Tag Archives: helpfordivorcedwomen

It is Alright to Say No

By: Gloria Marie

midlife crisis, midlife crisis women, gloria pierson

Setting boundaries can be difficult in some areas of our lives. You may have no trouble with boundaries at work or with your children. How about boundaries with your family members or with friends? Or most important; boundaries with yourself? It is essential to be aware of and establish personal boundaries with ourselves, only then can we set boundaries with others. I equate it to the oxygen mask on planes. The flight attendant says, “Place the mask over your face before placing the mask with any children you are traveling with”.  Sometimes, it is alright to say no to demands on your time.

If we begin with ourselves then, it will be easier to establish other boundaries in our lives. By doing this you will empower yourself and become more confident. This will give you self-fulfillment and then you can freely give of yourself to others: your children, your family, and your friends. It is like putting gas in the tank of your car. If there is no gas, the car stops. If “your tank” is empty, it is hard to lead a happy, peaceful life.

Sometimes we feel guilty for doing things for ourselves or taking time for ourselves. There are all the “shoulda’” and “have to dos”. We get stuck in routines at work and at home. We go on autopilot and before we know it, we are exhausted and drained.

This exercise it to create a personal boundary.

1. Pick something that you enjoy doing: meditating, playing music, exercising, or reading. Have it something you look forward to doing, not something that is guilt driven.
2. Schedule this activity for 30 minutes to 1 hour each day for the next week. Put it on your calendar.
3. If you have children or roommates, put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door. This is your special time to renew and refresh your soul.

By empowering yourself to do this, it will carry over into other parts of your life.

What did your put into your schedule?

How to Confidently Make Important Decisions

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorced women, divorce the divorceDid you ever notice when you must make an important decision, your thoughts rapidly go through your head, and it seems like there is so much noise that you cannot think? We have all probably been there, and it might be because you are afraid that you will make the wrong decision. Or maybe you are scared to make any decisions. But, you can learn how to confidently make important decisions.

The key is to quiet your mind. We all are born with Inner Knowing and Inner Guidance that connects us with God, the source of Infinite Intelligence. But, we get caught up in the day to day activities, and we lose touch with this source. However, it is there for us to tap into and by training ourselves to tap that source, we can confidently make important decisions.

One of the ways to get in touch with our Inner Guidance is using a mantra. A mantra is a short phrase or word that you can silently repeat to yourself. With consistent use of a mantra, you can learn to calm your mind. With a calm mind, you can clearly make decisions.

Pick a mantra from the list below and silently repeat it to yourself. When you are stressed or worried, repeat it. When you are in traffic and upset, repeat it to yourself. By using it in everyday situations, it will become a powerhouse for you. Then, when it is time to make an important decision you are ready. Sit down in a quiet space, take some deep breaths and silently repeat the mantra. After a few minutes, your mind will quiet down, and you can begin to get in touch with your Inner Knowing and confidently know the answer.

Try this technique for small, unimportant decisions. Then, when the life-changing decisions need to be made, you will be ready!

Wishing you a week filled with love and light.

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Mantrams

Buddhist

Om mani padme hum

“The jewel in the lotus of the heart.”

Pronounced: ohm maa-nee paad-may-hoom

 

Christian

Jesus

 

Ave Maria or Hail Mary

“Ave Maria” means “Hail Mary” a mantram in honor of Mother Mary

 

My God and my all.

This was a phrase that Saint Francis used in his prayers

 

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us.

The Jesus prayer

 

Kyrie eleison or Lord have Mercy

 

Hindu

Rama

“The Lord as the source of abiding joy.”

 

Jewish

Barukh attah Adonal

“Blessed art thou, O Lord”

Pronounced: baa-rook aa-taa aa-doh-nai

 

Ribono shel olam

“Lord of the Universe”

Pronounced: rib-on-oh shell oh-lam

 

Muslim

Allah

The name of God.

 

How to Get Over A Breakup

By: Gloria Marie

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A breakup can take many forms. It can be the breakup of a romantic relationship, it could be the end of a friendship or the loss of a job or money. It could be divorce or a separation. Loss can take many forms. Watch the video to learn three techniques to teach you, “How to Get Over a Breakup.”

Allow yourself time to grieve. That is important, but, eventually, you will need to move on and open your heart to healing.

The visualization technique that I guide you through is a great tool for you to use in many situations.

You cannot change the past, but, you do have a choice going forward. The choice to heal, forgive and move on. This video goes over three techniques to help you move on. I discuss methods of journaling and creating a “Joy List.” Then there is a powerful, guided visualization technique for forgiveness and to open your heart to healing. Finally, I suggest the use of affirmations. Change your thoughts, change your life. Be kind and patient with yourself, and you will survive.
Affirmations
I deserve to be happy. I am creating my happiness
I am worth loving
I love myself.
I am strong.
Every day is an opportunity for joy.

