Monthly Archives: February 2016

Your Affirmations Are Not Working

By: Gloria Marie

affirmations, divorce, divorce advice, divorced

Do you ever get frustrated with your life? Your affirmations are not working? You are doing all the right things: meditating, affirmations, visualizations and prayers and yet nothing is changing. You are still struggling with work, your health or money problems. Some days, you may give up and feel that all that positive thinking does not work. Well, I say STOP! It does work and please do not give up.

If we had perfect faith in our hearts and minds you could initiate change instantly. But, the fact remains that we have to cultivate and grow perfect faith and that may take some time. You are dealing with habits and negative thoughts that have been with you probably your entire life and that type of change takes time.

What I can tell you, is that it is absolutely worth the time and effort you are putting in to change your life. God wants us to have beautiful lives filled with love, peace, and abundance. Through our life experiences, we have learned to expect less than that. But, it is never too late to change.

I like using a garden analogy for our thoughts. We want a garden with beautiful flowers, but, we have to cultivate the garden in order to grow beautiful flowers. Negative thoughts are like weeds, we need to get rid of them and cultivate beautiful flowers with pure, positive thoughts that are filled with love. Flowers take time to grow, they need water and sunlight. Likewise, to change your life and your thoughts takes time. But, you can do it.

Sometimes before everything goes right, everything may seem to go all wrong. This is when you need to stand strong and continue your prayers, meditation and affirmations. Stay positive and get the last of those weeds out of your mind. The change you want can be right around the corner.

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
-Buddha

5 Ways to Spend 5 Minutes

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, 5 ways to spend 5 minutes

Every moment of our day is precious. But, how many times do you waste precious minutes? It is usually not the hours we waste away; it is the small increments of time. Maybe you need to leave for an appointment, you are all ready, and you have 5 minutes to spare. Or, your favorite show will be on in 5 minutes. Or, you put dinner on the stove and you have a few more minutes until it is ready. So, try these 5 ways to spend 5 minutes.

1. Clean out a drawer. It could be your, “junk” drawer, your sock drawer, or your kitchen utensil drawer. It really does not matter, just pick one. Organizing is much easier with small steps. If you take it at 5 minutes at a time, before long, most of your drawers will be cleaned and organized.
2. Go through that stack of magazines. Chances are if you have magazines older than 3 months, you will not read them. Sort them and recycle the older ones.
3. Call someone to say hello. Keep a list of people you would like to speak to but, just never seem to find the time. Perhaps it is an elderly person that does not get out of the house much, just think how a call to say hello will brighten their day.
4. Write an affirmation. Get out a pen and a sheet of paper. Spend 5 minutes writing an affirmation that speaks to your heart. How do you feel after spending 5 minutes this way?
• Some examples:
o I am enough.
o I am loving and deserve to be loved.
o I am grateful for this day and all the blessing that it brings.
o I am creative and my creative thoughts flow freely.
o I am surrounded with abundance.
5. Sit in silence. Concentrate on your breath or sit quietly in prayer.

How did you spend your 5 minutes?

3 Step Visualization Technique

By: Gloria Marie

visualization, divorce, divorce advice, divorced

Visualization is a very powerful tool to train your subconscious mind. What you form in your imagination will one day appear in your physical world if you are faithful and consistent with your mental vision. Our thoughts become things. Try this 3 step visualization technique.

Think of visualization as an architect visualizes a project. He first visualizes it in his mind. Then he may begin drawing the plans. Eventually, a contractor will gather the necessary materials and the building will become a reality. But, it all began with a thought in the architect’s mind.

This is similar for your own visualizations, it all begins with a clear vision in your mind and eventually will manifest in your outer, physical world.

Recently, I worked with a coaching client on this technique. She needed to pass an important test for work. She studied and knew the material, but, had anxiety about taking the test. She faithfully did her visualization every night right before she fell asleep and she passed the test! I had her develop a clear vision of what she wanted. She sent me a copy of the worksheet that she filled out several months before. The vision in the worksheet became reality. She received the phone call exactly where she visualized it and was even wearing the blue suit she had pictured.

Try these 3 steps:

1. First create an in-depth vision. The following questions are some examples of what you may ask yourself.
a. How does it feel?
b. Who is there with you?
c. What are you wearing?
d. What are your ideal surroundings?
2. Next, sit in a comfortable chair with your feet on the ground. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Try to quiet your mind. Then begin to picture your vision. The more detailed the better. Approach it with a sense of power, accomplishment and confidence.
3. Try to repeat this on a regular basis. It is especially effective right before you go to sleep.

Enjoy this sense of power and love.

Affirmations Work!

