Tag Archives: affirmations

Develop Courage

By: Gloria Marie

develop courage, divorce, divorced women, divorced

So you may have started the new year with determination to change your thoughts and to be more positive. You want to eliminate fear this year. How is it going? To change habits can be difficult and there are many ups and downs.  But, you can develop courage by staying in the present moment.

Some days, I think, wow, I am doing so well staying positive and then someone says something critical, or a find a leak in my ceiling or it is Saturday night and I have nothing to do. These type of things or events have a way of throwing me of course. Sound familiar?

Many of our thoughts or habits have been with us a lifetime and they are not going to go away quickly. The change will be gradual. But, with awareness, you have begun the change.

You may be working with a coach, a psychologist, or doing self-discovery to change, but, these are like a match that lights the candle. You are the candle and only you can make the changes.

To change habits, stay in the present moment. Start with small, insignificant times in your day. Try really staying present while washing dishes, doing work around your home or when meeting with a friend. By staying in the moment, you gain courage and control of your thoughts.

When you are cooking, really notice and pay attention to the utensils you reach for. Spend time noticing the different colors in the meal you are preparing. Next, try this same exercise with another time in your day. When we are present, unhurried, and centered, our thoughts are not ruminating about the past or worried about the future.

These small moments will translate into larger moments. So when a crisis occurs, you will stay present with courage and calmly deal with the situation.

This week pick one time every day to slow down and stay in the present moment. Keep that candle burning with calm, happy, positive thoughts.

Small moments = Larger moments

PEACE Practice for Mindfulness

By: Gloria Marie

gloria pierson, single happy and strong, emile coue. emile coue affirmatons

The present moment is tolerable.  Living in the past or worrying about the future creates stress in our lives. We cannot change the past nor can we control everything that happens in the future. Mindfulness, being present in the moment, is a practice. It is a practice that can help you deal with stressful situations. This week I challenge you to try the PEACE practice for mindfulness.

Begin practicing mindfulness for the small difficulties you face every day, so, when larger situations arise, the loss of a job, a death in your family, or a major move, the practice will be automatic.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness and you may try several ways until you find one that you like.  This week try the PEACE practice for small irritations that come into your life.

P – P is for pause.  Just stop and become aware of your surroundings. Take note of how you are standing or sitting. This will help you get in the present moment.

E – E is for exhale. Take a deep breath in, count to three and then exhale.  It might help to stand up and put your hand on your stomach to ensure you are taking deep breaths.

A – A is for acknowledge.  Do not try to suppress or ignore your feelings.  Take a few minutes to become aware of what you are feeling. Are you angry, frightened, jealous, or heartbroken? Scan your body and get a sense of where your body is holding onto those feelings.

C – C is for choice.  When you are ready, you have a choice how you respond or react. You are in control of your mind and thoughts. Our thoughts become things. Choose your thoughts wisely.  Try positive statements that begin with I am.   I am able to handle this.  I am enough.

E – E is for engage. After you have paused, exhaled, allowed and chosen your response, you are ready to engage with people and life.

This week try the PEACE practice.  Let me know if it helped you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Pity Party Learn to Love Yourself

By: Gloria Marie

new years eve, divorce, divorced, divorced women

So, it is New Year’s Eve and you are alone. Does is seem like everyone around you is celebrating and having fun and you will be alone watching the ball drop on your television?  This New Year’s Eve no pity party, learn to love yourself.

You are an incredible, amazing human being. It is time to stop the negative self-talk and negative thinking. It is time to treat yourself with the same love and respect that you give others.

We become what we think about. Positive, loving thoughts will bring positive loving things into your life. When we go through a divorce or through other life changes, it is easy to go to a very “dark” place. It happens little by little and then one day, it seems that there is no joy or happiness in your life. If you are willing to change your thoughts, you can change your life.

Do something special for your self-today. Maybe it is taking the time for a long bath, reading a favorite book, calling a dear friend, or maybe it is just relaxing on the couch and being ok that you are just relaxing on the couch alone.

