Tag Archives: divorce the divorce

Remove Toxic Ties from Your Life

By: Gloria Marie

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Toxic relationships can poison your life. Would you put toxic chemicals in your body? More than likely, you try to avoid them. Toxic relationships drain your time, your energy, and your self-esteem. You know when you are in this type of relationship. You may feel tired, mistreated, and give more than you receive. These relationships can be with a lover, a friend, a family member or an ex-husband. You have the power to remove toxic ties from your life.

Recently, I cut a toxic tie with a friend. He continually disappointed me, and I allowed it. It took one last huge disappointment, and I said enough! I would no longer tolerate this type of treatment. I kept hoping for a change that may never occur, and the only one suffering was me. Once I made that decision, I felt more in control of my life.

A toxic relationship is like a computer virus that grows and grows. It may start small and go unnoticed, but, eventually, you see that your computer is not working quite right. The next day you may notice something else different about your computer as the virus continues to evade your hard drive. While in a toxic relationship, you may not be aware of the compromises initially, they will grow gradually, but, one day you realize you can no longer put up with the lies, the lack of respect or the constant drain on your time and energy. When that day arrives, you then must have the courage to cut the tie.

What you tolerate will happen again and again. It is like watching a movie or reading a book and hoping for a different ending. That is not going to happen. Releasing this type of relationship requires courage. It is not your fault that you are in a relationship of this type. But, you can do something about it because there is a huge cost.

1. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship ask yourself why you are stuck?
2. If it is a romantic relationship, do you believe that you do not deserve real love?
3. Set healthy boundaries and do not feel guilty about it. Or you may have to avoid contact altogether.
4. Ask yourself, what difference would it make in your life if this energy drainer was out of your life?

Have the courage to release. Do not tolerate mistreatment.

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How to Trust Your Inner Guidance

By: Gloria Marie

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It seems whenever there is dissatisfaction in our lives, we become more impressionable. At times like these, there is a tendency to allow the opinions of others to affect our lives. We get caught in the currents of change and grasp for input. I am not saying that friends and family are not well meaning, they want you to be happy, successful, and content. But, the best guidance is your inner guidance and your connection with God, Infinite Intelligence. How to trust your inner guidance and gain confidence in your choices?
Always remember, there is a place you are to fill, and no one can fill it, something you are to do. That is why God created you to be on this earth. You have a special role to fill. You may not be sure of what it is, but, in silence and with a connection to God, your heart and soul will reveal it to you. There may be baby steps along the way, but, learning to trust your inner guidance and rejoice in the present moment, you will get there.
Trusting yourself may be uncomfortable for you at first, especially if you have allowed others to make your choices. Or you may be nervous that you will not succeed or that you will appear foolish. To reach your dreams, you could have setbacks or look foolish. So, what? Only you know what is right for you.
Every performance an actor has in a movie does not win an Academy Award. Some of my favorite actors had incredible performances in wonderful movies, yet, they were not nominated. Does that stop them from accepting the next role? No, because they are filling their place that no one else can fill. And, so can you.
Take the direct, straight route to find your life purpose and follow your dreams. Spend time in silence, asking God for guidance. Try lighting a candle and put your ideas in a journal. Remember, you are on this magnificent Earth for a reason. Learn to trust your inner guidance and move courageously forward.

Learn to Let Go of Irritation

By: Gloria Marie

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Our thoughts carry tremendous energy. Usually, when we are irritated, angry, or upset, our thoughts are charged with super power. However, this is not the super power that we want or that we need. The more we concentrate on what is bothering us, the more control we give to those thoughts that do us no good. You can learn to let go of irritation; it takes letting go of the pull the thoughts have on your consciousness.

When my boys were young, I would read them a book called, “When You Give a Moose a Muffin.” In the story, the moose would get a muffin, but, then he would want something else, and this went on and on. The moose was never satisfied with the muffin or anything else. It is similar to our thoughts and our minds. If we let the pull of energy control us, we can never be satisfied.

