Tag Archives: dating

Take The I Love Me Quiz

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced, divorced women, divorced womendating

So many times we are brought up to help others, take care of others and little by little our needs shrink into the background. Who is it you ALWAYS put before yourself? Is it your close friends, your parents, your children, or everyone? It is impossible to live a life filled with happiness, abundance, and love if we do not love ourselves first. Today take the I Love Me Quiz below.

Any external change in our lives must first begin internally. We need to change our innermost self and then our exterior lives will follow. It does not happen the other way around.

Take a look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Does it feel authentic? Or do you feel like; “Wow, that felt awkward?” This is a good place to begin.

Think about someone you truly love. It could be a romantic partner, your husband/wife, a friend, your child, or a parent. Now think how you treat them. You are most likely very kind, generous, and would go above and beyond to help them. Do you treat yourself with that same love?

We cannot keep giving if we do not love and nourish ourselves. It is like a car filled with a tank of gas. If the car keeps driving and driving without stopping to fill up at a gas station, it will eventually stop.

Take the I Love Me Quiz.

Try to answer the following questions and see if you learn anything about yourself.
Score
Yes=2 points
Sometimes = 1 point
No = no points

1. I am up to date with my health checks (dentist, optician, etc.).
2. I eat healthy most of the time & do not abuse my body.
3. I have plenty of sleep, so I always feel rested.
4. I have regular periods of me time (relax, meditate, journal, etc.).
5. I take regular breaks from work and use my time wisely.
6. I say “No” to myself and others when I need to.
7. My home is tidy, organized and somewhere I enjoy being.
8. I choose to spend time with people that energize & inspire me.
9. I have no regrets and have forgiven myself for past mistakes.
10. I have reserves of things that are important to me in my life.

Did you learn anything about yourself? What action can you take this week to get more “2’s”?

My Morning Ritual

By: Gloria Marie

morning ritual, single happy strong, divorced. divorce

I have my morning ritual, it is a time that I cherish. I believe this time helps me stay centered and calm throughout the day. Most mornings, I get up early, while it is still dark and the world is quiet. I make myself a cup of coffee and retreat to my “meditation chair”. It is an oversized, comfortable chair with a large basket of inspirational books next to it. This hour that I spend every morning, is a gift to myself. Most days there are no startling insights: just time to pray, go deep into my soul, and be in God’s presence. This week try to give yourself a gift of silence each morning.
My morning ritual consists of meditation, journaling, inspirational reading and sitting in silence. I begin reading while enjoying my coffee. By my chair, I have several books to choose from. Next I meditate for about 20 minutes. This is followed by journaling and praying. Some days, I do not have the luxury of an hour and that is alright. This morning ritual has helped me transform my life from fear to peace and love.
Create Your Own Morning Ritual
1. Pick out a spot in your home that you can remain undisturbed. It is preferable to have a chair to sit on. If you do not have an hour to spend, try half an hour.
2. Inspirational Reading – Pick out several books to keep by your side. I like to have a variety depending on what my mood is. Currently I am reading, “New Seeds of Contemplation” by Thomas Merton. I also have a book of daily inspirational messages that I read right before my meditation. My old standby is “Around the Year with Emmet Fox”. I also enjoy, “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo. I usually read for about 20 minutes while sipping my coffee.
3. Meditation – If you do not have a meditation practice, a breathing meditation may be the way to start. Sit silently and concentrate on your breath going in and out of your body. When thoughts come, just let them go. Do not engage the thoughts. Just breathe. I set a timer for 20 minutes.
4. Journaling – Buy a special journal that you will use just for this purpose. After meditation, I open my journal and begin to write. I let the pen just flow. Some mornings, I may write a letter to God.
5. Silence and Reflection – Before leave my chair, I spend a few minutes in quiet reflection and praying.
These are just my suggestions, be flexible and create your own morning ritual.
What are your favorite books for inspiration?

Are You on a Threshold to a New Beginning?

By: Gloria Marie

divorce the divorce, divorced woman, divorce advice, divorced

Are you feeling a little discontent with some part of your life? Our lives are static. They are constantly changing and evolving. What might have worked for you last year is no longer working. You maybe longing for more. Are you on a threshold to a new beginning?

