Tag Archives: online dating

Online Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single happy strong

One in 10 Americans are actively involved in online dating. Have you ever tried it? I have tried most of the popular dating sites. I, like most people, get tired of the process. But, my philosophy is, if you don’t try, you are 100% assured of meeting no one online. As one of my dear friends says, “A man is not just going to show up on our front porch”.

There is a new study about online dating tips that was published in the Journal of Evidenced Based Medicine. The study was done by two doctors, Dr. Khan and Dr. Chaudhry. Dr. Chaudhry’s online dating attempts were not successful. So they decided to research the data and study it in the hopes of improving Dr. Chaudhry chances of success. They focused on 86 studies. This is what they found.

1. Success begins with choosing a user name. Men prefer user names that are linked to a physical trait. (Like Cutie). Women prefer user names that show intelligence. Both sexes like playful names.
2. User names from the first half of the alphabet do better than user names from the last half of the alphabet.
3. Successful profiles are divided by 70:30 ratio. Seventy percent of the profile with personal information and 30% gives a description of the desired partner.
4. Honest, likable profiles with humor were desirable.
5. Photos showing the user standing and smiling worked the best.
6. The best profiles were not too perfect.

Maybe it is time to redo you online profile using the above research tips. I think it is a good idea to have a friend read your profile. You may be omitting some great qualities about yourself. It is also good to add some new photos. Mix things up a bit.

You might also try some online dating apps. They are gaining in popularity. Tinder and The League are two popular ones. The important thing with any dating is to be smart and careful.

What to Wear on a Date?

By: Gloria Marie

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“I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you, when a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too asexual, that’s rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.”

-Maya Angelou

When I got divorced, the thought of dating was quite daunting. It had been almost 35 plus years since I had been on a first date.   I had no idea what to wear on a  date. I was a women in her 50’s. My only experience was from was dating in my 20’s and that would not provide me with any relevant information.  Divorce changes everything, including how you dress!

My suggestions:

  1. Dress for your age. Do not try to look like a 20 year old.
  2. Dress for the body you have, not the body you want. Make sure your clothes fit properly: not too large and not like you were poured into them.
  3. Beware of wearing too much black. A few years after my divorce, I looked at my closet, it contain mostly black clothes. I must have been in a state of mourning and wore clothes that you would wear to a funeral.  For your dating outfits, wear color. Colors that make you feel good and that look great on you.
  4. Show some skin, but, not too much. You do not want to look desperate or overly sexy. Maybe show your legs or your shoulders.
  5. Do not wear really high heels. Wear shoes that you can comfortably walk in.
  6. Wear some accessories, but, do not over do them either. Try wearing earrings and a necklace or earrings and a bracelet.

The most important point is to pick your outfit and then spend the evening concentrating on your date.  Will there be date number 2?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dating and Being Stood Up

By: Gloria Marie

 

“Love is a state of Being.  Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.  You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”

-Eckhart Tolle

These wise words from Eckhart Tolle are important to remember while in the dating process.  We all want love and companionship from other human being, but, love is deep within us.  Sometimes it may be hidden, but, it cannot be taken away from us. Dating will have its ups and its downs; just like life.  When you are stood up for the first time, it can hurt.  You may try to internalize the experience. You may try to relive the last time you spoke. Stop all the chatter in your mind and grow from yet another dating experience.  This is how I deal with dating and being stood up.

There was a man I met on an online dating site.  We went out for about 5 dates and had good times.  He asked me out for New Year’s Eve and I thought, “Great!”   It had been several years; yes several, since I had a date for New Year’s Eve.   December 30 he texted me and asked what I was doing the next evening.  I responded, “Going out with you, I thought we had plans.”  Well, that night, the next day and the next evening: no call and no text message.  I choose not to call him and I never heard from him again.

Of course, my mind initially created so many scenarios and finally, I decided, it did not matter what the circumstances were. All that mattered was my reaction to them.  I could have gotten angry. Anger could be a very logical response.  But, who would my anger hurt the most?  Me! Instead, every time I would feel hurt or anger, I would say, “I wish him much happiness”.  I continued to repeat this until the hurt and anger were gone.  I do hope he is happy and I do know for sure, he would not be for me!