This New Year’s Eve, try the following:
1. This exercise is from Louise Hay. After my divorce, I did this on a daily basis. Look in the mirror at your eyes and repeat the following, saying your name, “I love and accept you exactly as you are”. You may find it difficult at first and your voice may sound insincere. Keep doing this every day, until you believe it.
2. Repeat other affirmations throughout the day.
3. Picture your heart surrounded by pink light and extend that light out into the world.
4. Do something special for someone. This will take the emphasis off your “me centered ego.”
5. If you are up at midnight, take a toast to YOU! Believe in miracles, there could be one right around the corner.

3 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorced, single happy strong, divorce the divorce

Women need a more holistic approach to wellness and self-esteem. We often need to learn how to forgive ourselves for our short comings or faults. We need to learn to love our bodies, have faith in our abilities and feel secure. Today I will give you 3 ways to improve your self-esteem.

1. Word Wall 

Listed below are adjectives that you can use to describe yourself. Today, I want you to pick 3 adjectives that you feel describe yourself today and pick another 3 adjectives that you would like to become. The list below are just suggestions, feel free to add others.

For example: I feel I am kind, reliable and spiritual. I would like to become more fun, romantic, and creative. We are our thoughts, so, by consciously deciding what you would like, subtle shifts will begin.

Get a blank sheet of paper. At the top of the page, write your name, Word Wall and the date. On this paper, write all 6 adjectives that you have chosen. Have fun with it: color it, put borders, and make some drawings. Then put it where you can see it every day for the next week. Maybe put it by your computer, where you prepare dinner, or on your bathroom mirror. Every time you see it, read the words and feel them in your heart. You are taking charge of your life.

Kind Bright Passionate Fun
Generous Happy Beautiful Trustworthy
Patient Faithful Cheerful Reliable
Humorous Truthful Positive Creative
Peaceful Forgiving Prosperous Romantic
Grateful Compassionate Athletics Content
Spiritual Religious Loving Healthy
Joyful Dependable Generous Artistic
Blessed Confident Carefree Focused

2. Now take this a step further. – Show your friends or co-workers this list. Ask them to pick out 3 adjectives that describe you. Were you surprised by their choices? Did they pick out qualities that you thought you did not have?

3. Take an action toward the 3 adjectives that you would like to become. If you want to become more athletic: join a gym. If you want to be more prosperous: think of ways to cut your budget and also ways to generate more income. If you want to be more creative: publish an article, learn to paint. You get the idea?

What action step did you take?

How to Make Every Day a Happy Day

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single women, divorce the divorce

How to Make Every Day a Happy Day

How many of you woke up today feeling really excited and joyful to start your day? How many of you wake up this way every day? You are probably thinking, she is crazy, that is not possible. It is possible! I will teach you how to make every day a happy day.

It all starts with our mind. Your mind is a powerhouse that you can tap into and use its incredible strength. Picture yourself as the captain of a ship. You control where the ship goes. Likewise, you can control your thoughts and you will see changes in your life.

Our happiness is an inside job. It is not dependent on material things, other people or even our jobs. We need food and shelter and therefore need our jobs, but, you could have the best, most exciting job in the world and still be unhappy.

Try these 5 steps to make every day a happy day.

1. Begin you day with prayer and gratitude. Before your feet hit the floor, be grateful that you woke up for another sunrise. Say a prayer for yourself or others. Ask God for guidance.
2. Give something away. Give away love, your time, money, advice or even a smile to a stranger.
3. Do something you are passionate about. If you are not passionate about your work, find something that brings passion in your life. A hobby could turn into a career.
4. Face your fears. We are all fearful about something, instead of ignoring your fears, embrace them and take steps to remove them.
5. Use affirmations. Affirmations are powerful, positive statement written in the present tense. If you start you day saying, “I dread today, it is going to be a terrible day.” I can tell you with 100% accuracy that you WILL have a terrible day. Instead, try these affirmations. “Miracle will follow miracle and wonders will never cease today.” “Divine Love surrounds me and guides me today.” “This is a new and wonderful day for me.”

For the next week, try these five steps. You are the captain of the ship and you CAN live in joy!

4 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

By: Gloria Marie

Featured Video Play Icon

The following is a chapter from my book, “Divorce the Divorce: a 52 Step Journey to Creating Unlimited Happiness”.  This chapter gives 4 ways to deal with a broken heart.