We can break down our lives into four basic areas: love, health, perfect self-expression/career and prosperity.

Love – family, friends, relationship. This also includes self-love.
Health – better health, better eating habits, diet, exercise.
Prosperity – abundance, material wealth.
Perfect self-expression/career – find your calling, not just a job.

Activity to help define where you would like change.

1. If you look at this list above, think or write one descriptive word or emotion that describes how you feel about that area.
2. Next, write a sentence about what you feel.
3. Now, rank your satisfaction in each of the areas. On a scale of 1 – 10. 10 being very satisfied and content.

Does anything stand out to you? Did this exercise help clarify what are of your life you would like to change?

Start today to take action steps to change the area that was revealed by the above exercise. You can start with small steps. When I have done changes in my own life, I feel I wanted to go to New York, but, went through Dallas and Chicago to get there from Florida.

Take your time, but, BEGIN!

Excerpt from “The Little Paris Bookshop” by Nina George

“Do you know that there’s a halfway world between each ending and each new beginning? It’s called the hurting time. It’s a bog: it’s where your dreams and worries and forgotten plans gather. Your steps are heavier during that time. Don’t underestimate the transition between farewell and new departure. Give yourself the time you need. Some thresholds are too wide to be taken in one stride.”

Your Affirmations Are Not Working

By: Gloria Marie

affirmations, divorce, divorce advice, divorced

Do you ever get frustrated with your life? Your affirmations are not working? You are doing all the right things: meditating, affirmations, visualizations and prayers and yet nothing is changing. You are still struggling with work, your health or money problems. Some days, you may give up and feel that all that positive thinking does not work. Well, I say STOP! It does work and please do not give up.

If we had perfect faith in our hearts and minds you could initiate change instantly. But, the fact remains that we have to cultivate and grow perfect faith and that may take some time. You are dealing with habits and negative thoughts that have been with you probably your entire life and that type of change takes time.

What I can tell you, is that it is absolutely worth the time and effort you are putting in to change your life. God wants us to have beautiful lives filled with love, peace, and abundance. Through our life experiences, we have learned to expect less than that. But, it is never too late to change.

I like using a garden analogy for our thoughts. We want a garden with beautiful flowers, but, we have to cultivate the garden in order to grow beautiful flowers. Negative thoughts are like weeds, we need to get rid of them and cultivate beautiful flowers with pure, positive thoughts that are filled with love. Flowers take time to grow, they need water and sunlight. Likewise, to change your life and your thoughts takes time. But, you can do it.

Sometimes before everything goes right, everything may seem to go all wrong. This is when you need to stand strong and continue your prayers, meditation and affirmations. Stay positive and get the last of those weeds out of your mind. The change you want can be right around the corner.

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
-Buddha

Super Bowl Recipes

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced, super bowl

Recipes to Catch a Man

Football season was always a big event at my home. My two sons loved watching football with their father and uncles: both college games and NFL games. I am from Italian descent and any event always involved food and lots of it. Luckily, I love to cook and enjoyed preparing the “football fare”. The recipes below are some of their favorite super bowl recipes. Try them during football season and just maybe these will be recipes to catch a man. I choose some that are very easy to prepare, after all you still need time to blow dry your hair.

Man Catching Barbecued Ribs
1 onion sliced
4 – 5 pounds of baby back ribs
Salt and Pepper
Garlic Powder
I large bottle of good quality barbeque sauce
Line a large cookie sheet pan (that has sides) with heavy duty aluminum foil. (You will thank me for this step). Spread the onion slices in the pan. Sprinkle both sides of the ribs with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Place the ribs over the onion slice. Cover with heavy duty foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 2 hours.
Uncover the ribs. Spread the barbeque sauce over the back side of the ribs. Return to the oven, uncovered for 15 minutes. Spread the barbeque sauce over the front of the ribs. Return to oven, uncovered for 45 minutes.

Ranch Chili Dip
1 can, chili NO beans
1 large package cream cheese
Combine the ingredients in a small crock pot. Cook until the cheese is melted. Serve with tortilla chips.

