“Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”
These wise words from Eckhart Tolle are important to remember while in the dating process. We all want love and companionship from other human being, but, love is deep within us. Sometimes it may be hidden, but, it cannot be taken away from us. Dating will have its ups and its downs; just like life. When you are stood up for the first time, it can hurt. You may try to internalize the experience. You may try to relive the last time you spoke. Stop all the chatter in your mind and grow from yet another dating experience. This is how I deal with dating and being stood up.
There was a man I met on an online dating site. We went out for about 5 dates and had good times. He asked me out for New Year’s Eve and I thought, “Great!” It had been several years; yes several, since I had a date for New Year’s Eve. December 30 he texted me and asked what I was doing the next evening. I responded, “Going out with you, I thought we had plans.” Well, that night, the next day and the next evening: no call and no text message. I choose not to call him and I never heard from him again.
Of course, my mind initially created so many scenarios and finally, I decided, it did not matter what the circumstances were. All that mattered was my reaction to them. I could have gotten angry. Anger could be a very logical response. But, who would my anger hurt the most? Me! Instead, every time I would feel hurt or anger, I would say, “I wish him much happiness”. I continued to repeat this until the hurt and anger were gone. I do hope he is happy and I do know for sure, he would not be for me!
Next time someone hurts you, wish them the best. And remember as Eckhart Tolle says, “Love is deep within you and cannot leave you.”
Have you ever been stood up? How did you react?