Being single can have you feeling lonely at times. But, try this two-step process to focus on your strengths and stop the negative chatter in your mind.
Setting boundaries can be difficult in some areas of our lives. You may have no trouble with boundaries at work or with your children. How about boundaries with your family members or with friends? Or most important; boundaries with yourself? It is essential to be aware of and establish personal boundaries with ourselves, only then can we set boundaries with others. I equate it to the oxygen mask on planes. The flight attendant says, “Place the mask over your face before placing the mask with any children you are traveling with”. Sometimes, it is alright to say no to demands on your time.
If we begin with ourselves then, it will be easier to establish other boundaries in our lives. By doing this you will empower yourself and become more confident. This will give you self-fulfillment and then you can freely give of yourself to others: your children, your family, and your friends. It is like putting gas in the tank of your car. If there is no gas, the car stops. If “your tank” is empty, it is hard to lead a happy, peaceful life.
Sometimes we feel guilty for doing things for ourselves or taking time for ourselves. There are all the “shoulda’” and “have to dos”. We get stuck in routines at work and at home. We go on autopilot and before we know it, we are exhausted and drained.
This exercise it to create a personal boundary.
1. Pick something that you enjoy doing: meditating, playing music, exercising, or reading. Have it something you look forward to doing, not something that is guilt driven.
2. Schedule this activity for 30 minutes to 1 hour each day for the next week. Put it on your calendar.
3. If you have children or roommates, put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door. This is your special time to renew and refresh your soul.
By empowering yourself to do this, it will carry over into other parts of your life.
What did your put into your schedule?
Did you ever notice when you must make an important decision, your thoughts rapidly go through your head, and it seems like there is so much noise that you cannot think? We have all probably been there, and it might be because you are afraid that you will make the wrong decision. Or maybe you are scared to make any decisions. But, you can learn how to confidently make important decisions.
The key is to quiet your mind. We all are born with Inner Knowing and Inner Guidance that connects us with God, the source of Infinite Intelligence. But, we get caught up in the day to day activities, and we lose touch with this source. However, it is there for us to tap into and by training ourselves to tap that source, we can confidently make important decisions.
One of the ways to get in touch with our Inner Guidance is using a mantra. A mantra is a short phrase or word that you can silently repeat to yourself. With consistent use of a mantra, you can learn to calm your mind. With a calm mind, you can clearly make decisions.
Pick a mantra from the list below and silently repeat it to yourself. When you are stressed or worried, repeat it. When you are in traffic and upset, repeat it to yourself. By using it in everyday situations, it will become a powerhouse for you. Then, when it is time to make an important decision you are ready. Sit down in a quiet space, take some deep breaths and silently repeat the mantra. After a few minutes, your mind will quiet down, and you can begin to get in touch with your Inner Knowing and confidently know the answer.
Try this technique for small, unimportant decisions. Then, when the life-changing decisions need to be made, you will be ready!
Wishing you a week filled with love and light.
Om mani padme hum
“The jewel in the lotus of the heart.”
Pronounced: ohm maa-nee paad-may-hoom
Ave Maria or Hail Mary
“Ave Maria” means “Hail Mary” a mantram in honor of Mother Mary
My God and my all.
This was a phrase that Saint Francis used in his prayers
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us.
The Jesus prayer
Kyrie eleison or Lord have Mercy
“The Lord as the source of abiding joy.”
Barukh attah Adonal
“Blessed art thou, O Lord”
Pronounced: baa-rook aa-taa aa-doh-nai
Ribono shel olam
“Lord of the Universe”
Pronounced: rib-on-oh shell oh-lam
The name of God.
A breakup can take many forms. It can be the breakup of a romantic relationship, it could be the end of a friendship or the loss of a job or money. It could be divorce or a separation. Loss can take many forms. Watch the video to learn three techniques to teach you, “How to Get Over a Breakup.”
Allow yourself time to grieve. That is important, but, eventually, you will need to move on and open your heart to healing.
The visualization technique that I guide you through is a great tool for you to use in many situations.
You cannot change the past, but, you do have a choice going forward. The choice to heal, forgive and move on. This video goes over three techniques to help you move on. I discuss methods of journaling and creating a “Joy List.” Then there is a powerful, guided visualization technique for forgiveness and to open your heart to healing. Finally, I suggest the use of affirmations. Change your thoughts, change your life. Be kind and patient with yourself, and you will survive.
I deserve to be happy. I am creating my happiness
I am worth loving
I love myself.
I am strong.
Every day is an opportunity for joy.
How to Deal With Betrayal by a Friend
Betrayal by a friend is awful and hurtful, however, if you carry around bitterness or hostility you are zapping your own energy. The only one that continues to suffer will be you. It is like drinking poison! You do not need to condone or agree with their treatment of you. But, bitterness only hurts your energy. Like attracts like and you certainly do not want to attract more of the same. You want to attract loving, kind, and trustworthy friends into your life. Wish the betrayer well and cast if off. Spend your energy on thinking and attracting the type of true friends that you deserve. You cannot change what they did, you can only control your thoughts going forward. #betrayal #friendbetrayal
Our lives unfold in Divine Order every day, yet the surrender to this is difficult. We worry about the past and the future. We get upset if things do not go our way and spend tons of energy being upset. This energy would be better directed to see the wonder and beauty that we have in our lives daily. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we are reminded of the preciousness of life. It happened to me this past week.
A dear friend of mine was admitted to Hospice this past week. My sister and I went late one evening to see her and to pray. Being in Hospice so late at night there was silence. The silence of acceptance. It was peaceful and serene. James Finely said in a retreat that I attended, “In Hospice, no one recovers, but, some people are healed. That is compassion.” At Hospice, there is surrender to Divine Order.
