Tag Archives: divorced women dating

3 Steps for a Breathing Meditation

By: Gloria Marie

divorce the divorce, meditation, help for divorced women

The Single Happy and Strong Blog will be exploring different types of meditation. Meditation is simply put, controlling your thoughts and mind. It is not making your mind and thoughts blank. If that happens-great! When you meditate, you should have not any expectations of the results. Try these 3 steps for a breathing mediation.

In the February, 2014 issue of Psychological Science they reported a study on meditation that was conducted by INSEAD and The Wharton School. They found that a 15 minute meditation practice of focused breathing helped the participants make smarter choices.

Zoe Kinias stated in the article:
We found that a brief period of mindfulness meditation can encourage people to make more rational decisions by considering the information available in the present moment. Mediation reduced how much people focused on the past and future, and this psychological shift led to less negative emotions. The reduced negative emotion then facilitated their ability to let go of “sunk costs”.

Here are the steps to try a Breathing Meditation:

1. Find a place to site where you will not be disturbed. You may sit in a chair or on the floor, whichever is most comfortable for you. Turn off the television, mute your phone, and turn off your computer.
2. Set a timer for 15 minutes.
3. Take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and begin to concentrate on your breath going in and out of your nostrils. Have your body settle in to a natural state of respiration.
4. With each inhalation concentrate on the physical sensations in your body. With each exhalation release any thoughts or mental images.
5. When thoughts appear, just let them go.
6. If it helps, you may count your breaths. There is no right or wrong.
7. Periodically confirm that your body is relaxed.
8. Continue breathing until the timer goes off.
9. When the timer goes off, slowly open your eyes and spend a minute quietly sitting.

How did you feel after the 15 minutes of breathing?

Connect with Nature

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorce the divorce, single happy strong

Recently, I had the incredible pleasure of spending a month in a picturesque mountain town with my son. He was taking online classes this particular semester and to my delight decided to join me. My intention was to connect with nature and spend the month in a simple way. We did not have Internet or cable television. If we needed the Internet, we went to the local library.

The first few days, it was almost like a withdrawal. I had not realized how addicted I was to social media and constantly checking my emails. At night, how would we pass the time without TV and my Netflix shows? Guess what? We went back to the basics. At night, we would watch a rented movie (we did have a television) or read. My son’s favorite thing to do after dinner was to drive and watch the sunset over the mountains and then spend time gazing at the amazing night sky. He would watch the Milky Way in silence instead of his favorite television show.

We would keep up with the headlines in the news, but, did not spend lots of time dwelling over the often horrific events in the world. After a few days, we surrender to the silence and the peace. Actually, we spent time in the present moment, the “now”. As Eckhart Tolle so beautifully writes about, there is power in the now.

I enjoyed staring at the mountains, listening to the wind go through the aspen leaves, or listening to the sound of a stream going over rocks. During my daily walks, I would marvel at the butterflies or the wildflowers.

I felt closer to God in the silence of nature. Maybe you cannot spend a month in nature, but, you could spend a day or a few hours. It will do wonders to refresh and renew your soul. It will help you get back to the basics and be in the present moment. Try to spend a day away from the news or at least limit your time. See how it makes you feel!

Be Still and Know That I Am God

By: Gloria Marie

be still and know that I am God, divorce the divorce, divorce advice, divorced women

“Be Still and Know That I am God” is probably one of the greatest verses in the Bible. This verse alone can help us deal with fear and anxiety. It reminds us to stop and focus on God alone. But, often in our crazy, busy, daily life we forget to practice that. We are usually more conditioned to accept the fear and anxiety as a part of our life struggles.

It has been said that Buddha did a whole silent lecture once. He merely gazed at a flower. The beauty in a flower is the same beauty we all have inside of us. It is our God nature that we can access if we become still.

Yesterday I had the privilege of driving through Yellowstone National Park. I was really lucky because I was not the one driving, I was fortunate to sit back and absorb the beauty of this great National Park. It was in the silence of the drive that I marveled how great God is and in the stillness I felt a part of the incredible beauty and nature that I saw.

The beauty was sometimes in the smallest of things. The way the sun was reflecting on a river, the different mineral colors in the mountains, or an elk quietly grazing or the perfect timing of Old Faithful geyser erupting every 90 minutes. My thoughts kept going to: Be still and know that I am God. I felt love, joy, and peace.

