Tag Archives: forgiveness

Spring is a Time of Renewal

By: Gloria Marie

spring equinox, divorce, divorce advice, single happy strong

There is so much written to “stay fully present.” That is a simple concept but usually difficult to adhere to day in and day out. However, there is only now. We can choose to worry about the future and those worries may never come to fruition. We can carry the past with us and part of that past might be bitterness, forgiveness, and hurt. Spring is a time of renewal and a fantastic time to shed and cut the emotional baggage from your past.

If we look at nature; birds and animals shed their fur and feathers in the spring. They are casting off the old and receiving the new. Native Americans called March the “weak month” because of the inactivity in animal and man, which always prevails when this power is recuperating, and renewing. It is perfect time of year for us to release what we would like to shed from the past. By releasing the past, we can live more fully in the present. We can be unburdened.

Carrying past unfinished business is a drain on our emotional and physical being. It can be likened to carrying credit card debt. The ever-increasing interest rate goes on and on. Why continue to carry that weight forward? Be free of past hurts and then you can renew the possibilities of your life in the present. Your energy is free and you are healed.

What debt are you carrying? Whom do you need to forgive? It could be yourself that you need to forgive. Let’s cut that debt and feel free. Peace and freedom are the doorway to happiness. Practice the Law of Forgiveness and give up the need to punish the people who hurt you. Unless you are willing to forgive, how can you be forgiven?

Pray for guidance and help. Say silently to the person that you need to release or forgive,

“I send to you the fullness of the Divine Love of my Being to bless and prosper you.”

Happy Spring! Wishing you peace, love and light.

If you need help releasing the past, try coaching with Gloria. Click the link for information.

Two Techniques for Forgiveness

By: Gloria Marie

help for divorced woman, single happy strong, divorce advice,

Last week’s blog was about the importance of forgiveness. This week I would like to discuss two tools for forgiveness. When you forgive someone it does not mean that you condone what they did, it allows you to clear your energy and move forward with your life. The Universe is ready to fill any void. So, get rid of any negativity that you are holding onto and go forward with joy, peace and love.

Technique One

1. Spend ten minutes quieting your mind and getting in touch with your inner self. You can meditate, pray, or read something inspirational.
2. Then say the following: I fully and freely forgive _____________ (mention the name); I release him and let him go. I completely forgive everything. It is finished forever. He is free and I am free. I wish him well and ask God to Bless us both.
3. This does not need repeating. It is sufficient to do it only once.
4. When the person you forgave comes into your mind. Immediately ask God to Bless him.
5. Continue step 4 until all bitterness or resentment disappears.
6. Gradually, it will get easier and easier and one day you will feel joy and know that you are free.

Technique Two

1. Spend ten minutes quieting your mind and getting in touch with your inner self. You can meditate, pray, or read something inspirational.
2. Get a piece of paper and something to write with.
3. Write a letter to the person you want to forgive. Be very detailed and tell what hurt you, how it made you feel, and why you are going to forgive them.
4. Sign you name and put at the bottom of the letter. “It is done.”
5. Say a prayer asking God to Bless them.
6. Either burn the letter and scatter the ashes outside or bury the letter in the earth.

How did you feel after doing one of these techniques?

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The Big F Word

By: Gloria Marie

forgiveness, divorce the divorce, divorceadvice for women, divorced

Forgiveness is the big F word. Forgiveness is probably the most important act we can practice in our lives. It may not always be easy to forgive, but, it is vital for your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

If someone hurt you deeply or did something that physically hurt you, it does not mean you condone the act. You can accept that it was wrong and that it is unacceptable to treat you that way, but, you can still forgive.

When we have ill or negative thoughts about someone, it is like putting poison in our own bodies and hoping it will have the effect on the person that hurt us. It does not work that way. Those negative thoughts come back to you like a boomerang and can affect you both physically and mentally.