For example, you may be shopping and see a beautiful dress that you would like to buy, but, cannot afford. You leave the store, and you are still thinking about the dress. Then you begin to think about your job that you don’t like and that you would like to have a job with a better salary. Then you begin to think that you do not like the area that you live, and maybe you should just move and get a new job. It goes on and on, and you become more and more irritated.

So, how to let the irritation go? The minute you begin to feel the pull of energy from the irritation. Relax, take a deep breath and let it go. You can let yourself be bothered by this, or you can be in freedom and let it go. Of course, you may still want the dress, but, it does not have to ruin your day or your mood. Relax, release and let go. Try to relax your shoulders and the area around your heart.

Relax, Release, Let Go

Next time you are at a light, and someone honks at you, try this technique. Relax, release and let go. Be willing to let the irritation go. It is your choice.

Secret to Doing Dreaded Tasks Mindfully

By: Gloria Marie

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We all have some tasks or chores that we dread to do. It maybe you worked all day and are exhausted, but, your family is waiting for you to cook dinner. Or it a beautiful Saturday morning and you would love to play golf, but, instead you must mow the grass. Can you think of a time something similar applied to you? Usually the problem is we do not stay in the present moment. Our minds are racing to the future and wishing our time could be spent in another way. There is a secret to doing dreaded tasks mindfully.

The secret is just that: do the dreaded tasks mindfully. Stay in the present moment and give it your complete attention. The jobs will get done quicker and you could find peace and solace in the present moment. We can spend so much energy resisting instead of surrendering.

Surrender to the present moment do not resist it.

When my boys were young, I was starting up a business. If you have ever done that, it takes more time and more money than even the most conservative business plan projected. The boys school was 30 -40 minutes from my office. After working all day, I would rush to pick them up, silently hoping that I would not be the last Mother at pick up. Then I would drive home and make dinner. I dreaded cooking dinner. I was tired and just wanted to relax.

My spiritual teacher at the time suggested I turn that cooking time into a time of prayer and meditation. Instead of dreading and resisting, figure a way to make it relaxing and contemplative. So, on Sundays, I would sit down and plan all the menus for the week. I challenged myself to try new recipes and I would go to the store and buy all the groceries needed. In time, it worked. Cooking dinner was relaxing and meditative to me. To this day, when I have had a crazy day, I love to cook a meal.

The other day I was speaking with a family member and I inquired about her parents. They just had a huge snow storm late in the season. She said her Dad was happy for the snow because it gave him one more chance to shovel the long driveway. Instead of dreading what could be an unpleasant task, he relished the solitude and considered it a meditation. He would shovel zig zags and other designs in the snow instead of shoveling straight boring lines.

There is a wonderful little book titled, “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence. Brother Lawrence was a monk in the Carmelite Order in the 1600’s. He disliked cooking and being in the kitchen. Well, as you could probably guess, that was his job, to wash dishes. Brother Lawrence, felt he was just as close to God while in the kitchen as when he was attending mass in church. He spent his time while washing dishes in prayer and communication with God.

We are all creative human beings. Next time that dreaded task needs to be done, think creatively on how to make it a special, meditative time for you. Find solace in the situation and surrender to the moment.

Breathing Exercise for Anxiety

By: Gloria Marie

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Breathing is fundamental to our life and usually taken for granted. With every breath, you take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide. You inhale a life force and exhale a waste product. Proper breathing techniques can release tension, stress, muscle tension and fatigue. Typically, there are two types of breathing patterns: chest breathing and abdominal breathing. We commonly use chest breath when we are under stress. It is shallow breathing. The chest expands and the shoulder rise to take in air. In abdominal breathing, inhaled air is drawn deep into the lungs as the abdomen expands. By becoming aware of your breathing patterns and shifting to more abdominal breathing, you can reduce stress related symptoms and muscle tension. Try this breathing exercise for anxiety.

Let’s discover how you currently breathe before we practice abdominal breathing. Put one hand on your abdomen and one hand on your chest. Observe your breath without trying to change it. Spend a few minutes just quietly observing. Take your time. Which hand rises more as you breathe? If it the hand on your chest, you are doing shallow chest breathing. If the hand on your abdomen is rising more, you are doing deep abdominal breathing. Our goal is to switch to abdominal breathing more.