By: Gloria Marie

single happy and strong, divorce, divorce advice, single women, self help books

The Dhammapada is an ancient collection of the Buddha’s teachings. In Twin Verses, the first chapter of the Dhammapada it is written, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts”. Affirmations are positive statements that can be repeated on a regular basis. They can be written, repeated orally or both. Affirmations help us control our thoughts. Try is this week: Affirmations Work!
James Allen in his book, “As You Thinketh”, written in 1904, states, “All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts”.
Positive affirmations work! They can transform your life. They are simple to incorporate into your daily activities. I write down my affirmations on index cards and keep them with me all day. Or I will put them on post it notes on my mirror in the bathroom and on my desk. Put them wherever you spend time. They are constant reminders to keep thoughts positive and transforming.
Some days I may work with 10 affirmations. Other days or weeks, I may only work with one. I will write them down and read them out loud. The more you say them, the better. Try to repeat them morning and night.
3 Steps to Begin Using Affirmations
Affirmations should be written in the present tense.
Think about what you would like to change or improve in your life.
Write them on index cards or post it notes and read aloud daily.
Some examples of affirmations:
I am healthy.
I am creating my happiness
I am power and love.
I believe in myself.
I am lovable.
I am grateful for all the gifts this day will bring.
I am creative and the Universe supports me.

Change your thoughts, change your life.

What affirmations did you create?

A Fun Read: “Vinegar Girl” by Anne Tyler

By: Gloria Marie

Vinegar girl, anne tyler

“Vinegar Girl” is a beautiful novel that gives insights about love, grief, marriage and life. Anne Tyler does not disappoint in her newest novel. “Vinegar Girl” is the retelling of William Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew.”

The main character, Kate, is a modern day, independent women. She works at a preschool and lives with her father and younger sister, Bunny. Kate is offbeat and funny. Her father, Dr. Battista is an eccentric scientist. He developed a “mush” that Kate prepares weekly for dinner. He formulated the perfect combination of ingredients for maximum nutrition. Kate grocery shops once a week and prepares the mush also once a week. This is just one example of the quirky and humorous antics of this family.

Dr. Battista is on a breakthrough discovery with his research, but, has one problem. His assistant’s visa is expiring and he comes up with a plan that would allow him to stay in the United States. The plan is that his assistant marries Kate. Kate at first is outraged and angry at her father for even suggesting this preposterous idea, but, begins to see some advantages.

Kate feels stuck in her life and perhaps the marriage is the beginning of a new life. The research assistant’s name is Pyotr. His use of the English language provides more humor.

“Vinegar Girl” is a fun novel filled with colorful characters, humorous situations, and love.

The Secret to Following Your Heart

By: Gloria Marie

follow your heart, divorce, divorce advice, divorced

On Valentine’s Day, I think of hearts. They are everywhere today. But, I also think about our own hearts and our own self-love. Do you follow and listen to your heart? Some days it might be easy to do, but, holding the vision can be tricky. So, how do you follow your heart? These 4 steps are the secret to following your heart.

1.The quickest way to begin is to spend some time in silence. Quiet you mind. This can be done by meditation, prayer, deep breathing, listening to beautiful music, or spending time in nature. There are countless ways, do whatever works for you. If you meditate, it does not have to be long. Five minutes in meditation will do wonders for quieting all the chatter in your mind.
You may try this one day and think, alright, I tried it and all I could think about was my busy schedule for the day. The key is, silencing the mind takes practice. Try doing one of the suggestions above for seven days straight and see if you notice a difference.
2. Now that you have your mind somewhat under control, you can begin to learn to follow your heart. After you have finished your silent time, ask yourself: “Where would you have me to go? What would you have me to do? What would you have me do today and to whom?” These questions are from “A Course in Miracles.” If you feel you have answers to these questions, get out a journal and write them down. Continue this until you feel comfortable with your answers.
3. Next write down some concrete, action steps that you can take to reach for your dreams and to follow your heart. It is okay to begin with small steps. Even small steps taken weekly is letting the Universe know that you are ready to follow your dreams and ready to listen to that small, so very wise voice that we all have inside us.
4. Do not give up. Keep that vision, that dream. Your dreams are like seeds planted in a garden. They make take time to grow. But, by taking action steps and holding your vision, you are watering that garden and someday will reap the harvest.

3 Steps for Time Management

By: Gloria Marie

time management, divorce, divorced, divorce advice, single happy strong

Do you ever feel that some weeks go by so quickly and you look back on Saturday and say, “Wow, I did not accomplish anything this week.” That happens to all of us, but, with a little planning, you can stay on track. These are my 3 steps for time management.

Set a couple long term goals for yourself. Then decide on a few goals that you would like to accomplish in the next week.

When your action plan is together, complete the following sentences.

I will avoid………

I will complete……………..

To make sure I complete my task, I will……………………….

I will not……………………….

Now do the following 3 steps:

1. Spend 10 minutes at the beginning of the week in a “strategy session”. Pick 2 tasks this week that will get you closer to your long-term goals. Write down what else you would like to accomplish this week.
2. Schedule. Buy a planner or find a weekly planner on-line. Map out each day with realistic timeframes and tasks. Try not to over schedule. You will need some flexible time during the week. Remember to also schedule some fun and recreational activities. Put a star next to the items that absolutely must be accomplished this week because of some sort of deadline.
3. After you have planned your week, focus only on the day at hand. If you were not able to complete all your goals for the current day, evaluate whether you could schedule it later in the week or whether it is best left for another week. Remain flexible and do not be hard on yourself if you cannot accomplish everything. With practice, you will learn how to best use your time.