Next time someone hurts you, wish them the best.  And remember as Eckhart Tolle says, “Love is deep within you and cannot leave you.”

 

Have you ever been stood up?  How did you react?

 

 

 

Tip 20 More Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

Tip 20 More Dating Tips

Red Wine

Dating is not a science. It might be nice if it was, our dating lives would be a whole lot easier! But, we must deal with emotions and feelings.  It is a constant learning process and just when I think I have it figured out…. I am proven wrong. Today we will discuss more dating tips and some recent research on dating.

The Pew Research Center recently published the following statistics about online dating:

1. Online dating had lost its stigma.  50% of the public knows someone who uses online dating or someone that has met someone through online dating.

2.About 1/3 of people have never gone on a date with someone they met on these sites.

3. 1 in 5 daters have asked someone else to help with their profile.

4. 5% of American in a marriage or committed relationship met their significant other online.

 

My tips somewhat based on this research:

 1. Do not make assumptions.  You may go out with someone, have a great time and never hear from them again.  Just move on.  My favorite phrase….NEXT!  Or you have a great conversation with someone you met online and they never ask you out. The research shows that over 30% of people online never go on a date.  Maybe they just wanted a phone pal.

2.Have a friend look at your online profile.  They may be able to tweak it a little. You may be too modest about your accomplishments or too vague about what you are looking for.

3. Do not just relay on online dating to meet that special someone.  Get out and about, move off your couch, ask your friends for introductions.  You want better stats then just 5%.

Most important always remain positive. You are an incredible human being that is worth loving.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tip 17 – More Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

Tip # 17 – More Dating Tips

 glasses-213156_640

It goes without saying that being single; you will experience many first dates and many new experiences.  Stay happy and strong through all the new adventures you encounter. Evan a bad date can be a growth experience.  Think of it as another brick in the foundation of the “new” you!  Today, I will share more dating tips. Please remember my number one advice on dating…Have Fun!

1. Do not discuss exes, politics or religion on a first date.  This may seem elementary, but, it bears repeating and remembering.  Singles in America did a survey and found:  74% of singles did not want to hear about exes, 62% did not want to talk about politics and 54% did not want to discuss religion.

2. Go on a first date with a positive attitude and have fun. Evan if there is not a second date, consider each date as an adventure and an opportunity to have a good time. Take any pressure off yourself about what might be “next”.  Try to stay mindful and in the moment.

3. If you are meeting someone from an on-line site consider a meeting place that has valet parking.  You really know very little about this person and I feel it is safer. It also makes the end of the evening less awkward.  Do you want someone walking you to your car in a dark parking lot?  I broke this rule of mine one time.  My date walked me to my car and he felt there was chemistry between us, I DID NOT.  As he tried to kiss me, I quickly got out my keys and jumped in my car.  Had I valet parked I would have prevented yet another uncomfortable moment.

My best dating advice is to stay positive, love yourself and treat yourself with respect.

Did you have any awkward dates?

 

 

 

 

Dating and Being Stood Up

By: Gloria Marie

Tip 14 Dating and Being Stood Up

“Love is a state of Being.  Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.  You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”

-Eckhart Tolle

New Years Eve 2011 London

These wise words from Eckhart Tolle are important to remember while in the dating process.  We all want love and companionship from other human being, but, love is deep within us.  Sometimes it may be hidden, but, it cannot be taken away from us. Dating will have its ups and its downs; just like life.  When you are stood up for the first time, it can hurt.  You may try to internalize the experience. You may try to relive the last time you spoke. Stop all the chatter in your mind and grow from yet another dating experience.

There was a man I met on an online dating site.  We went out for about 5 dates and had good times.  He asked me out for New Year’s Eve and I thought, “Great!”   It had been several years; yes several, since I had a date for New Year’s Eve.   December 30 he texted me and asked what I was doing the next evening.  I responded, “Going out with you, I thought we had plans.”  Well, that night, the next day and the next evening: no call and no text message.  I choose not to call him and I never heard from him again.

