Tag Archives: happiness

Happiness is an Inside Job

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce women, divorce the divorce, divorce advice

You could have the greatest job in the world, the most beautiful home, enough money to meet all your needs and desires, but, still be unhappy. Happiness is an inside job. The material world may provide you with joy, but, it is fleeting.

So how can you have that interior happiness? That happiness that cannot be taken away from you? It first begins by becoming aware of our thoughts. There is a learning curve with this. Are most of your thoughts positive, compassionate and loving? Or are they negative and fatalistic?

We can train our thoughts and thereby train our minds. If we practice new ways of thinking we can reshape our cells and the way the brain works. There have been many, many scientific studies that prove this.

Change takes time and patience. There are different methods to help you do this. But, what is needed is a commitment for you to change. Sometimes we are more comfortable with “our illness”, “our financial mess”, or “our unhappy job.”

Try this experiment. For one day, every time a negative thought comes into your mind, write it down. You may be very surprised at the number of negative thoughts you have. Again, first becomes awareness and then change.

Next to each of the negative thoughts, write down how you could change it to make it more positive. Start reshaping those cells in your brain. Our sub-conscious mind does whatever we tell it to do. It has no ego and follows our directions.

Another method for happiness is being compassionate and forgiving towards others. This is really difficult if someone you love, hurt and betrayed you. Again, I did not say it would be easy or quick to find inner peace and happiness.

Another method is prayer and a spiritual practice. Carve out some time every day, even 15 minutes can make a difference.

You deserve to be happy. Cultivate inner happiness. It cannot be taken away from you. It is time well spent.

Make Today a Day to Practice Kindness

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorced moms, divorce the divorce

We all have a story. We all are dealing with a lot in our day to day lives. Do you remember the last time someone did something kind for you? Did it make your day? It probably has put a smile on your face just thinking about it. Why not make today a day to practice kindness? Check out my ideas below.

1. Smile at a stranger. – While you are waiting in a grocery store line instead of standing there impatiently, smile at someone. It might be the only smile they get that day. It will change your energy and you may be surprised at the effect all around you.
2. Giveaway thanks. – Make a call to someone to thank them for something they did for you. It does not have to be something recent. Surprise them, that you still remember the kindness they showed you.
3. Give someone your time. – We lead busy lives and our time is precious. But, think of someone who would love to get a phone call from you or someone that you could visit. It might be an elderly neighbor that does not get many visitors.
4. Tell someone you love them. – When was the last time you told your partner, your children, your siblings or your close friends that you love them? Well, make today the day! They will love hearing from you, but, I can guarantee will feel great.
5. Give someone an unexpected gift. – It does not have to be anything expensive, stay within your means. Use your creative mind to think of something. I once read a story about a young girl at a bank counter making her car payment. The elderly women behind her, heard the girl say that she had only one more car payment after this. After the girl left, the elderly women made the last payment unanimously.

Today, I urge you to practice kindness.

Divorce the Divorce

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorce the divorce, divorced women, divorced

Divorce the Divorce: a 52 Step Journey to Unlimited Happiness

My eBook, “Divorce the Divorce; a 52 Step Journey to Unlimited Happiness will be released on Amazon on Sunday, May 17.

Next week I will be offering a FREE download on Amazon for a few days.  Look back for the details.  Below is an excerpt from the book.

Amazon Link for Book

 Learn to love you: the incredible, amazing human being that you are. It is time to stop the negative self-talk and negative thinking. It is time to treat yourself with the same love and respect that you give others. An analogy for this is the oxygen masks on airplanes. We have all heard that speech many times. “If you are traveling with young children, put the mask on yourself first before you place the mask over the child’s face.” You must learn to love yourself before you can give unconditional love to another. This involves taking the time and energy to do special things for yourself and also to be aware of your thoughts.

We become what we think about. Positive, loving thoughts will attract positive loving things into your life, just like a magnet attracts metal. When we go through a divorce or through other life changes, it is easy to go to a very dark, sad place. It happens little by little and then one day, it seems that there is no joy or happiness in your life. If you are willing to change your thoughts, you can change your life.