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How to Deal With Betrayal

By: Gloria Marie

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How to Deal With Betrayal by a Friend

Betrayal by a friend is awful and hurtful, however, if you carry around bitterness or hostility you are zapping your own energy. The only one that continues to suffer will be you. It is like drinking poison! You do not need to condone or agree with their treatment of you. But, bitterness only hurts your energy. Like attracts like and you certainly do not want to attract more of the same. You want to attract loving, kind, and trustworthy friends into your life. Wish the betrayer well and cast if off. Spend your energy on thinking and attracting the type of true friends that you deserve. You cannot change what they did, you can only control your thoughts going forward. #betrayal #friendbetrayal

 

The Preciousness of Life

By: Gloria Marie

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Our lives unfold in Divine Order every day, yet the surrender to this is difficult. We worry about the past and the future. We get upset if things do not go our way and spend tons of energy being upset. This energy would be better directed to see the wonder and beauty that we have in our lives daily. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we are reminded of the preciousness of life. It happened to me this past week.

A dear friend of mine was admitted to Hospice this past week. My sister and I went late one evening to see her and to pray. Being in Hospice so late at night there was silence. The silence of acceptance. It was peaceful and serene. James Finely said in a retreat that I attended, “In Hospice, no one recovers, but, some people are healed. That is compassion.” At Hospice, there is surrender to Divine Order.

The next morning, the sky looked bluer than I had seen it in a while. The flowers and landscape in my backyard were beautiful. The air smelled so crisp and fresh. I felt alive and grateful for the day before me. Not that the day was perfect, rarely is a day perfect. But, I once again realized the preciousness of the simple things in life.

Many parts of our lives and days are spent in limbo, waiting for the future, perfect day instead of being fully alive today. Are there clothes in your closet that you wear only on special occasions? How about the cologne on your dresser that you rarely use? What else are you holding onto for the “just in case” future event?

Today is that special day! Look around you and be grateful for all the blessings in your life. Open your heart and feel the preciousness of life.

This is a helpful prayer to say in the morning.

“Divine Order takes charge in my life today and every day. All things work together for me today. This is a new and wonderful day for me. I am divinely guided all day long.”

Secret to Doing Dreaded Tasks Mindfully

By: Gloria Marie

mindful, mindfulness, divorce the divorce, single happy strong

We all have some tasks or chores that we dread to do. It maybe you worked all day and are exhausted, but, your family is waiting for you to cook dinner. Or it a beautiful Saturday morning and you would love to play golf, but, instead you must mow the grass. Can you think of a time something similar applied to you? Usually the problem is we do not stay in the present moment. Our minds are racing to the future and wishing our time could be spent in another way. There is a secret to doing dreaded tasks mindfully.

The secret is just that: do the dreaded tasks mindfully. Stay in the present moment and give it your complete attention. The jobs will get done quicker and you could find peace and solace in the present moment. We can spend so much energy resisting instead of surrendering.

Surrender to the present moment do not resist it.

When my boys were young, I was starting up a business. If you have ever done that, it takes more time and more money than even the most conservative business plan projected. The boys school was 30 -40 minutes from my office. After working all day, I would rush to pick them up, silently hoping that I would not be the last Mother at pick up. Then I would drive home and make dinner. I dreaded cooking dinner. I was tired and just wanted to relax.

My spiritual teacher at the time suggested I turn that cooking time into a time of prayer and meditation. Instead of dreading and resisting, figure a way to make it relaxing and contemplative. So, on Sundays, I would sit down and plan all the menus for the week. I challenged myself to try new recipes and I would go to the store and buy all the groceries needed. In time, it worked. Cooking dinner was relaxing and meditative to me. To this day, when I have had a crazy day, I love to cook a meal.

The other day I was speaking with a family member and I inquired about her parents. They just had a huge snow storm late in the season. She said her Dad was happy for the snow because it gave him one more chance to shovel the long driveway. Instead of dreading what could be an unpleasant task, he relished the solitude and considered it a meditation. He would shovel zig zags and other designs in the snow instead of shoveling straight boring lines.

There is a wonderful little book titled, “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence. Brother Lawrence was a monk in the Carmelite Order in the 1600’s. He disliked cooking and being in the kitchen. Well, as you could probably guess, that was his job, to wash dishes. Brother Lawrence, felt he was just as close to God while in the kitchen as when he was attending mass in church. He spent his time while washing dishes in prayer and communication with God.

We are all creative human beings. Next time that dreaded task needs to be done, think creatively on how to make it a special, meditative time for you. Find solace in the situation and surrender to the moment.

