Monthly Archives: June 2015

Are You Ready for Change?

By: Gloria Marie

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Do you feel stuck? Maybe not satisfied with your life, your work, your friends or relationships? Sometimes it is hard to take that first step to move on. Change can be frightening. I believe in living in the moment, but, sometimes, we may have unfinished business from our past that needs to be cleaned up before we can move on. Are you ready for change?

Think about the area in your life that you would like to change? Get out a sheet of paper and make a list of the problems in this area of your life. Write specific examples. Now spend some time analyzing each one. Be very honest with yourself. Some questions you may ask:
1. How did I contribute to this problem?
2. What could I do differently?
3. What or who am I afraid of?
4. Is there someone I need to forgive?
5. What needs to be cleaned up?

Recently I decided to change direction in my life and my career. I wanted to take on more responsibility and to follow my calling. Well, there were a series of events that could have appeared that everything was going wrong in my life. It could have sent me spiraling downward, but, instead, I did the exercise described above. I realized that I had trouble asserting myself. It was easier for me to go with the flow, which sometimes is fine. But, in life, you do have to take responsibility as an adult. In these series of events, I learned to assert myself in a kind, loving way. I realized in order for the Universe to give me more responsibility, I had to conquer this.

If you want more abundance in your life, are you financially responsible with what you currently have? If you want to meet your soul mate, have you learned from past relationships or are you doing the same things over and over? We cannot show up the same way and expect things to be different. Is there something you need to clean up?

We are meant to live happy, magnificent lives. Sometimes when we clean up and forgive others and ourselves for past mistakes, the Universe opens a whole new door for you.

20 Inspirational Quotes

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorced, inspirational quotes

We can learn from the wisdom of others. I love quotes from all sorts of people: mystics, celebrities, a wise children. Sometimes a quote is just the pick me up or encouragement we need at a given moment. This list below contains some of my favorites. You might consider printing it for the days when you need a lift.

1. If you dream it, you can do it. –Walt Disney
2. We become what we think about. – Earl Nightingale
3. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost
4. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. Certain things catch you eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. – Ancient Indian Proverb
6. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu
7. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. – Dalai Lama
8. Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt
9. Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale
10. A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein
11. All that you achieve an all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts. – James Allen
12. The soul cannot smile if the eyes did not cry. – Native American
13. There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge. – Napoleon Hill
14. Whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery. – Anne Frank
15. Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions. – Dalai Lama
16. The perfect love is the love within you. – Marianne Williamson
17. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. – Henry David Thoreau
18. Follow not others in your life. Follow your heart and each day will be yours, not somebody else’s. – Ron Rathbun
19. Fall seven times and stand up eight. – Japanese Proverb
20. You can’t us up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. – Maya Angelou

The Surrender Experiment

By: Gloria Marie

the surrender experiment, divorce, divorced women, single happy strong

“The Surrender Experiment” is a fascinating, true story of Michael Singer’s life. After a spiritual awakening he decided to surrender to whatever life brought his way. Sometimes he did not want to do what came his way, but, he made a commitment to accept what life brought him. And what came his way was pretty amazing. Some of the experiences were nothing short of miracles.

Michael founded a spiritual community near Gainesville, Florida. It currently sits on over 600 acres of forest and meadows. The Temple of the Universe has daily mediation services in the morning and evening. Michael also gives lectures on a weekly basis. He made a pledge to “stop the chatter in his mind” and to begin “the surrender experiment” with his life.

He developed a medical practice accounting software from his place in the woods and it turned into a billion dollar company. The people and events that came to him at just the right time is remarkable.

Reading this book may have you change the way you look at your life and the experiences that it brings. You may decide to just go with the flow.

An excerpt from the book:

“One thing is for certain: he who left on this journey-never returned. The flow of life had served as sandpaper that, to a great extent, freed me of myself. Unable to unbind myself from the incessant pull of my psyche, in an act of sheer desperation, I had thrown myself into the arms of life. From that point forward, all I did was my very best to serve what was put in front of me and let go of what it stirred up within me. Joy and pain, success and failure, praise and blame-they all had pulled at what was do deeply rooted within me. The more I let go, the freer I became.”

I received this book from Blogging for Books in order to write this review.