Learning to love yourself is a miracle cure. How many times a day do you treat yourself without love? Do any of the following resonate with you?

I have negative thoughts.

I feel unlovable.

I live my life fearful of the future.

I compare myself to others.

I settle for less – in relationships and in salaries.

I criticize myself.

I feel I am not enough.

Make the decision today to start loving yourself. Change your thoughts. Instead of saying” I am not enough,” say “I love myself exactly as I am.” Instead of “I am fearful of the future,” say, “I place my trust in God.” By becoming aware of your thoughts, you can begin changing them. It takes time and practice. That tape in your head has been with you a long time. But with a commitment to change, you can. Then gradually you will see things falling into place; you will have more joy and happiness in your life. Fear will be replaced by faith. There is no cost to do this, so, why not try it for the next week.

Activity

  1. Do something special for yourself this week. Maybe it is taking the time for a long bath, reading a favorite book, watching a movie, or maybe it is just relaxing on the couch.
  2. Pick one day this week to become aware of your thoughts. Keep a notebook or paper next to you throughout the day. When a negative thought arises, write it down. At the end of the day re-write those thoughts in positive terms. Write your “new” thoughts on an index card. Repeat them morning, noon, and night for the rest of the week.

Journal

Name some other “special” things you can do for yourself.

Did repeating the positive thoughts make a difference in your life this week? How did it make you feel?

What can you do to be aware of your thoughts in the future?

Mid-Week Delight

Sweep your front porch. If you do not have a front porch,

clean your entrance way and doorway.

 This is a cleansing ritual that helps to move around energy.

Pre-Order Book on Amazon

divorce the divorce, divorce advice, divorced women, single women, single happy strong

3 Ways to Increase Your Happiness

By: Gloria Marie

happiness, divorce, divorced women, single women

We can bring more happiness into our lives by controlling our thoughts. We live in our minds. Our thoughts go on and on and on. More than likely, most of our thoughts are somewhat negative and our thoughts are usually not in the present moment. We regret the past and worry about the future. Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo in her book, “Into the Heart of Life”, says: “Genuine happiness comes from the heart. It comes from a mind which has become more stable, more present in the moment.” Try the following 3 ways to increase your happiness.

Meditation is a great way to control your mind and your thoughts. But, it may not always be appropriate for you to sit in silence. If you are at your desk at work or in a hospital room comforting a loved one, meditation may be a little difficult. I make an effort every day to bring more happiness into my life using the techniques below.

1. Staying in the Present Moment – Stand up and firmly place your feet on the ground, shoulder width apart. Make sure your posture is erect. Spend a few moments taking deep breaths while focusing on your feet planted firmly on the earth. Actually imagine the earth supporting you.
2. Gratitude – Write down 10 things that you are grateful for. Read them out loud.
3. Be Aware of your Thoughts – Be mindful of critical thoughts. Try to become aware of them and begin to stop doing this. In order to do this create a “Put Downs Worksheet.” Take a sheet of paper. On the left side of the paper write the days Monday through Sunday. On the right side at the top of the page write, “Situation – Put Down.” Every day this week, when a situation comes up and you find yourself criticizing yourself, write it down. First is awareness and then you can begin to change the behavior.

This week:
What resource or tool could you begin doing in order to bring more happiness into your life?

Cut Those Toxic Ties

By: Gloria Marie

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Toxic relationships can poison your life.  Would you put toxic chemicals in your body? More than likely, you try to avoid them.  Toxic relationships drain your time, your energy, and your self-esteem.  You know when you are in this type of relationship. You may feel tired, mistreated, and give more than you receive.  These relationships can be with a lover, a friend, a family member or an ex-husband.  Make 2015 the year you begin to recognize and cut those toxic ties.

Recently, I cut a toxic tie with a friend. He continually disappointed me and I allowed it. It took one last huge disappointment and I said enough! I would no longer tolerate this type of treatment.  I kept hoping for a change that may never occur and the only one suffering was me. Once I made that decision and performed my burn ritual, I felt more in control of my life.

What you tolerate will happen again and again.  It is like watching a movie or reading a book and hoping for a different ending.  That is not going to happen. Releasing this type of relationship requires courage. It is not your fault that you are in a relationship of this type. But, you can do something about it because there is a huge cost.

