to make the time.
3. Journal about how you felt after the experience.

What was your passion?

Homemade Gnocchi

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, single women, homemade gnocchi, single happy strong,

One of my favorite hobbies and a favorite way to relax is cooking. It may be from my Italian heritage. In my house when I was growing up, everything revolved around food. I guess to this day, it still provides comfort to me. Cooking is a type of meditation for me. I immense myself in preparing a recipe and feel gratitude for anyone that had anything to do with bringing the food to my kitchen. The April recipe is for homemade gnocchi.
My Mom always made homemade gnocchi. It was a family favorite. She made hers with mashed potatoes. In my recipe, the gnocchi is made with ricotta cheese. They are lighter and more delicate than the ones made with mashed potatoes. What is really great, is that they are so easy to make. You will never buy prepared gnocchi again. This recipe serves four.
1 16 oz. container of whole-mild ricotta
1 large egg
½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup flour
1. Set a strainer lined with paper towels over a bowl. Add the ricotta and let the cheese drain for about one hour.
2. In a large bowl, mix the strained ricotta, egg, cheese, and flour. Cover and refrigerate for 15 minutes.
3. Check the dough, it should be a little tacky. If it clings to your fingers, put a little more flour in, one teaspoon at a time. Refrigerate another 15 minutes.
4. Sprinkle a cookie sheet with flour.
5. Get the dough from the refrigerator. Sprinkle your hands with flour and also the counter you are working on. Grab a tennis ball size of the dough and roll it into a log shape. Cut the log into 3/4” pieces. Toss with a little flour on the baking sheet to prevent sticking. Repeat with the remaining dough.
6. You can cook them at this point or freeze them to use later. If cooking, boil a pot of water and add ½ of the gnocchi. Gently stir them, so they do not stick. When they come to the surface, reduce heat to medium and cook for 2 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon. Repeat with the other half and serve with your favorite sauce.
7. If you are going to freeze them. Freeze them on the baking sheet. When they are frozen, put them in a zip lock bag. Cook them the same way.

Full of Fear

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, fear, divorce women, single women, divorce

My son was recently home on spring break. He loves watching all sorts of sports and on this one particular day he was watching a soccer match on television. I began to make lunch for us and suddenly I felt full of fear and stressed. Ignoring my own advice, I kept telling myself that it was nothing. What could I be stressed about? My son was home and it was wonderful for us to be together.

After a few more minutes, I realized that the soccer game on the television was really annoying me. It made no sense. We ate our lunch and after lunch, I decided I needed some quiet time to “be” with my feelings of fear. What was it about the soccer game that I was reacting to?

After a few minutes, it dawned on me. The light bulb went off in my head. Several summers ago, I was not working and money was really tight. We were living in Florida and it was a very HOT summer. Because money was tight, I kept the air conditioner on about 80 degrees, really not comfortable. That summer was difficult for many reasons. It was also the summer of the world championship for soccer. Whenever my son was not working, he was watching soccer.

Fast track to this spring break, when he was watching soccer, my mind and my body reverted back to that challenging summer several years ago. It was a relief when I figured it out. It reminded me of the behavior modification work of B.F. Skinner and the rats that I learned about in college. However, I am not a rat and I can change the way I react.

I vowed to change that pattern. The past was over and we now have our air conditioning on a very comfortable level and life is really good!

Self Help Books for April

By: Gloria Marie

self help books, divorce advice, divorce, single women, single happy and strong.

 

Spring is here, a time for renewal.  This is a great time to read some new inspirational books.  I have picked out three to recommend this month.  One of them, I actually reread again.  “As A Man Thinkekth”, I never get tired of the wise words of James Allen.  Try these self books for April.

As You Think”

By James Allen

 The original classic was written in 1904. It reveals to us that the keys to success are within our own minds, it show us how to use these keys to unlock the greatest fulfillment we can imagine. “As You Think” is a simple yet powerful reminder that “all we achieve and all that we fail to achieve is the direct result of our own thoughts.  We are the master of our desires.

“How to Survive the Loss of a Love”

By Harold Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams

 One of the most directly helpful books on the subject of loss ever written, the first edition of this comforting and inspiring book, published in 1976, sold nearly two million copies. This completely revised and expanded edition encompasses not only the medical and psychological advances in the treatment of loss, but also the authors’ own experiences.  This is a handbook of inspiration, ideas, poems and encouragement.  The authors state, “This is a book to be used not just read.”

 

“The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money and Miracles”

By Marianne Williamson

In The Law of Divine Compensation, she reveals the spiritual principles that help us overcome financial stress and unleash the divine power of abundance. A guru to anyone interested in spirituality, Williamson’s words ring with power and truth as she assures us that, with faith in God’s promise of prosperity for all, we need never fear the future.  This book has suggested activities, prayers, and meditations.