Forgiveness does not happen overnight, but, once you make the decision, it CAN be done. Imagine how much lighter you will feel without holding onto something so negative. Other more positive things will appear in your life. The Universe will fill that void.

About a year ago I lost my job. That in and of itself was really tuff, but, I realized the owner of the company lied to me about why I was let go. This was a friend and someone I trusted. As a single mother supporting a son in school, I was let go after four years with no warning and no severance. Our mission at the company was to promote peace and love in the world. So, not only was I without work, all I had worked for was false.

I know how important forgiveness is and I began immediately to pray to God to help me and guide me. It wasn’t overnight, but, it worked. The litmus test for forgiveness: you hear something wonderful happened to the person and you are actually happy and joyous for them.

Not only are you happy, but, you are FREE!!!

Next week, I will share some techniques to achieve happiness. If you are not on my email list, sign up on my website to receive my weekly blog.

Blessings.

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness

By: Gloria Marie

forgiveness, divorce, divorced, divorced women

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Resentment, anger, and grief over past relationships hold a tremendous amount of energy. It is important to release the negative energy in order for more positive relationships to flow into your life. It is almost like creating a “space” for something or someone new to enter. Below I describe one technique I use to forgive and move on. This exercise can work not only for romantic relationships, it can work for any relationship that needs healing and closure.

There was one man I dated for several months. I felt the relationship was a convenience instead of a priority. The relationship did not progress. Every date was like the “first” date, no more no less. I used this exercise to get the courage to end the relationship and to move on.

In order to release myself and my energy from a relationship, I would write a letter to them. Sometimes it was just one letter other times six or seven. No one would ever see the letters. When I felt I wrote all I need to, I would follow the steps I list below. It provided closure and healing.

This is a powerful exercise.
1. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Sit in a comfortable chair in a quiet space. Take a few deep breaths. Write a letter to the person you need to forgive or the person you need to let go of. Take your time. Write your feelings about them; how they hurt you, how that felt, how you may have done things differently. There is no rule as to how long the letter has to be, keep writing until you have nothing else to say to them. When you feel you have written enough, at the bottom of the letter wish them well and sign your name.

2. Tear the letter up into small pieces and then do one of the following: a) Put them in a pan and burn them. Obviously, be very careful with this step. As you watch them burn say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed or at least wish them happiness b) Bury the pieces of paper in the ground. As you cover them with dirt, say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed to.

3. Repeat this as often as needed, until you feel you have forgiven and released the person. You know you have released this person’s energy when you no longer feel any strong emotion when you think of them.

How many letters did your forgiveness take?

Dating and Being Stood Up

By: Gloria Marie

 

“Love is a state of Being.  Your love is not outside; it is deep within you.  You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”

-Eckhart Tolle

These wise words from Eckhart Tolle are important to remember while in the dating process.  We all want love and companionship from other human being, but, love is deep within us.  Sometimes it may be hidden, but, it cannot be taken away from us. Dating will have its ups and its downs; just like life.  When you are stood up for the first time, it can hurt.  You may try to internalize the experience. You may try to relive the last time you spoke. Stop all the chatter in your mind and grow from yet another dating experience.  This is how I deal with dating and being stood up.

There was a man I met on an online dating site.  We went out for about 5 dates and had good times.  He asked me out for New Year’s Eve and I thought, “Great!”   It had been several years; yes several, since I had a date for New Year’s Eve.   December 30 he texted me and asked what I was doing the next evening.  I responded, “Going out with you, I thought we had plans.”  Well, that night, the next day and the next evening: no call and no text message.  I choose not to call him and I never heard from him again.

Of course, my mind initially created so many scenarios and finally, I decided, it did not matter what the circumstances were. All that mattered was my reaction to them.  I could have gotten angry. Anger could be a very logical response.  But, who would my anger hurt the most?  Me! Instead, every time I would feel hurt or anger, I would say, “I wish him much happiness”.  I continued to repeat this until the hurt and anger were gone.  I do hope he is happy and I do know for sure, he would not be for me!