The next morning, the sky looked bluer than I had seen it in a while. The flowers and landscape in my backyard were beautiful. The air smelled so crisp and fresh. I felt alive and grateful for the day before me. Not that the day was perfect, rarely is a day perfect. But, I once again realized the preciousness of the simple things in life.
Many parts of our lives and days are spent in limbo, waiting for the future, perfect day instead of being fully alive today. Are there clothes in your closet that you wear only on special occasions? How about the cologne on your dresser that you rarely use? What else are you holding onto for the “just in case” future event?
Today is that special day! Look around you and be grateful for all the blessings in your life. Open your heart and feel the preciousness of life.
This is a helpful prayer to say in the morning.
“Divine Order takes charge in my life today and every day. All things work together for me today. This is a new and wonderful day for me. I am divinely guided all day long.”
Toxic relationships can poison your life. Would you put toxic chemicals in your body? More than likely, you try to avoid them. Toxic relationships drain your time, your energy, and your self-esteem. You know when you are in this type of relationship. You may feel tired, mistreated, and give more than you receive. These relationships can be with a lover, a friend, a family member or an ex-husband. You have the power to remove toxic ties from your life.
Recently, I cut a toxic tie with a friend. He continually disappointed me, and I allowed it. It took one last huge disappointment, and I said enough! I would no longer tolerate this type of treatment. I kept hoping for a change that may never occur, and the only one suffering was me. Once I made that decision, I felt more in control of my life.
A toxic relationship is like a computer virus that grows and grows. It may start small and go unnoticed, but, eventually, you see that your computer is not working quite right. The next day you may notice something else different about your computer as the virus continues to evade your hard drive. While in a toxic relationship, you may not be aware of the compromises initially, they will grow gradually, but, one day you realize you can no longer put up with the lies, the lack of respect or the constant drain on your time and energy. When that day arrives, you then must have the courage to cut the tie.
What you tolerate will happen again and again. It is like watching a movie or reading a book and hoping for a different ending. That is not going to happen. Releasing this type of relationship requires courage. It is not your fault that you are in a relationship of this type. But, you can do something about it because there is a huge cost.
1. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship ask yourself why you are stuck?
2. If it is a romantic relationship, do you believe that you do not deserve real love?
3. Set healthy boundaries and do not feel guilty about it. Or you may have to avoid contact altogether.
4. Ask yourself, what difference would it make in your life if this energy drainer was out of your life?
Have the courage to release. Do not tolerate mistreatment.
Learn four steps to overcome failure. Fight back and gain success.
It seems whenever there is dissatisfaction in our lives, we become more impressionable. At times like these, there is a tendency to allow the opinions of others to affect our lives. We get caught in the currents of change and grasp for input. I am not saying that friends and family are not well meaning, they want you to be happy, successful, and content. But, the best guidance is your inner guidance and your connection with God, Infinite Intelligence. How to trust your inner guidance and gain confidence in your choices?
Always remember, there is a place you are to fill, and no one can fill it, something you are to do. That is why God created you to be on this earth. You have a special role to fill. You may not be sure of what it is, but, in silence and with a connection to God, your heart and soul will reveal it to you. There may be baby steps along the way, but, learning to trust your inner guidance and rejoice in the present moment, you will get there.
Trusting yourself may be uncomfortable for you at first, especially if you have allowed others to make your choices. Or you may be nervous that you will not succeed or that you will appear foolish. To reach your dreams, you could have setbacks or look foolish. So, what? Only you know what is right for you.
Every performance an actor has in a movie does not win an Academy Award. Some of my favorite actors had incredible performances in wonderful movies, yet, they were not nominated. Does that stop them from accepting the next role? No, because they are filling their place that no one else can fill. And, so can you.
Take the direct, straight route to find your life purpose and follow your dreams. Spend time in silence, asking God for guidance. Try lighting a candle and put your ideas in a journal. Remember, you are on this magnificent Earth for a reason. Learn to trust your inner guidance and move courageously forward.
Our thoughts carry tremendous energy. Usually, when we are irritated, angry, or upset, our thoughts are charged with super power. However, this is not the super power that we want or that we need. The more we concentrate on what is bothering us, the more control we give to those thoughts that do us no good. You can learn to let go of irritation; it takes letting go of the pull the thoughts have on your consciousness.
When my boys were young, I would read them a book called, “When You Give a Moose a Muffin.” In the story, the moose would get a muffin, but, then he would want something else, and this went on and on. The moose was never satisfied with the muffin or anything else. It is similar to our thoughts and our minds. If we let the pull of energy control us, we can never be satisfied.
For example, you may be shopping and see a beautiful dress that you would like to buy, but, cannot afford. You leave the store, and you are still thinking about the dress. Then you begin to think about your job that you don’t like and that you would like to have a job with a better salary. Then you begin to think that you do not like the area that you live, and maybe you should just move and get a new job. It goes on and on, and you become more and more irritated.
So, how to let the irritation go? The minute you begin to feel the pull of energy from the irritation. Relax, take a deep breath and let it go. You can let yourself be bothered by this, or you can be in freedom and let it go. Of course, you may still want the dress, but, it does not have to ruin your day or your mood. Relax, release and let go. Try to relax your shoulders and the area around your heart.
Relax, Release, Let Go
Next time you are at a light, and someone honks at you, try this technique. Relax, release and let go. Be willing to let the irritation go. It is your choice.