You can access this same feeling. One easy way is when difficulties arise, turn your thoughts to this beautiful phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.” Take a pause from your problems, focus on God. God does not work with the laws of this earth, he can and does perform miracles.

Another way is to spend time in nature in silence. Like Buddha, gaze at a simple flower, or leaf or tree. Begin to connect to your deepest, beautiful inner self. By practicing in this way, it will help you to connect with your inner self the next time you are filled with fear.

This week, when fearful thoughts arise, remember, “Be still and know that I am God.”

3 Ways to Help with Sadness

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorce the divorce

One day this past week, I woke up sad. There was really no specific reason, it just was. We can have a very happy, fulfilled life, but, some day’s sadness can come over us. Perhaps a friend received a diagnosis or you are concerned about a family member. The news and world events that are tragic can also bring about this feeling. Try these 3 ways to help with sadness the next time you feel that way.

If you are feeling sad, it is alright, do not feel bad about it. Try to get in touch with your feelings instead of ignoring them. These tools can help you create a shift in your thinking so you do not keep descending to a deep, dark place. By shifting our energy, we are creating space for more positive thoughts to come into our mind.

Many times we are sad over something we have no control of. When I read about a mass shooting, I am sad, but, there is nothing I can do to bring the lost lives back to life. What I can do, is create positive energy around me and that will help heal others.

3 Ways to Help with Sadness
1. Write down ten things you are grateful for. Even if you are struggling now, you have something to be grateful for. You are reading this article which means you woke up today and you are breathing. Try to not list the ten obvious things, go deep. Gratitude centers you in the moment and allows God’s graces to flow to you.
2. Call a friend. If you are fortunate to have a buddy that lifts you up when you talk with them. Give them a call and let them know you are sad. Hopefully, they will listen non-judgmentally and give you that pick up you want. Do you have any friends like that? The kind of friend that you know will cheer you up or make you laugh. Treasure that friendship.
3. Watch an inspiring video or read an inspiring passage in a book. With the Internet, it would take only a little searching to find the perfect media to read or watch.

Remember that sadness will pass. The sun and blue sky are still behind every dark cloud.

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Release and Surrender

By: Gloria Marie

divorce the divorce, faith, trust God, divorce advice

Lately I have heard from so many people that feel frustrated in some part of their lives. It may be frustration from trying to launch a new company, frustration in trying to sell a home, or frustration in a dead end job. Have you ever felt that no matter what you do or no matter what steps you are taking; it seems like you are getting nowhere? Maybe it is time to release and surrender to a power much greater than yourself.

Surrendering does not mean you are giving up. It means you are going to stop holding onto the problems with your hands in tight fists and probably your stomach in knots. Do you find yourself thinking, “I am so mixed up and do not know what to do?” Think of what mixed signals you are giving your subconscious mind. You want to move forward, but, are verbalizing the opposite. A good analogy is getting in a taxi. You give the drive one address; you do not keep changing it. Eventually you arrive at your destination.

It is the same with our subconscious minds. Our subconscious mind is aligned with God. Give it positive thoughts for what you want to manifest and then let go. Easy does it, have faith that your prayers will be answered.

Several years ago, I had to sell my home of 25 years. I could no longer afford it and it was a very emotional time with many, many changes and difficult situations throughout my life. The house was on the market forever. I must have shown it over 100 times. It was so frustrating dealing with my financial situation and having to put a happy face on when showing the property. In addition, I was cleaning out 25 years’ worth of memories. Not an easy time at all.

I was like the passenger in the taxi giving too many directions. On the one hand, I desperately needed to sell the house. But, on the other, I kept thinking: Would my son and I be homeless? Where were we going to live? What am I going to do with all the furniture and other stuff?

I held the situation, “tightly in my hands” and it did no good and did not produce a buyer for the house. I remember one day, praying and meditating and a shift occurred. I felt it in my heart, the faith to release my worries and give them to God. After that day, whenever my worries would arise, I would say a prayer or think of God. I trusted that God could move mountains. I did sell the house and the sale went smoothly.

Sometimes we need to let go, let God and spend time quietly listening. Keep the ego mind in check and get in tune with your subconscious mind. Stop the struggle and open your heart to God’s love. Again, you are not giving up and of course, still take action steps toward your goals. But, also listen and believe in a power much greater than yourself.

Easy does it!