To practice abdominal breathing, lie on your back on the floor, a bed or couch, whatever is most comfortable for you. Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your abdomen. Imagine that your abdomen is a balloon and that as you inhale you are filling it up with air. Try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. As you inhale, first your abdomen, then your middle chest and then your upper chest will expand in a smooth movement. Imagine filling a glass with water from the bottom to the top. Try to practice this a few minutes, until your inhale and exhale are smooth movements. When you have the technique, try doing it while sitting and standing. Try to practice this once or twice a day until it becomes naturally and flowing to you. As with most of the tools, it is best practiced in a non-stressful situation before you incorporate it into a fearful situation.

The following is a specific way to breath to release tension. You will use you abdominal breathing in a specific way. It is time to take it up a notch.
1. Inhale and say to yourself, “Breath in.” It is not necessary to put your hands on your chest and abdomen, unless you find that helpful.
2. Hold your breath a moment before your exhale.
3. exhale slowly and deeply as you say to yourself, “Relax.”
4. As you hold your breath for a moment, notice any parts of your body that you are holding tension. When you exhale, feel the tension leave your body.
5. Practice tis for five to ten minutes as a time.
6. Practice it in non-stressful situations a few times a day. When you are comfortable with the technique, practice it in stressful situations.

Watch the video and together we will practice this technique with soothing music in the background.

How to Let Go of Struggles

By: Gloria Marie

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How to let go of struggles: by connecting to your higher self and asking God for guidance. It is the “feeling” of struggle that causes the struggle and problems. We allow our ego to rule instead of going to a place of peace and calm. When we allow that space we can hear our inner voice. Inner change must occur before outer change. During struggles, we need to become comfortable with the uncertainty and have faith that infinite possibilities will open up.

It is like being in a cage. All you can see is the fence and four walls, yet, beyond the fence is an entire world of possibilities. Yet, you feel trapped in the cage.

Ask God for help and guidance, connect to your inner peace and the answers will come.

A prayer:
Mighty God in whom I recognize and feel thy Power of action, help solve this problem and find direction.

Spring is a Time of Renewal

By: Gloria Marie

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There is so much written to “stay fully present.” That is a simple concept but usually difficult to adhere to day in and day out. However, there is only now. We can choose to worry about the future and those worries may never come to fruition. We can carry the past with us and part of that past might be bitterness, forgiveness, and hurt. Spring is a time of renewal and a fantastic time to shed and cut the emotional baggage from your past.

If we look at nature; birds and animals shed their fur and feathers in the spring. They are casting off the old and receiving the new. Native Americans called March the “weak month” because of the inactivity in animal and man, which always prevails when this power is recuperating, and renewing. It is perfect time of year for us to release what we would like to shed from the past. By releasing the past, we can live more fully in the present. We can be unburdened.

Carrying past unfinished business is a drain on our emotional and physical being. It can be likened to carrying credit card debt. The ever-increasing interest rate goes on and on. Why continue to carry that weight forward? Be free of past hurts and then you can renew the possibilities of your life in the present. Your energy is free and you are healed.

What debt are you carrying? Whom do you need to forgive? It could be yourself that you need to forgive. Let’s cut that debt and feel free. Peace and freedom are the doorway to happiness. Practice the Law of Forgiveness and give up the need to punish the people who hurt you. Unless you are willing to forgive, how can you be forgiven?

Pray for guidance and help. Say silently to the person that you need to release or forgive,

“I send to you the fullness of the Divine Love of my Being to bless and prosper you.”

Happy Spring! Wishing you peace, love and light.

If you need help releasing the past, try coaching with Gloria. Click the link for information.

Choose Gratitude

By: Gloria Marie

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When you woke up today, were you excited to start the day? Did you begin the day with a sense of excitement or wonder? Or, did you think, darn, another day? We get trapped in habitual thinking and narrow minded thinking instead of looking at the possibilities. If you began your day with gratitude, it could set the tone for your entire day. Choose gratitude.