Chapter 12

Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dating is part of a single women’s life. Having a broken heart at some point may become a reality. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable, and many emotions will wash over you. I like to think of every relationship like a brick in the foundation of the new me I am creating. If one relationship doesn’t work out, maybe it prepared me in some way for the next one. After all, we are a work in progress, brick by brick, experience by experience.

A broken heart is not fun. But loss is a part of life. Congratulate yourself that you had the courage to love again. That is progress. You will get through this new loss, grow stronger and find love again.

When a relationship does not work out, I like to ask myself, “What was the lesson this situation has brought to me?” “How can I grow from this experience?” These are very powerful questions to ask yourself. Spend some quiet time centered in the moment and think about this. The present moment is always the best teacher. I try not to ignore my feeling of loss, despair, and helplessness, and I know in time I will heal once again. Until then, I treat myself with compassion and love.

Activity
1. Try to avoid negative thoughts about yourself or your ex-boyfriend. Negative thinking does no good. Remember the law of attraction. Try to stay positive to attract more positivity into your life. Use affirmations to remain positive.
Some to try:
I am healing.
I have faith that the Universe will fill my life with love and joy.
I am creating happiness in my life.
2. That beautiful shirt he bought you, either toss it out or box it up and get it out of your sight. This goes for anything that brings back strong memories about the relationship. If you cannot bear to throw something away, box it up, give it to someone or sell it. Physical items contain energy, and you want new, fresh energy in your life. Exercise. Exercise is a great way to release stress. Get moving. Walk, go to the gym or play tennis: the important point is to begin moving. It might be easy and comfortable to stay on the couch in front of the television. Do the uncomfortable, get some fresh air.
3. Take out your journal and write a letter to your ex. Go deep and write about what you are feeling. Begin the letter with, “I forgive ___________ for______________ because__________.” Then, write a letter from your ex to you in response to your letter. Begin that letter with the same sentence. Keep writing until you have nothing else left to say.
4. Get a large piece of paper and your markers. Draw a picture of your ideal day. What would you be doing throughout it? What kind of relationship would you want in your ideal life? Write some description adjectives next your your pictures.  What color is dominate? Have fun and dream BIG!   When you complete your drawing, place it where you can see it every day.

Mid-Week Delight
Spend 5 minutes sitting quietly and focusing on your breath.

Purchase “Divorce the Divorce: a 52 Step Journey to Create Unlimited Happiness” on Amazon.

Use this link.

Amazon-icon

Three Powerful Words

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorce, single happy strong, affirmations

An all-time favorite book of mine is “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. It was written in 1904 and is about 88 pages. I first read it in the 1970’s and continue to reread its timeless message year after year. He suggests three powerful words to help us control our thoughts.

As a being of power, intelligence, and love…you hold the key to every situation, and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will.
-James Allen

We do and can control our mind. Life is challenging, when we are going though transitions and changes it can be more difficult to control our thoughts and our minds. But, that is also the time for the most growth. Positive thoughts produce positive results. The key is to be vigilant about your thoughts because improved results may take time.

When the non-profit company that I worked for recently eliminated my position, it was time to reread this wonderful book. Here I was without work and no other means of support. I was given very little notice. It was and is a stressful time. However by controlling my thoughts and by remaining positive about my future, I am dealing with the stress. As James Allen suggests, when things get tuff, I say to myself, “Peace, be still!” and I know everything will work out. I do believe in Divine Order.

We do have the power, intelligence, and love to transform our lives; sometimes it is hidden and needs nurturing to expand. The key is to be patient with ourselves and every day make a little progress in controlling your thoughts. Small steps will in time, produce large results.

As James Allen says-
Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. Self-control is strength: right thought is master; calmness is power.
Say to your heart, “Peace, be still!”

Remember those words to control your thoughts
PEACE, BE STILL!

Powerful Affirmations

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorce, divorced women, single women, single happy strong

Affirmations are positive statements that can be repeated on a regular basis. They can be written, repeated orally or both. Powerful affirmations help us control our thoughts.
James Allen in his book, “As You Thinketh”, written in 1904, states, “All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts”.