Breathing Exercise for Anxiety

By: Gloria Marie

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Breathing is fundamental to our life and usually taken for granted. With every breath, you take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide. You inhale a life force and exhale a waste product. Proper breathing techniques can release tension, stress, muscle tension and fatigue. Typically, there are two types of breathing patterns: chest breathing and abdominal breathing. We commonly use chest breath when we are under stress. It is shallow breathing. The chest expands and the shoulder rise to take in air. In abdominal breathing, inhaled air is drawn deep into the lungs as the abdomen expands. By becoming aware of your breathing patterns and shifting to more abdominal breathing, you can reduce stress related symptoms and muscle tension. Try this breathing exercise for anxiety.

Let’s discover how you currently breathe before we practice abdominal breathing. Put one hand on your abdomen and one hand on your chest. Observe your breath without trying to change it. Spend a few minutes just quietly observing. Take your time. Which hand rises more as you breathe? If it the hand on your chest, you are doing shallow chest breathing. If the hand on your abdomen is rising more, you are doing deep abdominal breathing. Our goal is to switch to abdominal breathing more.

To practice abdominal breathing, lie on your back on the floor, a bed or couch, whatever is most comfortable for you. Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your abdomen. Imagine that your abdomen is a balloon and that as you inhale you are filling it up with air. Try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. As you inhale, first your abdomen, then your middle chest and then your upper chest will expand in a smooth movement. Imagine filling a glass with water from the bottom to the top. Try to practice this a few minutes, until your inhale and exhale are smooth movements. When you have the technique, try doing it while sitting and standing. Try to practice this once or twice a day until it becomes naturally and flowing to you. As with most of the tools, it is best practiced in a non-stressful situation before you incorporate it into a fearful situation.

The following is a specific way to breath to release tension. You will use you abdominal breathing in a specific way. It is time to take it up a notch.
1. Inhale and say to yourself, “Breath in.” It is not necessary to put your hands on your chest and abdomen, unless you find that helpful.
2. Hold your breath a moment before your exhale.
3. exhale slowly and deeply as you say to yourself, “Relax.”
4. As you hold your breath for a moment, notice any parts of your body that you are holding tension. When you exhale, feel the tension leave your body.
5. Practice tis for five to ten minutes as a time.
6. Practice it in non-stressful situations a few times a day. When you are comfortable with the technique, practice it in stressful situations.

Watch the video and together we will practice this technique with soothing music in the background.

Spring is a Time of Renewal

By: Gloria Marie

spring equinox, divorce, divorce advice, single happy strong

There is so much written to “stay fully present.” That is a simple concept but usually difficult to adhere to day in and day out. However, there is only now. We can choose to worry about the future and those worries may never come to fruition. We can carry the past with us and part of that past might be bitterness, forgiveness, and hurt. Spring is a time of renewal and a fantastic time to shed and cut the emotional baggage from your past.

If we look at nature; birds and animals shed their fur and feathers in the spring. They are casting off the old and receiving the new. Native Americans called March the “weak month” because of the inactivity in animal and man, which always prevails when this power is recuperating, and renewing. It is perfect time of year for us to release what we would like to shed from the past. By releasing the past, we can live more fully in the present. We can be unburdened.

Carrying past unfinished business is a drain on our emotional and physical being. It can be likened to carrying credit card debt. The ever-increasing interest rate goes on and on. Why continue to carry that weight forward? Be free of past hurts and then you can renew the possibilities of your life in the present. Your energy is free and you are healed.

What debt are you carrying? Whom do you need to forgive? It could be yourself that you need to forgive. Let’s cut that debt and feel free. Peace and freedom are the doorway to happiness. Practice the Law of Forgiveness and give up the need to punish the people who hurt you. Unless you are willing to forgive, how can you be forgiven?

Pray for guidance and help. Say silently to the person that you need to release or forgive,

“I send to you the fullness of the Divine Love of my Being to bless and prosper you.”

Happy Spring! Wishing you peace, love and light.

If you need help releasing the past, try coaching with Gloria. Click the link for information.

Discover Your Gold Mine

By: Gloria Marie

gold mine, mindfulness.daydreams, divorce advice, single, happy strong,

This is a from I book I am writing on dealing with fears. This is Chapter One, Discover Your Gold Mine.

We carry a gold mine with us all day long. It is at our disposable whenever we want to access it. Would your day have been different if you knew you had a gold mine with you? Our gold mine is our sub-conscious mind. It never sleeps, it does not judge and has no ego. It oversees our organs. It is what keeps us breathing at night. It never sleeps. The sub-conscious mind is our imagination, our intuition. It is what is aligned with God, Infinite Intelligence or the Universe.