Next time someone hurts you, wish them the best.  And remember as Eckhart Tolle says, “Love is deep within you and cannot leave you.”

 

Have you ever been stood up?  How did you react?

 

 

 

Time for New Beginnings!

By: Gloria Marie

 

During my divorce, I went from a home with a husband, 2 sons and a dog to being all myself. The weekend would come and I would have the pain of being all alone. I knew it was time to start over. A time for new beginnings! The big question was: “Now what am I going to do?” This could be true for the ending of a relationship as well.

I approached it as starting over, with a clean slate. My outlook remained positive and I began to focus on all the things I did not make time for while I was married and raising my children. At night and on the weekends there were no more soccer game to attend or school projects that needed completion. Grocery shopping and dinner time were also streamlined.

In order to get started, I asked myself the following questions:
1. If you could do anything today, what would it be?
2. What sparks your creativity?
3. What do you like to read about?
4. What activities engage your whole heart?
5. What thrills or excites you?

Gradually, I had a blueprint for my new life. It included getting a job, taking tennis lessons, learning to knit, and doing volunteer work. I also made an effort to be out and about to meet more single friends and of course, did online dating. There are some weekends I am still alone and wish I had a partner to share the time with, but, my life is now enriched and happy.

Some suggestions for new opportunities:
1. Start a business
2. Go back to school
3. Take art classes
4. Join a gym
5. Do crafts on your dining room table
6. Read all those books you never had time for
7. Take cooking classes
8. Take dancing lessons
9. Do a Netflix marathon

The most important thing, is to stay positive and try something.

What worked for you?

5 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

By: Gloria Marie

 5 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

 bleeding-heart-244354_640

Dating is part of a single women’s life.  Having a broken heart at some point may become a reality.  It hurts, it’s uncomfortable and many emotions will wash over you. I like to think of every relationship like a brick in the foundation of the new me I am creating.  If one relationship doesn’t work out, maybe it prepared me in some way for the next one.  After all, we are a work in progress, brick by brick.

When a relationship does not work out, I like to ask myself, “What was the lesson this situation has brought to me?”  “How can I grow from this experience?”  These are very powerful questions to ask yourself.  Spend some quiet time, centered in the moment and think about this.  The present moment is always the best teacher.

5 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

1.  Try to avoid negative thoughts about yourself or your ex-boyfriend.  Negative thinking does no good.  Remember the law of attraction.  Try to stay positive to attract more positivity into your life.

2.That beautiful shirt he bought you, either toss is out or box it up and get it out of your sight. This goes for anything that brings back strong memories about the relationship.  If you cannot bear to throw something away: box it up, give it to someone or sell it.  Physical items contain energy and you want new, fresh energy in your life.

3. Exercise.  Exercise is a great way to release stress. Get moving.  Walk, go to the gym, play tennis: the important point is to begin moving. It might be easy and comfortable to stay on the couch in front of the television.  Do the uncomfortable, get some fresh air.

What have you done to deal with a broken heart?

Facing Fear for Single Women

By: Gloria Marie

 

Facing Fear for Single Women

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”

-George Addair

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 What is it that you fear?  Being alone? Change? Job loss? Supporting yourself?  As you go through a divorce and afterwards, there are many changes you must face and with change, usually comes fear. There are all sorts of fear: small ones and the large ones that take your breath away. As a life coach, I am not here to analyze why you have certain fears.  I can help you cope with them.

Fear sometimes is caused from the unknown.  Instead of thinking the unknown is a great adventure, we fear change. We all have immense power and energy that we can tap into.  This power and energy can help you deal with fears and create the amazing life you want.  We can get rid of fear by action.   Taking action, in small steps.  Using action, you are changing the energy from fear to power.  I want you to feel the fear, do not avoid it.