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3 Steps to Your Best Summer Ever

By: Gloria Marie

divorced, divorced women, divorce the divorce,

It is hard to believe it is the middle of May already. Summer is right around the corner. Do you have any plans yet for the summer? I remember while growing up how exciting it was to have the whole summer off from school. We would spend days in our above ground pool and take breaks from swimming to play board games. I loved reading, so, summer was also a time to leisurely read. Nancy Drew books were my favorite. Try these 3 steps to your best summer ever.

This summer try to make it your best summer ever. What brings you joy? What makes your heart sing? A friend of mine is going through a tough time and I encouraged her to do something that she loves doing. She responded, “I do not know what brings me joy. I work a lot and never do anything for myself.”

It is easy to get complacent and just exist day to day. God wants us to have joyful, happy lives. Take some time to plan for your summer. I decided this summer I want to try watercolor painting. It is a gift to myself. I may not have any talent for it, but, I can assure you I will have fun experimenting with the paints and brushes.

3 Steps to Your Best Summer Ever
Allow yourself 5 – 10 minutes of quiet time to write out your answers. Sit in a chair, take a few deep breaths and think back to your childhood or a summer when you had a great time. What were you doing? Where were you? Who were you with? What made you smile? Your answers do not have to be complicated, simple answers are the best.
Step 1. Get a sheet of paper and a pen. At the top of the page write, “The Top 10 things that would MAKE THIS YOUR BEST SUMMER EVER”. Write the numbers 1- 10. Imagine the sun is shining. You’re relaxed, happy, can’t help but smile and are at peace with yourself and the world. What are you doing? What’s going on in your life? Now, start writing the 10 things.
If your life is busy with not many options right now, find small things you can do for yourself. (a 20 minute walk, dinner with friends, a weekend away) And remember- your best summer ever may be about what you don’t do as well. (Taking a nap, resting)
Step 2. Below your 10 things, write 3 actions that will move you closer to your BEST SUMMER EVER. These can be small action steps. The important point is that you take these three steps this week.
Step 3. Next week create 3 more action steps based on your 10 things.
What would make this your best summer ever?

Two Techniques for Forgiveness

By: Gloria Marie

help for divorced woman, single happy strong, divorce advice,

Last week’s blog was about the importance of forgiveness. This week I would like to discuss two tools for forgiveness. When you forgive someone it does not mean that you condone what they did, it allows you to clear your energy and move forward with your life. The Universe is ready to fill any void. So, get rid of any negativity that you are holding onto and go forward with joy, peace and love.

Technique One

1. Spend ten minutes quieting your mind and getting in touch with your inner self. You can meditate, pray, or read something inspirational.
2. Then say the following: I fully and freely forgive _____________ (mention the name); I release him and let him go. I completely forgive everything. It is finished forever. He is free and I am free. I wish him well and ask God to Bless us both.
3. This does not need repeating. It is sufficient to do it only once.
4. When the person you forgave comes into your mind. Immediately ask God to Bless him.
5. Continue step 4 until all bitterness or resentment disappears.
6. Gradually, it will get easier and easier and one day you will feel joy and know that you are free.

Technique Two

1. Spend ten minutes quieting your mind and getting in touch with your inner self. You can meditate, pray, or read something inspirational.
2. Get a piece of paper and something to write with.
3. Write a letter to the person you want to forgive. Be very detailed and tell what hurt you, how it made you feel, and why you are going to forgive them.
4. Sign you name and put at the bottom of the letter. “It is done.”
5. Say a prayer asking God to Bless them.
6. Either burn the letter and scatter the ashes outside or bury the letter in the earth.

How did you feel after doing one of these techniques?

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The Big F Word

By: Gloria Marie

improve your self-esteem, gloria pierson, single happy and strong

Forgiveness is the big F word. Forgiveness is probably the most important act we can practice in our lives. It may not always be easy to forgive, but, it is vital for your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

If someone hurt you deeply or did something that physically hurt you, it does not mean you condone the act. You can accept that it was wrong and that it is unacceptable to treat you that way, but, you can still forgive.

When we have ill or negative thoughts about someone, it is like putting poison in our own bodies and hoping it will have the effect on the person that hurt us. It does not work that way. Those negative thoughts come back to you like a boomerang and can affect you both physically and mentally.

Forgiveness does not happen overnight, but, once you make the decision, it CAN be done. Imagine how much lighter you will feel without holding onto something so negative. Other more positive things will appear in your life. The Universe will fill that void.