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Learn to Embrace Fear

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single happy strong, fear

The following is an excerpt from my book. Learn to embrace fear and develop faith.

“Divorce the Divorce: a 52 Step Journey to Create Unlimited Happiness”

Purchase on Amazon

Chapter 9

Embracing Fear

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”
-George Addair

What is it that you fear? Being alone? Change? Job loss? Supporting yourself? As you go through a divorce and afterwards, there are many changes you must face, and with change, usually comes fear. There are all sorts of fear: small ones and the large ones that take your breath away. As a life coach, I am not here to analyze why you have certain fears, but I can help you face them.
Fear is usually caused by the unknown. Instead of thinking the unknown is a great adventure, we fear change. Change asks us to let go of what we know. This can be terrifying. It is easier to hold onto what we know, even if we are unhappy. We all have immense power and energy that we can tap into. This power and energy can help you deal with fears and create the amazing life you want. We can get rid of fear by action. Taking action, in small steps. Using action, you are changing the energy from fear to power. I want you to embrace the fear, do not avoid it.

I used to try to avoid the feeling of fear. I just wanted it to go away. My greatest fears were about my financial situation, especially during the times I was underemployed. I would dread looking at the balance in my checking account. The anxiety was so strong, especially in my solar plexus area (located between the naval and the base of the sternum). Gradually, I did the exercise I am suggesting you try, and I would feel more relaxed and have more courage to take action. Of course, it did not change the amount I had in my checking account, but it did help me to take action with a clearer, less emotionally based solution. Many times, when we face our fears, the problem or situation just goes away or disappears.

How many times have you experienced a buildup of fear over something, and that something never occurred? Learn to embrace fear, listen to your inner guidance, and then take action with courage.

“So the next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky.
This is where the courage comes in.”
-Pema Chodron

Activity
When you feel fear, sit in a quiet place without interruptions. Take some deep breaths and scan your body for any discomfort. Where are you holding the fear? In your head, your solar plexus, your stomach, or your throat? Spend time taking deep breaths and observe the fear in your body. Embrace the fear and breathe into it. What is the feeling telling you? What steps do you need to take to remove the fear? Do this for several minutes. When you feel comfortable, say a prayer and release the fear into the Universe. Repeat this as often as necessary until this fear is gone.
Next, take one step toward removing the fear. What did your heart tell you when you were embracing the fear? Take an action step, maybe a risk. Use affirmations, inspirational reading, prayer, or music to give you courage and strength to take that step. Little by little, you can tackle your fears, and you will realize the enormous amount of power that you have to create the awesome life you want.
Journal Assignment
List five options for how you could overcome this fear.
Write about another time you faced a fear and beat it. How did you do it?

Mid-Week Delight
Write down ten things you are grateful for.

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Best Meatball Recipe

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorce the divorce, single happy strong

When both of my sons come home, they love for me to cook Italian recipes. I guess it is in their blood, as it is in mine. There is comfort for me to smell tomato sauce simmering in the kitchen. It reminds me of the times I would visit my Italian grandmother and love the smells in her kitchen. Both my Mom and my Grandmother were fantastic cooks. They never used recipes, they would use what fresh ingredients they had to prepare meals. I have many meatball recipes, but, this is our family favorite: the best meatball recipe.

It is best not to over mix the meat mixture. They can get tough. I prefer soft, moist meatballs.

1 egg
¾ cup milk
1 cup Italian bread crumbs
½ pound ground beef
½ pound veal
¼ pound pork
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
½ cup fresh-grated Roman cheese
8 Tablespoons chopped Italian parsley
Salt and pepper, to taste

In a large bowl, beat eggs lightly. Add milk and bread and let stand 5 minutes.

Add the ground meats, onions, garlic, cheese, parsley, salt, and pepper. Mix gently until well blended. Mixture should be moist, but should not fall apart when you form into 2-inch balls. I prefer to have them the size of golf balls.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Line a baking sheet with foil. Spray with vegetable oil. Place meatballs on foil lined baking sheet. Bake 25 minutes or until no longer pink in the middle.

Serve with your favorite sauce.

My boys love the leftover meatballs in sub sandwiches. I put some mozzarella cheese over the meatballs.