Of course, my mind initially created so many scenarios and finally, I decided, it did not matter what the circumstances were. All that mattered was my reaction to them.  I could have gotten angry. Anger could be a very logical response.  But, who would my anger hurt the most?  Me! I do believe in Divine Order and in circumstances like these, it is important to become unattached to the outcome of the situation. Instead, every time I would feel hurt or anger, I would say, “I wish him much happiness”.  I continued to repeat this until the hurt and anger were gone. This creates positive energy for you! I do hope he is happy and I do know for sure, he would not be for me!

When you feel hurt of anger toward someone:

  1. Deep Breathe
  2. Repeat, “I wish him much happiness”.
  3. Keep repeating until the strong feeling of anger or hurt has past.
  4. Repeat for as many days, weeks, as necessary.

Next time someone hurts you, wish them the best.  And remember as Eckhart Tolle says, “Love is deep within you and cannot leave you.”

Have you ever been stood up?  How did you react?

 

 

 

Dating Tip 11- Read to Expand Your Knowledge

By: Gloria Marie

Tip #11 Read to Expand Your Knowledge

Book collection

You are changing and expanding your world, so, I feel a great dating tip is to READ!  As a single woman, you want to keep your options open. Read for fun, read for knowledge. You are going to be out and about more and will be meeting all sorts of new people. Some may be future dates, others may be friends. Reading will help you enter into a conversation with strangers or with a potential boyfriend.

While going through my dark period, I stopped reading current events. My son and his college roommate came for a visit.  It was a real eye opener for me.  They would discuss all types of topics and current events, I had no clue what the conversations were about. After they left, I promised myself that I would read at least 3 news articles a day. To this day, I still read at least three articles a day.  With the Internet, it is so effortless to find three articles. Try different topics.  When you go out on dates, it will give you something to talk about besides the usual type of interview questions.  “Where did you grow up?” “How long have you lived here?”  “What type of work do you do” Boring!  You are growing; be different, be interesting, have fun.

My former neighbor, an attorney, actually gave me this advice.  I was going on my first “real” date after my divorce. He asked me where I was going. I told him were were going to a nice restaurant about 30 minutes away. My neighbor suggested, very wisely, that I read a couple of current event articles to give me something to talk about during the car ride.  Great advice, I still follow his suggestion to this day.

Expand your reading to books, both fiction and non-fiction. By expanding your world, you never know where the inspiration for the next step in your life, might turn up.

What do you enjoy reading?

 

 

 

Tips for Online Dating

By: Gloria Marie

Tip #10  Online Dating Tips

glasses-213156_640

 Online dating is a mainstream practice to meet that special someone.  The online websites have people of all ages.  A recent study by the Proceeding of the National Academy of Sciences stated that one-third of marriages in the United States began with online dating. Of those that did not meet on-line: 22% met at work, 19% met through friends, 9% met at a bar or club and 4% met at church.  Well, girls with those stats, I say, try it!  I have done on-line dating for several years. My philosophy is, if you are not “out” there, you have no hope of meeting someone special.

My on-line dating tips for today:

  1. Some men want a pen pal.  They go on and on with emails.  So many times, I would run out of “cute” things to say or ask.  Enough!  It is my advice to email back and forth several times and then set up a phone conversation.  If you are still interested after the phone call, arrange to meet for coffee or a drink. Do not spend a lot of time or energy with emails. Cut to the chase and if he is not right for you.  Next!   I often wondered about several men that wanted pen pals: maybe they were married or incarcerated?
  2. Be very suspicious of anyone that calls you “honey” or “sweetie” all the time.  The chances are pretty great, that they are dating quite a few women.  By using these endearing terms, will not make the mistake of calling you or the other women the wrong name.
  3. If you attempt online dating, spend some quiet time to analyze what is you are looking for in a man.  You will have many, many men contact you, but, if you are not sure what you want, you are wasting their time and yours.  Be selective in your choices.

Have you tried online dating?  How did you like it?