  1. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship ask yourself who or what are you stuck to?
  2. If it is a romantic relationship, do you believe that you do not deserve real love?
  3. Set healthy boundaries and do not feel guilty about it. Or you may have to avoid contact all together.
  4. Ask yourself, what difference would it make in your life if this energy drainer was out of your life?

Have the courage to release.  Do not tolerate mistreatment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Follow Your Dreams with These 5 Steps

By: Gloria Marie

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This is my first blog for 2015 and what a better way to start a New Year than by planning to follow and manifest your dreams. Make this a year to plan step by step, to not give up, and to take at least one small step everyday towards your dream. The Universe will support you, if, you put forth an effort and stay consistent with clear intentions. Give it a try, you can do it. Follow your dreams with these 5 steps.

Your dreams can take many forms. Is it a new job, a relationship, a new hobby, a dream trip, more love, or more abundance? After my divorce, I was lost and really not sure which direction to go. I needed and wanted a new career and followed the steps below. The important point is to not give up. I eventually found a career that I love and that is making a difference in the world. But, it was not a direct route. It was like going from Florida to New York by way of Dallas and Chicago. I trusted that all the detours were part of the master plan to prepare me for the ideal career.

Try these 5 steps to Follow Your Dreams

1. Have very clear intentions of what you want to manifest. It might help to write them down or journal about them. Say them out loud. Put that energy into the Universe.
2. Stay positive and feel good about your intentions.
3. Believe that it will happen with your whole being.
4. Remain flexible. Like I said above, it may not be a direct route, but, have faith that you are being prepared.
5. Stay confident that hidden forces are at work to help you manifest your dreams. Do not worry. Do not have fear, replace fear with confidence and love.

Go for it! What do you want to manifest in 2015? Start today!

5 Ways to Deal with Holiday Stress

By: Gloria Marie

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This is an easy time of year to overburden ourselves.  I was thinking about all the additional things I was putting in my schedule: holiday parties, baking, decorating, gift purchases and holiday dinners.  This list, of course, is in addition to my everyday obligations with work and my home life. I decided in order to really enjoy the holidays and spend time with my family, I would only schedule things that really mattered to me and I would not worry if the holidays weren’t perfect.  When my holiday decorations came down from the attic, I looked at all the boxes and decided that is was not important to put out every decoration and that it was ok that my outside bushes did not have lights. I decided to take some time for myself with the 5 ways to deal with holiday stress listed below.

5 Ways to Deal with Holiday Stress

  1.  Breathe. Does this sound too simple? It is simple, but, it works.  Stand up with your feet flat on the floor.  Place you hand on your stomach, take 5 deep breaths, and feel your stomach go in and out while you breathe.
  2. Develop a spiritual practice. Throughout the holiday season, try to spend at least 5 minutes every day in a spiritual practice. Try meditation, prayer, inspirational reading, or some time in silence. The important point it to practice it consistently.
  3. Humor. A good laugh does our soul good.  Watch a funny movie, read cartoons or read a humorous book.
  4. Exercise. There are many studies that show that exercise reduces stress and helps you sleep better.  At the very least, go for a walk.
  5. Gratitude is very powerful. Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for. Try to stop and do this whenever you feel stressful.

Which of these did you try?

6 Ways to Stay Joyful

By: Gloria Marie

gold mine, mindfulness.daydreams, divorce advice, single, happy strong,

 

What was the first thing you did when you woke up this morning? Maybe said a prayer for having another day on this magnificent earth? Did you feel joyful and excited about your day? Finding joy and living a joy-filled life allows you to shine.  Joy is a true internal feeling that is not affected by life’s up and downs.  It differs from happiness which is more external.  You won the lottery, you feel happiness. This is not to say that you will always be joyful, but, by cultivating joy, you will be joyful more frequently. Here are my six ways to stay joyful.

I practice these steps, not every day, but, most days.  If I am going through a more challenging period in my life, I make it a habit to integrate these actions in my life.  Let your soul shine through with joy, it will help everyone around you feel better.