Happy Spring!  What are some of your favorite self-help books?

 

single happy and strong, divorce, divorce advice, single women, self help books

 

 

Vision Board for Love

By: Gloria Marie

love, heart, single women, dating, divorce, vision board, divorced women

My theme for February has been love and romance. To continue with that theme, let’s make a vision board for love this month. Having a “visual” to look at helps employ an extra modality. It supports the feeling of giving and receiving love to permeate your entire being. My first career was as an exceptional education teacher. I taught multiply handicapped children. My lesson plans involved using as many modalities as possible to teach a concept. For example, if I was introducing a letter of the alphabet, I would employ touch, taste, visual and auditory stimulation. To introduce the letter “A”, I would have them say “A” out loud, show the letter “A”, touch the letter “A” in sandpaper or clay, and taste an apple.

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,
They’re in each other all along”
-Rumi

Follow these steps to design your vision board for love.
Materials Needed:
1. Gather together a poster board, scissors, glue, and colorful markers. I usually like to use a foam board. There are no rules for the size of the board
2. Search the Internet and magazines for photos that you feel represent love and romance.
3. A photo of yourself looking happy.
Making the Vision Board for Love:
1. Put the photo of yourself in the middle of the board.
2. Surround your photo with photos from magazines and the Internet that illicit the feeling of love in your heart. This is a very personal decision. Look for photos of happy couples and couples in love.
3. Use the colorful markers to write quotes about love and romance.
4. Decorate the poster with other fun things: stars, airline tickets (if you want to travel), ribbons, and flowers.
5. Leave some room for other photos or quotes you may find in the future.
6. Place this vision board where you can see it every day.
Did you have fun doing this project?  Where are you going to put your vision board?

Meditation to Give and Receive Love

By: Gloria Marie

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This simple meditation is a great way to open your heart chakra and feel the energy of giving and receiving love. This meditation is great to do if you want to attract a relationship into your life. Of course, it is not only designed for single or divorced women. If you feel negative energy around you or if you are feeling depressed or upset, try this meditation to change the negative energy to a feeling of love and warmth. It only takes a few minutes. Ready to meditate to give and receive love? Read the instructions a couple of times and try to do it from memory.

Find a quiet space to sit. A place that you will not be interrupted or distracted. Close your eyes and take a few deep breathes. Continue taking breathes until you feel relaxed. Try to let go of any worries or thoughts. Concentrate on the breaths going in and out of your body. Feel grateful for the air that you are breathing. When you feel relaxed, imagine a beautiful pink light surrounding your heart area. Imagine this beautiful pink light growing larger and larger with each breath. It keeps growing until it surrounds your entire body. Feel that this beautiful light is surrounding you with love. Now imagine there is someone sitting in front of you. This could be someone you know: your husband, your son, or your daughter. Or if you want to attract a relationship, this could be your future partner. You extend the beautiful pink light to them and surround them with your light and love. Fell the love extending from your heart to theirs. Now imagine they are sending you lots of love and pink light. You are allowing your heart to open to receive the love. Continue sending and receiving love for a few more minutes. Slowly open your eyes. Thank the Universe for filling your life with love and joy.

Open Your Heart for Love

By: Gloria Marie

Divorce, painful relationships, and childhood based hurts can all allow us to close our hearts for love. If you are looking for love, it is important that your heart remain open to both give and receive love. Our heart chakra is in the middle of our chest. It is associated with the color green. This exercise will help you open your heart for love.

Change your energy and open your heart with this exercise from “The Eight Human Talents” by Gurmukh.

Sit cross legged on the floor. You may sit on a cushion, if it is more comfortable. If you cannot sit cross legged, sit straight on a chair. Stretch your arms straight out in front of you. Your elbows are straight, your palms are together and your arms are parallel to the floor. Inhale through you nose. As you inhale, open your arms widely to the side. Think of opening your chest and bringing your shoulder blades closer together. Exhale through your nose and bring your arms back to the original position.

As you bring your arms to the side on the inhale, place an awareness in your heart area. This awareness may have a beautiful, bright color associated with it. Maybe a beautiful pink color for love and romance. You may picture this color expanding out into the Universe.

As you open your arms repeat silently, “I open myself to give and receive love”. Slowly repeat this exercise 26 times.

How did you feel after doing this? You may want to journal your feelings in a notebook. When you are feeling unloved or alone, try repeating it. The best way to be ready for love it to love yourself first. Usually, that is the hardest thing for us to do. But, if you are aware and make an effort you can love yourself and spread love to others too.