Tag Archives: happy

Dating and Being Stood Up

By: Gloria Marie

 

“Love is a state of Being.  Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.  You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”

-Eckhart Tolle

These wise words from Eckhart Tolle are important to remember while in the dating process.  We all want love and companionship from other human being, but, love is deep within us.  Sometimes it may be hidden, but, it cannot be taken away from us. Dating will have its ups and its downs; just like life.  When you are stood up for the first time, it can hurt.  You may try to internalize the experience. You may try to relive the last time you spoke. Stop all the chatter in your mind and grow from yet another dating experience.  This is how I deal with dating and being stood up.

There was a man I met on an online dating site.  We went out for about 5 dates and had good times.  He asked me out for New Year’s Eve and I thought, “Great!”   It had been several years; yes several, since I had a date for New Year’s Eve.   December 30 he texted me and asked what I was doing the next evening.  I responded, “Going out with you, I thought we had plans.”  Well, that night, the next day and the next evening: no call and no text message.  I choose not to call him and I never heard from him again.

Of course, my mind initially created so many scenarios and finally, I decided, it did not matter what the circumstances were. All that mattered was my reaction to them.  I could have gotten angry. Anger could be a very logical response.  But, who would my anger hurt the most?  Me! Instead, every time I would feel hurt or anger, I would say, “I wish him much happiness”.  I continued to repeat this until the hurt and anger were gone.  I do hope he is happy and I do know for sure, he would not be for me!

Next time someone hurts you, wish them the best.  And remember as Eckhart Tolle says, “Love is deep within you and cannot leave you.”

 

Have you ever been stood up?  How did you react?

 

 

 

Techniques to Ground Yourself

By: Gloria Marie

Try these simple techniques to ground yourself and become more present in the moment. These techniques can help you feel less scattered and more focused.

Kind Meditation

By: Gloria Marie

Some days, I find it a little more difficult to meditate. On those days, I prefer to use a guided meditation. One of my favorite mediation apps is Buddify2.  It is easy to navigate and has a wonderful variety of meditations to choose from.  They have meditations for feeling stressed, going to sleep, in nature and many, many more.  They meditations also vary in length.  I love the “Kind” meditation.

Today there was a lunar eclipse.  As a cancer, lunar phases seem to affect me. This lunar eclipse made me feel anxious, so, I thought I needed to take the emphasis off of “me” and put my energy into others. I needed to get out of my own head and connect with others.  So, I chose the Buddify 2 “Kind” meditation.  This is my version of the “Kind” Meditation.

The steps for the Meditation:

  1. Take a few minutes to sit still and take a few deep breaths.
  2. Think about someone you love or have affection for. The first person that comes to mind, is probably the one you want to direct your energy to. Silently repeat the following phrase while visualizing this person in your mind. “I wish you love and happiness”. Repeat this phrase silently for a few minutes.  Then, picture your heart surrounded by beautiful pink light. Visualize this light growing and growing. Surround the person you are thinking about with this beautiful pink light, from your heart to theirs.
  3. Choose a second person that you love or have affection for. Repeat the above. Silently repeating,” I wish you love and happiness”.  Then visualize the beautiful pink light from your heart to theirs.
  4. Now repeat the above on yourself. Silently repeat, “I wish you love and happiness”. Then visualize your entire body surrounded with pink light.
  5. Take a few deep breaths and slowly open your eyes.

Did you feel more relaxed?

Time for New Beginnings!

By: Gloria Marie

 

During my divorce, I went from a home with a husband, 2 sons and a dog to being all myself. The weekend would come and I would have the pain of being all alone. I knew it was time to start over. A time for new beginnings! The big question was: “Now what am I going to do?” This could be true for the ending of a relationship as well.

I approached it as starting over, with a clean slate. My outlook remained positive and I began to focus on all the things I did not make time for while I was married and raising my children. At night and on the weekends there were no more soccer game to attend or school projects that needed completion. Grocery shopping and dinner time were also streamlined.

In order to get started, I asked myself the following questions:
1. If you could do anything today, what would it be?
2. What sparks your creativity?
3. What do you like to read about?
4. What activities engage your whole heart?
5. What thrills or excites you?

Gradually, I had a blueprint for my new life. It included getting a job, taking tennis lessons, learning to knit, and doing volunteer work. I also made an effort to be out and about to meet more single friends and of course, did online dating. There are some weekends I am still alone and wish I had a partner to share the time with, but, my life is now enriched and happy.

Some suggestions for new opportunities:
1. Start a business
2. Go back to school
3. Take art classes
4. Join a gym
5. Do crafts on your dining room table
6. Read all those books you never had time for
7. Take cooking classes
8. Take dancing lessons
9. Do a Netflix marathon

The most important thing, is to stay positive and try something.