Recently, I broke several bones in my foot and it required surgery. I was unable to put any weight on my foot for about six weeks. In a few seconds, my life dramatically changed. Before this, I went to the gym daily and did the minimal workout. Now that working out is not an option, I can hardly wait to go back to the gym and do a kick butt workout.

You may have a job you dislike or dread going to. What if you were unemployed and did not know how to pay the bills this month? If you dislike your job, take some action steps to change careers or change your position, but, in the meantime, be grateful that you have a job, there are many people today that do not have that luxury.

You may not like where you live. What if you were homeless? Again, be grateful you have a place to call home and take action steps to make changes.

This week, try this experiment. When you begin to feel depressed about something, imagine if it was taken away from you. How would you feel? Begin to be thankful for the many blessings you currently have in your life.

Expect something wonderful to happen and that is what you will bring into your life. Get out of the habit of negative thinking. Chip away at it little by little, just like chipping ice from a pond at winter’s end.

“I am the strength, the courage and power to move forward through all experiences and remain joyous.”

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The Kindness Challenge

By: Gloria Marie

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If you have any tough relationships, this is the book for you! The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn gives practical tools and advice that is substantiated by her research. She reveals three simple steps to make any relationship better: nix the negatives, practice praise and carry out kindness.

For each of these three steps, she breaks them down into smaller steps that you can put into practice immediately. For example, to carry out kindness, she suggests: perform small acts of service, give or share something precious to you, and be fully present and enter their world.

The book is filled with examples from her research with real life stories.  I found myself shaking my head, thinking, yes, I can relate to that and I have had that happen in my life. The difference is that now, her book gave me solutions to some difficult relationship issues.

The book is written in three parts. Part One shows why kindness, above all other character traits is important for thriving in life, work and relationships. Part Two defines the three elements of kindness and the 30-Day Kindness Challenge so you can identify your own individual patterns of kindness. Part Three you’ll find specific tools to help put kindness into practice, in the form of daily tips.

The 30-Day Kindness Challenge can easily be instituted into your life.  All you need is the commitment and Shaunti Feldhahn provides the rest.  Give it a try!

I received this book from Blogging for Books in order to write this review.

Holidays are Over, Now What?

By: Gloria Marie

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Holidays are over, now what? We are entering the second week of the new year. How are those New Year Resolutions going? Do you feel stuck? Restless? Unhappy? That is a normal feeling after the holidays. It is sort of a letdown because we are back to the same old routines. Do any of these sound familiar?

I am going to meditate every day. Instead, I need more sleep.
I am going to start a diet and lose 10 pounds. Instead, maybe I will wait until February.
I am going to work out every day. Instead, it is so hard fitting in time to go to the gym.
I am going to spend less time on social media. Instead, I just need to check in a few minutes.
I am going to look for a new job. Instead, it is such a hassle, I might as well stay where I am.

Maybe your resolutions were too aggressive or too broad. All the examples I gave above are too broad. They are written for failure. It is easier to be more gentle with yourself and break up these goals into smaller steps. Small success can translate into larger accomplishments. Smaller steps will also keep you motivated to keep going.

I am going to meditate every day. Instead, twice a week, I will meditate for five minutes either in the morning or in the evening.

I am going to start a diet and lose 10 pounds. Instead, I will have a protein shake every morning and not eat after 8:00 pm. I hope to lose 3 pounds in the next month.

I am going to work out every day. Instead, I will go to the gym or walk for 30 minutes twice a week.

I am going to spend less time on social media. Instead, I will check my social media accounts one time a day for less than 15 minutes.

I am going to look for a new job. Instead, I am going to redo my resume and apply for a minimum of 5 jobs a week.

These are just examples. You can tailor them to fit your needs. The important point is that you write your resolutions in objective terms that can be measured. That is how you will be motivated to continue. If you did not write any resolutions, this can also be applied to any parts of your life you would like to see change.

You can do whatever you put your mind to. Break your goals into smaller steps. I know you can do it! Make 2017 a year you tackle some parts of your life that you would like to change.