Pizza Dip
1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese, softened
½ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon dried parsley
¼ teaspoon dried basil
1 cup shredded mozzarella
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 cup Pizza sauce
2 tablespoons finely chopped green pepper
In a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese and spices. Spread the mixture in the bottom of a 9 inch pie plate. Sprinkle ½ cup of the mozzarella cheese and ½ cup of the Parmesan cheese on top of the cream cheese mixture. Spread the pizza sauce over all. Sprinkle with remaining cheese, then top with green peppers. Cover with foil and bake in 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes, until heated through. Serve with slices of French bread.

4 Ways to Deal With Unpleasant Thoughts

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced, divorced women,

We are bombarded on a daily basis with unpleasant media, thoughts, and events. To remain positive and in a state of love and grace is not easy. It is something that requires vigilance and awareness. Dealing with unpleasant thoughts is easy once you become aware of your thoughts. Try these 4 ways to deal with unpleasant thoughts.

First, become aware and then change can occur. Try spending just part of one day being mindful of your thoughts. Every time you have a negative or fearful thought, mark it down on a sheet of paper. Did you find any surprises?

Sometimes you can actually feel the fearful thoughts in your body, especially around your solar plexus. The solar plexus is about two inches above your navel. Try scanning your body next time you have some unpleasant thoughts and see if you can “feel” them. Again, first becomes awareness and then change.

The past several years, I have had to face many fears. Most days I think I am going along pretty darn well and then I hear a word or sentence uttered by someone and bam, the fear returns along with that awful feeling in my solar plexus. Let’s face it, many of our fears have been with us our whole life. They have a long history in our minds, but, we can deal with them and the sooner we dispel the negative thought the better.

Try this next time you are dealing with unpleasant thoughts.

1. When a fearful thought arises pray and demand that it go. Relay on the power of God for help.
2. Try saying, “I refuse to accept this thought and the mental and physical condition it has brought on me.”
3. Become aware of what you read and what media you watch. It is not necessary to know of every murder, robbery, or crime. Also, become aware of the books you read. I believe in reading the news, but, I do not engage in the negative thoughts. I release them.
4. When an unpleasant thought arises, close your eyes and picture a beautiful beach or mountain scene. When you open your eyes, do you feel a difference?

We are meant to have happy, cheerful, loving and beautiful thoughts and you CAN; give it a try!

Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness

By: Gloria Marie

forgiveness, divorce, divorced, divorced women

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Resentment, anger, and grief over past relationships hold a tremendous amount of energy. It is important to release the negative energy in order for more positive relationships to flow into your life. It is almost like creating a “space” for something or someone new to enter. Below I describe one technique I use to forgive and move on. This exercise can work not only for romantic relationships, it can work for any relationship that needs healing and closure.

There was one man I dated for several months. I felt the relationship was a convenience instead of a priority. The relationship did not progress. Every date was like the “first” date, no more no less. I used this exercise to get the courage to end the relationship and to move on.

In order to release myself and my energy from a relationship, I would write a letter to them. Sometimes it was just one letter other times six or seven. No one would ever see the letters. When I felt I wrote all I need to, I would follow the steps I list below. It provided closure and healing.

This is a powerful exercise.
1. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Sit in a comfortable chair in a quiet space. Take a few deep breaths. Write a letter to the person you need to forgive or the person you need to let go of. Take your time. Write your feelings about them; how they hurt you, how that felt, how you may have done things differently. There is no rule as to how long the letter has to be, keep writing until you have nothing else to say to them. When you feel you have written enough, at the bottom of the letter wish them well and sign your name.

2. Tear the letter up into small pieces and then do one of the following: a) Put them in a pan and burn them. Obviously, be very careful with this step. As you watch them burn say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed or at least wish them happiness b) Bury the pieces of paper in the ground. As you cover them with dirt, say a prayer for the person the letter is addressed to.

3. Repeat this as often as needed, until you feel you have forgiven and released the person. You know you have released this person’s energy when you no longer feel any strong emotion when you think of them.

How many letters did your forgiveness take?

“The Homemade Kitchen”: Recipes for Cooking with Pleasure

By: Gloria Marie

the homeade kitchen, divorce divorce advice, divorced

“The Homemade Kitchen” by Alana Chernila is more than a cookbook with recipes, it teaches you how to cook. The recipes are wonderful and fit for many occasions. The photographs that accompany the recipes and the other photographs in the book are beautiful. Alana weaves stories throughout the book that are delightful.