Positive affirmations work! They can transform your life. They are simple to incorporate into your daily activities. I write down my affirmations on index cards and keep them with me all day. Or I will put them on post it notes on my mirror in the bathroom and on my desk. Put them wherever you spend time. They are constant reminders to keep thoughts positive and transforming.

Some people sing their affirmations. Music and affirmations are a great combination. It is a joyful, happy way to incorporate them into your life.

Some days I may work with 10 affirmations. Other days or weeks, I may only work with one. I will write them down and read them out loud. The more you say them, the better. Replace those fearful or negative thoughts with positive ones.
3 Steps to Begin Using Affirmations
Affirmations should be written in the present tense.
Think about what you would like to change or improve in your life.
Write them on index cards or post it notes and read aloud daily.
Some examples of affirmations:
I trust the process of life.
I am healing.
I am now releasing all fears.
I am strong.
I am lovable.
I am grateful for all the gifts this day will bring.
I am creative and the Universe supports me.

Change your thoughts, change your life. Repeat your affirmations over and over and over. Create some wonderful powerful affirmations TODAY!

What affirmations did you create?

Practice Non-Attachment

By: Gloria Marie

sunbeam-292987_640

Non-attachment can help you create happiness in your life. We are more comfortable with what we know, even, if we are unhappy. Humans can be like dogs, we like the same things day after day. We may be in a job we do not like or in a relationship that is not right for us, but, it is comfortable like an old shoe. In order to practice non-attachment, we have to stop resisting.

“Clinging to things and to people reveals our fear of losing them.
And when we do lose them, we grieve”.
-Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

My former husband and I collected western art. As part of the divorce settlement, I was given most of the paintings. I had to sell the artwork because I needed the money. Learning how to sell the artwork, is another whole story. I did figure out how to sell the artwork, but, I resisted. I was attached to the artwork and some part of me didn’t want to “disturb” my home by removing the paintings. One day I came home and found one of the paintings had fallen off the wall. This was an acrylic painting on wood, a very heavy piece that was anchored to the wall. The anchors had actually pulled away from the wall. There was no reason for this to happen, it had been there for over 10 years. This was a wakeup call for me. I felt it was a sign from God.

I sold that painting that week. Once I made the decision it was easy. I stopped resisting and clinging. I continued to sell one painting after another. I realized that things cannot make us happy. True happiness comes from the heart.

Practice Non-Attachment
1. Thank God every day for your life exactly like it is.
2. Use affirmations. “I trust the process of life.” “All is well in my world.”
3. If fear sets in, just breathe. Take 5 deep breaths to bring yourself back to the present moment.

How do you practice non-attachment?

5 Self Help Books to Read Now

By: Gloria Marie

self help books, single, divorce, divorced women, dating.

Reading has always been a passion of mine. When I was 5, I remember being so thrilled because I could read “The Cat and the Hat” all by myself.  This passion for reading continues to this day. I love going to libraries and bookstores. The amount of knowledge in these places humbles me. This list of “5 Self Help Books to Read Now” are currently the ones on the coffee table in my family room. Maybe try to pick up at least one of these and read it this year.

  1. “The Book of Awakening: Having the Live You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have”  Mark Nepo –  This book has a reading for every day of the year. The message is timeless.  When I want some inspiration, I pick it up and open it to any page. Each day has a theme, a quote, and a story. Today’s quote- “We love what we attend”. Mwalimu Imara
  2. “Self-Mastery through Conscious Autosuggestion” by Emile Coue. This little gem was written in 1922 and has 118 pages. Emile Coue was a leader in believing that the mind is the principal factor in health in sickness.  His affirmation, “Every day in every way, I am getting better and better”.
  3. “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay. This has been my go to book for affirmations since 1987. Louise’s life story is inspiring and her techniques for using affirmations are timeless.
  4. “Secrets of Attraction: the Universal Laws of Love, Sex and Romance” by Sandra Anne Taylor. The author reveals how the Universal laws including quantum physics can affect your relationships.
  5. “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale. This is another classic. It was published in 1956 and it is a mire 42 pages. It is easy to read and yet a timeless, powerful message. His key to success and failure. “We become what we think about”.

Try to pick one of these books up. It may change your life.