What worked for you?

One Thing That Makes Life Better

By: Gloria Marie

midlife crisis, midlife crisis women, gloria pierson

 

The one thing that makes life better is gratitude. Our words carry tremendous energy. Living and feeling with a sense of lack in your life, you are going to create more lack. By focusing on gratitude and the many wonderful gifts you are given every day, you will surround yourself with more positive energy and bring more joy into your life.

Before my feet touch the floor in the morning, I thank God for another day.  It is not only the obvious things to be grateful for, but, also the not so obvious things.  Did someone smile at you today? Did you see the sky today? Did you have clean water to drink?  Some days it may be difficult to find something to be grateful for, we all have days like that.  But, on days like that it is even more important to change your energy and find something to be grateful for. Try to expand the feeling throughout your body and heart. In difficult times being grateful will change your perspective and it will allow more happiness in your life.

On the mirror in my bathroom, I have an index card with the following saying, “I am grateful for what I have and I welcome all the gifts this day will bring”. Isn’t that a beautiful way to start a day?

Try this experiment this week:

  1. Get a journal or a sheet of paper.
  2. Write down 10 things that you are grateful for.
  3. Commit to an action plan and read the list them out loud every day for a week.
  4. At the end of each day, try to add 3 more items to your list.
  5. Continue saying them out loud.

How did you feel at the end of the week?  Gratitude is the one thing that can make life better.

 

 

 

 

 

Listening to Your Inner Rhythms

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single happy strong, divorce the divorce

 

 

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week for Sensational Sunday we will discuss how to listen to your inner rhythms.

“Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.”

-Ancient Indian Proverb

Do you know what captures your heart?  We get so caught up in our day to day routines, that it is easy to ignore or forget what captures our heart.  To hear our inner voice, our inner guidance we must have peace and trust in ourselves.  This week’s exercise will help you find your inner rhythms.  This is a wonderful way to ground ourselves.

The Exercise

Go an entire day without a watch or without looking at a clock.

Spend the entire day listening to your “inner rhythms”.   Eat when you are hungry. Sleep if you are tired. Reset your body and your routine.

Try to incorporate the following into this day:

  1. Light a candle and sit in silence.
  2. Read something inspirational.
  3. Go for a walk.

By being in touch with our innermost self we create happiness in our lives and in our relationships with others.

Journal at the end of this day.

Some questions to ask yourself.

  1. What did this day look like for you?
  2. What inspires you?
  3. What empowers you?
  4. What motivates you?
  5. What drives you?
  6. What makes you smile?
  7. What can you not live without?
  8. What incorrect beliefs do you have?
  9. What did you learn from this?
  10. What is the positive in this experience?

Did you find your inner rhythm?

 

 

 

 

4 Steps to Building Confidence

By: Gloria Marie

 

Sensational Sunday

4 Steps to Building Confidence

Every Sensational Sunday we will suggest an exercise to help you begin a shift in your life.  Confidence is something we all struggle with at some points in our lives.  Transitions in life can rattle our confidence.  Change from loss of friendships, job insecurity, financial struggles can all shake our confidence. Today we will discuss 4 ways to build and increase your confidence.  This week, try implementing at least one of these in your life.

  1. Take a risk – It can be something small to start with. You do not have to climb a mountain or jump out of a plane to take a risk. I had one client that wanted to start dating and was not sure how to begin.  For one of his assignments, I had him ask someone out for coffee.  Very simple.  I told him to go with no expectations other than enjoy meeting someone new.  That is it!  This week pick one small risk to take.
  2. Do not seek approval from others – You do not have to have everyone “like” you or “approve” of your behavior. We are all unique human beings. How boring our world would be if we were all similar. If you are uncomfortable with this, spend some time sitting quietly to access your inner wisdom.
  3. Learn something new – Challenge yourself to learn something new or improve a current skill you have already developed. Maybe it is to take tennis or golf lessons?  Learn to knit or sew.  YouTube has many videos that can help you enhance these skills.
  4. Exercise – This is so important to do at least several days a week. During really stressful times, exercising on a daily basis is almost vital.  Of course, check with your Doctor to find an exercise program that is appropriate for you.  Exercise will help you look better and feel better.  com says that exercise helps the body release the chemicals called endorphins. They trigger a positive feeling in the body.  Exercise has proven to reduce stress, ward off anxiety, boast self-esteem and improve sleep.  At the very least, go for a short walk.

Which of these ideas did you try?