6 Ways to Stay Joyful

  1. Be grateful. A practice that includes gratitude allows you to dwell on the positive aspects in your life. No matter how difficult a period you are going through, there is always something to be grateful for.  Do you say a silent prayer before a meal? Or maybe start a Gratitude journal.
  2. Do something creative. Learn something new. When you are doing a creative project, you unblock energy and that energy can now flow in better ways. When you are doing the creative project; pay attention to the process. Immerse yourself in it.
  3. Find your passion. Pursue something that you care deeply about. Even taking small steps toward your passion will bring you joy.  What does your ideal day look like?  Read my blog on 10 Questions to Find Your Passion.
  4. Be of service to others. Take the focus off your ego-centered self and bring happiness to another person. Think of the countless ways you can be of service.
  5.  Exercise. The Mayo Clinic says, “Exercise in almost any form can act as a stress reliever. Being active can boost your feel good endorphins and distract you from daily worries”. You do not have to train for a marathon.  Just do some exercise that you enjoy.
  6. Listen to your intuition. In silence, you deep gut feelings are very reliable. Learn to be aware of them.

What do you do to bring more joy into your life?

Key to Happiness

By: Gloria Marie

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Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Resentment, anger, and grief over past relationships hold a tremendous amount of energy. It is important to release the negative energy in order for more positive relationships to flow into your life. It is almost like creating a “space” for something or someone new to enter. Below I describe one technique I use to forgive and move on. This exercise can work not only for romantic relationships, it can work for any relationship that needs healing and closure.

There was one man I dated for several months. I felt the relationship was a convenience instead of a priority. The relationship did not progress. Every date was like the “first” date, no more no less. I used this exercise to get the courage to end the relationship and to move on.

In order to release myself and my energy from a relationship, I would write a letter to them. Sometimes it was just one letter other times six or seven. No one would ever see the letters. When I felt I wrote all I need to, I would follow the steps I list below. It provided closure and healing.

This is a powerful exercise.
1. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Sit in a comfortable chair in a quiet space. Take a few deep breaths. Write a letter to the person you need to forgive or the person you need to let go of. Take your time. Write your feelings about them; how they hurt you, how that felt, how you may have done things differently. There is no rule as to how long the letter has to be, keep writing until you have nothing else to say to them. When you feel you have written enough, at the bottom of the letter wish them well and sign your name.

2. Tear the letter up into small pieces and then do one of the following: a) Put them in a pan and burn them. Obviously, be very careful with this step. As you watch them burn say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed or at least wish them happiness b) Bury the pieces of paper in the ground. As you cover them with dirt, say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed to.

3. Repeat this as often as needed, until you feel you have forgiven and released the person. You know you have released this person’s energy when you no longer feel any strong emotion when you think of them.

How many letters did your forgiveness take?

4 Steps to Create Your Vision

By: Gloria Marie

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We all want to have happy, successful lives. But, what does your happy, successful life look like? A large step to create the life you want is to clearly identify what that looks like.  We need to create a vision and a strong personal foundation in order to move toward our ideal life. While defining the vision, it is essential to eliminate thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy.  Strong faith in ourselves goes a long way to help build an ideal life.  This blog will suggest 4 steps to create your vision.

Whenever I would change careers, which over the course of my life happened many times, I would sit down and clearly identify the steps necessary for a change.  Sometimes, it was rather daunting and almost overwhelming.  That is when feelings of fear instead of faith would enter my mind.  But, I found with clearly a defined vision and concrete steps to accomplish the career change, faith in myself would eliminate the fear. I would read over my vision and this would help prevent obstacles from forming in my mind.  My focus would be on moving forward with confidence.

4 Steps to Create your Strong Personal Foundation

  1. Ask yourself the following questions:
    1. What does your ideal day consist of?
    2. What does you ideal income provide you with?
    3. In 5 years, what will you have accomplished?
  2. Write a clear and concise paragraph of your ideal life based on the answers to the above questions. Every sentence should be phrased in the present tense and contain only positive words.
  3. Review it and read it out loud 3 times a day for the next 30 days.
  4. Have a mental picture of yourself in your happy, successful life. Whenever fear sets in, create this picture in your mind and do not let it fade!

What does your happy, successful life look like?