Our mind has two spheres: the conscious and sub-conscious mind. The conscious mind is our ego. It is that chatter that we hear in our head all day long. Most of the chatter is negative. It is the sphere of our human mind that sees life as it is. It sees death, disaster, sickness, and limitation. It is that voice in your head that says: “You really think you can be successful? You are not good enough.” The conscious mind rules logic, judgement, and reason.

The conscious mind is the “Gate” to the sub-conscious mind. Whatever your conscious mind chooses to believe and focus on, the sub-conscious mind will accept it and bring it to pass. This is fantastic news because you can choose your thoughts. You can choose thoughts of limitation, fear of failure, fear of poverty, or fear of being alone. Or, you can choose thoughts of love, happiness, or abundance. This is your gold mind because if you learn to control your thoughts, you can change your life. Your mind does not control you.

Have you ever had a problem to think about before you went to sleep at night and in the morning, you knew the answer. This happens to me if I lose something. I will think about it before I go to sleep and in the morning, I know exactly where to find it. This is your sub-conscious mind at work during the night. It is open to a source much greater than ourselves. It is our Infinite Intelligences.

Your sub-consious mind it the book of your life. You have the power to rewrite the blueprint of you mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Man is what he thinks about all day long.” This is one of the most important principals to conquering your fears. You can and will learn to expect the best.

The conscious mind is the mind of the body. It remembers all our victories and our failures in this lifetime. It sees restriction. The conscious mind grows old and dislikes change. That is our ego. The sub-conscious mind is the mind of spirit. It sees endless possibilities. It has no limitations because it is aligned with God.

Think of a garden. It is filled with beautiful flowers, but, sometimes weeds grow in your garden. You have the power to water the seeds of peace, harmony, love and health in your garden. Also, the power to pull out any weeds. By learning to control your thoughts, you can reap a harvest and control your fears to move confidently in life. You can pull out the weeds of fear and limitation.

Morning Practice
“By first becoming aware of my thoughts, I can learn to control them.”
What would you like to bring into your life? What flowers would you like to water and grow? Write down three things you would like to bring into your life.

What weeds would you like to pull out of your life? Write down three fears you would like to remove from your life.

During the day, when your thoughts become fearful, try to remember the three “flowers” you would like. Imagine the happy ending or solution to your fears.

Remember, our thoughts become things.

Affirmation – I am not my thoughts.
You are an incredible human being with many talents and excellent qualities. Our ego tries to tell us otherwise. When the ego begins go talk to you today, say today’s affirmation.

Evening Practice
Spend a few minutes relaxing, then, get out your journal. Draw a large circle that will represent your mind. Draw lines from the circle and write some thoughts from your day. What was your mind telling you today? Were the thoughts mainly positive or negative? If there were negative thoughts, write a positive thought next to it. Remember we are beginning to program our sub-conscious mind with thoughts of possibilities.

What could you have done differently today to control your thoughts? Did you remember to use your affirmation?

Do not be hard on yourself, change will take patience and time. First comes awareness and then change.

Pick one positive thought and write it on an index card. Put it next to your pillow. Before you go to sleep tonight, silently say it to yourself.

Expect the best!

Find the Blessing

By: Gloria Marie

find the blessings, gloria pierson, single happy strong,

This week, I was finally able to venture out. It has been about four weeks since I broke my foot and had surgery. Other than doctor’s appointments, I have been inside my house. The sky never looked so beautiful and the fresh air felt wonderful. I felt like a child experiencing things for the very first time. Out of every challenge we have, there is always a blessing and a silver lining. Finding the blessing, may not always be apparent at first.

With every challenge in life, whether it is with relationships, career, financial or health, we can make the decision to grow and become stronger and happier through it or we can become bitter, angry and resentful. The choice is up to us. Challenges will come in life. They do not just happen to “those people” over there. They come to you, your family and friends. Try to find the “gift” in the challenge. It could help you become closer to God. It could help you find a spiritual practice that will allow you to soar to new heights. It could slow you down and force you to find your Inner Voice and Inner Strength.

With the four weeks that I was confined to my house, I was forced to slow down. I took up some hobbies that I use to enjoy and found they brought me joy. I read and watched Netflix. I had one dear friend come over every week and bring lunch. We spent time just talking and visiting. My sister and her husband fixed me dinner every night and did all the countless things I was unable to do.

The kindness I received was incredible and there was a blessing in that. It helped the healing process. When I did go out, the kindness from strangers was amazing. Strangers that I may ordinally just passed by, now smiled at me and my crutches. People wished me well, opened doors for me and gave encouraging words about healing. It was a blessing to feel so much love.

The next time you face a difficulty, try to find the blessing. We are not always dealt a perfect hand, but, we do have a choice on how we deal with it. Find the strength and grow from every challenge.