 

 

Books for Inspiration

By: Gloria Marie

Reading can help develop a range of social skills and awareness.  Reading helps you develop insights into yourself or insights on the next steps you want to take in your life. I believe in reading all sorts of material.  If you normally read fiction books, try a non-fiction book. Try reading a different newspaper. Even if you do not agree with the viewpoints, you may learn something new or discover something about yourself. Today I will suggest a few books to read for inspiration.

Psychology Today cited a study:  the average home has 2.86 television sets. That is 18% higher than the year 2000 and 43% higher than in 1990. There are more televisions then people per home.  Tonight maybe try to watch a little less TV and pick up a book to read.

Listed below are 4 books that I enjoy:

  1. “The Precious Present” by Spencer Johnson, M.D. – This is a 79 page book that is simple to read, but, has a beautiful, inspiring story. As the cover says, “It is more than a book – it is a profound message that can help you be happy with yourself and your life forever”. This is a book you will want to give as a gift and read many times over.
  2. “Falling into Grace: insights on the end of suffering” by Adyashanti. He asks us to let go of our struggles with life and open to the full promise of spiritual awakening: the end of delusion and the discovery of our essential being. This book provides simple teachings to stop the thoughts that perpetuate our suffering.
  3. “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times” by Pema Chodron. – This is useful advice about how Buddhism helps the reader cope with realties of modern life – including fear, despair, and rage. Pema approach involves moving toward painful situations with friendliness and curiosity.
  4. “Secrets of Attraction” by Sandra Anne Taylor. The author reveals how the Universal Laws actually direct the course of your relationship destiny. Your energy is the center of all you attract. You will discover what make up your personal energy field and how it impacts your relationships.

Is there a book you would like to recommend?

Coping with Change

By: Gloria Marie

Coping with Change

Calm waters

Most of us fear change and have difficulty coping with change. We get comfortable in our daily routines: work, our home, and even our eating habits. There is a certain security in the sameness of our lives. When I was training my lab, the breeder said to me, “Dogs like the same things every day, they do not like change”. We are not much different. So today we are going to discuss doing a week of firsts!

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw of the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover”

-Mark Twain

How many times has someone asked you to do something different and your first answer was “no”.  The “no” probably came out before you even gave yourself time for a proper answer. For example, a friend asks you to go kayaking.  You think: what will the weather be like, I do not know how to do that, and I won’t have time to clean my house if I go.  Sound familiar.  This week try to say “Yes” when you ordinarily would say no.

By saying yes more often, you break from routine patterns.  Trying to say yes to small changes will prepare you for big changes in your life.  And, you will have big changes in your life that is just the way it is.

This week try to do a “first” everyday. Of course, you cannot quit your job, leave your home or escape your responsibilities, but, you can incorporate some small “firsts” this week.  Look at some examples below.

“Firsts”

1. Say “yes” to a new experience instead of “no”

2. Try a different method of exercise.  If you go to a gym, take a new class.

3. For lunch, try a new restaurant. If you bring your lunch to work, bring a salad instead of a sandwich.

  1. Reading – if you read fiction, try a non-fiction book.

5. Music – change channels to a different type of music.

6. Take a different route to work.

 

Now, these are just suggestions, experiment and have fun!

 

 

 

Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

 Tip # 18 More Dating Tips

wine horizon

 If you are recently divorced or separated, be patient with yourself and with dating.  Please remember, it is ok to make mistakes.  This is new territory- you have not had a rehearsal for this. You will make dating mistakes: going out with a person not right for you, saying the wrong thing, and wearing the wrong outfit are some examples.  It is also possible that you will be intimate with someone and then sorry you were. You are human; do not be hard on yourself. Be safe, but, realize there will be missteps.

3 More Dating Tips:

  1. Texting.  There are some men that copy and paste the same texts to multiple women. If the texts are general, “What are you doing tonight?” and last minute, be cautious.  Do not text back and see it he sends another text.  If not, sorry, but, someone else answered his text and he has moved on.  Or text back, “I would love to get together sometime, why don’t you call me tomorrow.”
  2. When meeting someone for the first time from an on-line site, keep the date short.  If I am meeting someone for a drink at 5:00 or 6:00, I do not plan to have dinner with them.  After we talk for about an hour, I usually say, “This has been great and I enjoyed meeting you, but, I promised to meet some friends for dinner”.   If you enjoy each other’s company plan to meet again.  Of course, do not be too rigid in dating.  Sometimes, you may meet someone and want to spend the entire evening with them.  In that case, go for it!
  3. Singles in America research found that 60% of people check their phone at least once on a date.  Turn off your phone or put it on silence.  The person you are meeting deserves your full attention and vise versa you deserve their full attention too!

Where is your favorite place to meet on a first date?