Refer back to the sentences you completed above when planning the following week.

Be aware of the time you spend looking at emails. Does that detract from completing your tasks? Maybe limit checking emails to three days a day: morning, afternoon and evening.

Develop Courage

By: Gloria Marie

develop courage, divorce, divorced women, divorced

So you may have started the new year with determination to change your thoughts and to be more positive. You want to eliminate fear this year. How is it going? To change habits can be difficult and there are many ups and downs.  But, you can develop courage by staying in the present moment.

Some days, I think, wow, I am doing so well staying positive and then someone says something critical, or a find a leak in my ceiling or it is Saturday night and I have nothing to do. These type of things or events have a way of throwing me of course. Sound familiar?

Many of our thoughts or habits have been with us a lifetime and they are not going to go away quickly. The change will be gradual. But, with awareness, you have begun the change.

You may be working with a coach, a psychologist, or doing self-discovery to change, but, these are like a match that lights the candle. You are the candle and only you can make the changes.

To change habits, stay in the present moment. Start with small, insignificant times in your day. Try really staying present while washing dishes, doing work around your home or when meeting with a friend. By staying in the moment, you gain courage and control of your thoughts.

When you are cooking, really notice and pay attention to the utensils you reach for. Spend time noticing the different colors in the meal you are preparing. Next, try this same exercise with another time in your day. When we are present, unhurried, and centered, our thoughts are not ruminating about the past or worried about the future.

These small moments will translate into larger moments. So when a crisis occurs, you will stay present with courage and calmly deal with the situation.

This week pick one time every day to slow down and stay in the present moment. Keep that candle burning with calm, happy, positive thoughts.

Small moments = Larger moments

Super Bowl Recipes

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced, super bowl

Recipes to Catch a Man

Football season was always a big event at my home. My two sons loved watching football with their father and uncles: both college games and NFL games. I am from Italian descent and any event always involved food and lots of it. Luckily, I love to cook and enjoyed preparing the “football fare”. The recipes below are some of their favorite super bowl recipes. Try them during football season and just maybe these will be recipes to catch a man. I choose some that are very easy to prepare, after all you still need time to blow dry your hair.

Man Catching Barbecued Ribs
1 onion sliced
4 – 5 pounds of baby back ribs
Salt and Pepper
Garlic Powder
I large bottle of good quality barbeque sauce
Line a large cookie sheet pan (that has sides) with heavy duty aluminum foil. (You will thank me for this step). Spread the onion slices in the pan. Sprinkle both sides of the ribs with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Place the ribs over the onion slice. Cover with heavy duty foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 2 hours.
Uncover the ribs. Spread the barbeque sauce over the back side of the ribs. Return to the oven, uncovered for 15 minutes. Spread the barbeque sauce over the front of the ribs. Return to oven, uncovered for 45 minutes.

Ranch Chili Dip
1 can, chili NO beans
1 large package cream cheese
Combine the ingredients in a small crock pot. Cook until the cheese is melted. Serve with tortilla chips.

Pizza Dip
1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese, softened
½ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon dried parsley
¼ teaspoon dried basil
1 cup shredded mozzarella
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 cup Pizza sauce
2 tablespoons finely chopped green pepper
In a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese and spices. Spread the mixture in the bottom of a 9 inch pie plate. Sprinkle ½ cup of the mozzarella cheese and ½ cup of the Parmesan cheese on top of the cream cheese mixture. Spread the pizza sauce over all. Sprinkle with remaining cheese, then top with green peppers. Cover with foil and bake in 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes, until heated through. Serve with slices of French bread.

Become Aware of Your Inner Rhythms

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorced, find your inner rhyms

Often we get caught up in “the should’s” or the “I need to” instead of listening to our hearts. We lead busy, often complicated lives and our lives can get on auto pilot, just like we are on a treadmill that keeps going and going and it actually goes nowhere.  That is precisely the time you should consider taking a step back and become aware of your inner thythms. Give yourself the gift of discovery.

“Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.”
-Ancient Indian Proverb

Do you know what captures your heart? We get so caught up in our day to day routines, that it is easy to ignore or forget what captures our heart. To hear our inner voice, our inner guidance we must have peace and trust in ourselves. This exercise will help you find your inner rhythms. This is a wonderful way to ground ourselves.

The Exercise
Go an entire day without a watch or without looking at a clock.
Spend the entire day listening to your “inner rhythms”. Eat when you are hungry. Sleep if you are tired. Reset your body and your routine.

Try to incorporate the following into this day:
1. Light a candle and sit in silence.
2. Read something inspirational.
3. Go for a walk.

By being in touch with our innermost self, we create happiness in our lives and in our relationships with others.

Journal at the end of this day.
Some questions to ask yourself.
1. What did this day look like for you?
2. What inspires you?
3. What empowers you?
4. What motivates you?
5. What drives you?
6. What makes you smile?
7. What can you not live without?
8. What incorrect beliefs do you have?
9. What did you learn from this?
10. What is the positive in this experience?

Did you find your inner rhythm?