About a year ago I lost my job. That in and of itself was really tuff, but, I realized the owner of the company lied to me about why I was let go. This was a friend and someone I trusted. As a single mother supporting a son in school, I was let go after four years with no warning and no severance. Our mission at the company was to promote peace and love in the world. So, not only was I without work, all I had worked for was false.

I know how important forgiveness is and I began immediately to pray to God to help me and guide me. It wasn’t overnight, but, it worked. The litmus test for forgiveness: you hear something wonderful happened to the person and you are actually happy and joyous for them.

Not only are you happy, but, you are FREE!!!

Next week, I will share some techniques to achieve happiness. If you are not on my email list, sign up on my website to receive my weekly blog.

Blessings.

Have Some Fun and Create a New Vision Board

By: Gloria Marie

create a vision board, divorced women dating, help for divorce women

Yesterday was a New Moon in Aries. New Moons are time for beginning new projects, new ideas and starting over. I thought this would be the perfect time to have some fun and create a new vision board. Of course, do not feel you need to wait for a New Moon to make one. It is a positive project for you to try anytime you feel inspired. Vision boards are a powerful tool for manifestation.

I have a vision board in my closet that I made several years ago. It has collected dust and has seen better days. It was interesting to note that some of my vision remained the same, but, it had recently become more fine-tuned. I turned off my phone and had such fun constructing the new vision board. I was inspired and loved my completed project. This new board is not hidden in my closet, but, in my office below my altar where I can see it every day.

Steps to Create a Vision Board:

1. Gather the materials: Poster board of any size, glue, scissors, markers, pastel crayons, stickers, magazines, photos albums, a happy photo of yourself, and any quotes you like.
2. Glue the photo of yourself in the center.
3. Imagine the board divided into four sections. The top left is for relationships and love. The top right is for self-expression/career. The bottom right is for prosperity/wealth. The bottom left is for health and spirituality. Of course, these are just suggestions. Divide the poster board with works best for you and this point in your life.
4. Next, start looking through magazines, photo albums, and the Internet for quotes and for pictures that inspire you and that you would like to envision in your future. Do not spend a lot of time thinking about it, follow your heart and instincts. Find lots and lots of photos, you may not use them all.
5. Place the photos on the board. Which ones tell the story of your life six months, a year, maybe several years from now? Which quotes do you want to live your life by? When you are ready begin gluing them on.
6. On my board, I could not find some of the photos or quotes I wanted and that is when the markers and pastel crayons came into use. I wrote words and drew pictures.
7. At the top of my board, I wrote, “I AM Presence, Divine Wisdom, Love, and Power.” The I AM presence is God in action. I believe the God is the Universal Force that will manifest my dreams.
8. At the bottom of the board, I wrote the date.

I hope you have fun with this. Put it in an area of your home that you can see it every day for inspiration.

Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui

By: Gloria Marie

clear your clutter, divorce advice, divorce advice for women

This is a fantastic book for helping you simplify your life by clearing your clutter. “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui” by Karen Kingston is a practical, easy to put in place formula for freeing yourself from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual clutter forever in a joyful way.

The author gives many examples that by changing and clearing your home you are also changing the possibilities in your life. All of our objects have energy and by clinging to clutter, we may also be clinging to our past. “Do you own your stuff or does it own you?”

One entire chapter explores, “So Why Do People Keep Clutter?” I found myself nodding my head in agreement to many of the reasons: keeping things just in case, security, status, identity, inherited clutteritis or belief that more is better.

The author interjects stories from her clients and many are hilarious, but, hilarious also in the way we can probably relate. For example, your “duck” collection might have begun with a co-worker giving you a gift and before you know it, your entire home is filled with ducks.

The chapter on the Feng Shui Bagua is very easy to understand. In fact, I have read many books on Feng Shui and this is the first time I understood it. There are illustrations to help you map out your Bagua.

The authors’ Clutter Test:
1. Does it lift my energy when I think about it or look at it?
2. Do I absolutely love it?
3. Is it genuinely useful?

It is no surprise that earlier editions of this book sold over one million copies. Personally, I felt my home was pretty clutter free, but, I have a list of projects that I cannot wait to start. Freeing up  space and energy will be fantastic.

I received this book from Blogging for Books in order to write this review.