Tag Archives: help for midlife crisis

It is Alright to Say No

By: Gloria Marie

midlife crisis, midlife crisis women, gloria pierson

Setting boundaries can be difficult in some areas of our lives. You may have no trouble with boundaries at work or with your children. How about boundaries with your family members or with friends? Or most important; boundaries with yourself? It is essential to be aware of and establish personal boundaries with ourselves, only then can we set boundaries with others. I equate it to the oxygen mask on planes. The flight attendant says, “Place the mask over your face before placing the mask with any children you are traveling with”.  Sometimes, it is alright to say no to demands on your time.

If we begin with ourselves then, it will be easier to establish other boundaries in our lives. By doing this you will empower yourself and become more confident. This will give you self-fulfillment and then you can freely give of yourself to others: your children, your family, and your friends. It is like putting gas in the tank of your car. If there is no gas, the car stops. If “your tank” is empty, it is hard to lead a happy, peaceful life.

Sometimes we feel guilty for doing things for ourselves or taking time for ourselves. There are all the “shoulda’” and “have to dos”. We get stuck in routines at work and at home. We go on autopilot and before we know it, we are exhausted and drained.

This exercise it to create a personal boundary.

1. Pick something that you enjoy doing: meditating, playing music, exercising, or reading. Have it something you look forward to doing, not something that is guilt driven.
2. Schedule this activity for 30 minutes to 1 hour each day for the next week. Put it on your calendar.
3. If you have children or roommates, put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door. This is your special time to renew and refresh your soul.

By empowering yourself to do this, it will carry over into other parts of your life.

What did your put into your schedule?