When you feel fear, sit in a quiet place without interruptions.  Take some deep breaths and scan you body for any discomfort.  Where are you holding the fear?  In your head, your solar plexus, your stomach, your throat?  Spend time breathing and observing the fear in your body.  Embrace the fear and breathe into it.  What is the feeling telling you?  What steps do you need to take to remove the fear?  When you feel comfortable, say a prayer and release the fear into the Universe.  Try repeating this as often as necessary until the feeling is gone.

Next, take one step toward removing the fear.  What did your heart tell you when you were embracing the fear? Take an action step, maybe a risk.  Use affirmations, inspirational reading, prayer, or music to give you courage and strength to take that step.  Little by little you can tackle your fears and you will realize the enormous amount of power that you have to create the awesome life you want.

What steps did you take this week to conquer a fear?  How did it feel?

 

 

Sensational Sunday and Mother’s Day

By: Gloria Marie

Sensational Sunday and Mother’s Day

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week for Sensational Sunday we honor our Mother’s and reflect on what motherhood means to you. If you are not a Mother, reflect of what it means to be women. Enjoy and honor yourself on this Mother’s Day.

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My Mother was an incredibly wise, giving woman.  She did not have an easy life, but, she enjoyed life. I can still hear her contagious laughter. She was the family Matriarch and her death left a large whole in our family’s heart.  My Mother was my rock through my divorce and through the many years of difficult times I experienced.  I can still hear her saying to me, “There is always a rainbow after the storm, stay strong!”  How fortunate and Blessed I am.

Today take out your journal and write down some favorite memories you have of times with your Mother. If you were not close to your Mother, write memories of a mother figure, a grandmother or a woman you admire.  Our Mother’s are in our DNA and in our hearts forever. The chain of love is not broken even with death. Spend some time honoring them today.  They helped you become the beautiful human being that you are.

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[Sonnets are full of love, and this my tome]

Christina Rossetti, 1830 -1894

Sonnets are full of love, and this my tome

Has many sonnets: so here now shall be

One sonnet more, a love sonnet, from me

To her whose heart is my heart’s quiet home,

To my first Love, my Mother, on whose knee

I learnt love-lore that is not troublesome;

Whose service is my special dignity,

And she my loadstar while I go and come

And so because you love me, and because

I love you, Mother, I have woven a wreath

Of rhymes wherewith to crown you honored name:

In you not fourscore years can dim the flame

Of love, whose blessed glow transcends the laws

Of time and change and mortal life and death.

 

Practice Forgiveness

By: Gloria Marie


 Practice Forgiveness

Big Heart of Art - 1000 Visual Mashups

 Forgiveness is probably the best practice for us to cultivate in our lives.  Anger is a negative, dark emotion. It clouds our hearts and our lives. Forgiving another person allows positive energy and love to replace the darkness.  Is anger holding back from leading a full life? What do you think you can do about it?

Sometimes just the awareness of anger towards someone is the beginning of forgiveness. It is not easy or quick to forgive.  Just sitting and acknowledging that you are angry at someone is progress.  The Dalai Lama’s says about forgiveness, “I forgive but, I do not forget”.  Forgiveness does not mean what was done to you was alright. Forgiveness frees your soul to allow more light to enter.

The New York Times published an article on April 5, 2014 titled, “Portraits of Reconciliation” with photos by Pieter Hugo and text by Susan Dominus. It was an extremely moving article on the power of forgiveness. They went to Rwanda; 20 years after nearly a million people were killed during the country’s genocide. There is a national effort in Rwanda toward reconciliation. Groups are counseled over months with the objective that the perpetrator formally requests forgiveness from their victims.  The text and photos are remarkable.  One common theme among the survivors was that they felt more peaceful after they forgave the perpetrators. They felt peace in their hearts.

There is a lot of power in Forgiveness.  Is there someone you are ready and would like to forgive? Follow these tips.

1. Be gentle and loving with yourself.  Think of the image of a deer, gentle and loving.

2. Be patient.  It will take time.

3. Take small steps.  Start with something or someone that may be easier to forgive. Gradually move on to larger, more difficult situations.

Did you give it a try?