Alana Chernila has taped to her fridge the following phrases: Start where you are. Feed yourself. Do your best, and then let go. Be helpful. Do the work. Slow down. Eat outside. Invite people over. Don’t be afraid of food. These are also the titles of some of the chapters.

There are sections on how to make pasta, how to cook grains, how to make a salad and how to store vegetables. Every time I pick up this book, I learn something new. It is so beautifully written that you will enjoy doing home cooking.

Some of my favorite recipes include; stuffed winter squash, broccoli rabe with cheddar polenta, chicken pot pie and lentils to go with beer.  With every recipe, she explains how she created the recipe and gives a little background. The recipes are easy to follow and most contain ingredients that can be found at any grocery store.

I have always wanted to make fresh pasta, just like my Mother did. The simple directions that Alana gives, will have me give it a try this year!

“The Homemade Kitchen” is a cookbook that you will read and refer to often. Alana’s love of cooking is contagious.

I received this book from Blogging for Books in order to write this review.

5 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

By: Gloria Marie

broken heart, divorce, divorce advice, divorce the divorce

Dating is part of a single women’s life. Having a broken heart at some point may become a reality. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable and many emotions will wash over you. I like to think of every relationship like a brick in the foundation of the new me I am creating. If one relationship doesn’t work out, maybe it prepared me in some way for the next one. After all, we are a work in progress, brick by brick. Try these 5 ways to deal with a broken heart.

When a relationship does not work out, I like to ask myself, “What was the lesson this situation has brought to me?” “How can I grow from this experience?” These are very powerful questions to ask yourself. Spend some quiet time, centered in the moment and think about this. The present moment is always the best teacher.

5 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

1. Try to avoid negative thoughts about yourself or your ex-boyfriend. Negative thinking does no good. Remember the law of attraction. Try to stay positive to attract more positivity into your life.
2. That beautiful shirt he bought you, either toss is out or box it up and get it out of your sight. This goes for anything that brings back strong memories about the relationship. If you cannot bear to throw something away: box it up, give it to someone or sell it. Physical items contain energy and you want new, fresh energy in your life.
3. Exercise. Exercise is a great way to release stress. Get moving. Walk, go to the gym, play tennis: the important point is to begin moving. It might be easy and comfortable to stay on the couch in front of the television. Do the uncomfortable, get some fresh air.

4. Pamper Yourself. Do something special for yourself. Some suggestions are: take a long, warm bath, get a massage, take a trip, go to the movies, get a manicure and pedicure, or visit a great restaurant.

5. Journal. – Spend some time journaling your feelings.  It is ok to be angry, depressed or sad.

 

What have you done to deal with a broken heart?

Getting Back Into the Workforce

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorce the divorce, divorce advice

Getting back into the workforce after divorce can be frightening. Suddenly you are single and may need to support yourself. Most of my marriage I was a stay at home mom. I did lots of volunteer work and my ex-husband and I started 2 companies, but, when I went to write a resume, there was no one I could list for a recommendation. Or you may have worked but, need a better paying job. Have faith and believe in yourself. You can small steps to find that ideal job.

Marianne Williamson, in her book, “A Return to Love” writes:
“God, please use me” is the most powerful affirmation we can say for an abundant career. It is the miracle worker’s prayer. Everybody wants a great job. Accept that it’s already been given to you. The fact that you’re alive means a function has been assigned to you: open your heart to everyone and everything. That way you’re a vessel of God.

Of course, the ideal career may not happen overnight. You may have several jobs until you arrive at the career you love. The important thing is to believe in yourself and begin to take steps toward your path. Start creating a vision of your ideal career. Begin to do research on it. Are there some on-line classes or night classes you can take to improve your skills?

Five Questions to help you create a vision:

1. What would you like to be doing five years from now?
2. What part of that could you begin doing now?
3. How do you need to plan and prepare so you can be in that role in five years?
4. What would you say are your best strengths?
5. What type of work would you do even if you were not paid?

These questions may take you time to answer. The important point is to have faith in yourself and keep that vision alive.