These also freeze well to use at a future date. If you freeze them before putting sauce on them, freeze them on a cookie sheet. When frozen, put them in a plastic freezer bag.

Survive the Tough Times

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, divorce the divorce, divorced

It seems lately that so many people I have come into contact with are going through tough transitions. It seems like we are in a movement of change.  There are ways to survive the tough times and actually grow and thrive through them.  Try to put the four steps below into practice as you transition.

In order to survive you must be diligent about following these steps.  Think of it like taking your vitamins.  You do not take them for one day and expect them to have an effect on your body.  You probably take them every day.  The same thing applies to surviving tuff times, you must continue your practice every day, not just when it is convenient or when you happen to remember.

If you put your time and dedication in, you will survive.  When I am going through a particularly stressful time, I “STEP IT UP.”   I may do inspirational reading three times per day and meditate two times per day.    Have faith and trust that you will get through this and when you do, you may have a wonderful demonstration.

  1. Find an inspirational book and read least a few pages every day. After you read, write your thoughts in a journal.  Put what you read in your own words.  How can what you read effect your life in a positive way? What changes can you put into your life?
  2. Meditate – Start the day with five minutes of sitting quietly and concentrating on your breath. Or five minutes silently repeating a prayer.
  3. Pray to God. Ask his help. Surrender any problems to him. There are no problems too big for God.
  4. Affirmations – Write out several affirmations on index cards or post it notes. Keep them with you all day long. Read them frequently throughout the day.
  5. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. You are doing all you can to stay positive, you do not need to be with people that get you down.

What do you do to get through tough times?

Believe in Miracles

By: Gloria Marie

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Do you believe in miracles? I do. If we pay attention, we have small miracles everyday in our life. In this video I give some suggestions on how to increase the miracles in your life.

Finding Your Calling

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorce advice, divorced women, divorce the divorce

Passion is defined as a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything. Finding your passion can help you in finding your calling. This may occur at any time in your life. Some people find their passion at an early age. Others may not find their passion until much later in life. For me, one passion of mine is writing. I never look at the clock and hours could go by because I am lost and in love with what I am doing.

First, find your passion and that may help lead you to finding your calling in life. A hobby may turn into a career.

Reflect on these questions, take your time. It may take a few weeks before you can answer them. Perhaps write your answers in your journal.

1. What activity would you engage in even if you never made money doing it?
2. When you dream, what do you dream about?
3. What do you like to read about?
4. What do you do for fun?
5. What sparks your creativity?
6. What are 3 past life experiences that left you with a sense of fulfillment?
7. What was the best time you ever had?
8. What is your favorite part about life?
9. What activities make you feel like your heart is about to burst?
10. If you could do anything today, what would it be?

Now what? While reflecting on these answers, write down 3 things that bring you passion. They may be small things: watching a good movie, preparing and sharing a meal with friends, time in silence in nature, or dancing. This week, try to incorporate one of your passions into your life.
1. Start with a small thing this week.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to make the time.
3. Journal about how you felt after the experience.

What was your passion?

Improve Your Intuition

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorced women, divorce the divorce, divorced women

Intuition is defined as, “The ability to understand something immediately without the need for conscious reasoning.” It is that feeling in your gut, the chills that go up your arm, and the thing that makes your hair stand up.  Sometimes it may be hard to define and often we ignore it. There are ways to improve your intuition.

If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  Usually we allow the thoughts in our head or our ego to rule. We are usually too busy to listen and notice the signs. However, if we try to improve our intuition it can help us make better decisions.

A few years ago while I was trying to sell my house, I received my first written offer.  It was great to have an offer, but, it was for considerable less than my asking price.  I needed to sell the house, but, my intuition told me to refuse the offer.  It was a bold move on my part.  I trusted my instinct and one week later, I received a much better offer.  Moments like this help us learn to trust our intuition. The more we make decisions like this, the more we will learn to trust that gut feeling.

Trusting our intuition can help us improve our health.  How many times has your body given you signs or feelings that something was not right?  Did you follow up with your doctor and find that in fact something was not quite right?

Try this exercise to improve your intuition.  If you do this on a regular basis, you will learn to trust those feelings.

  1. Find a place to sit where you will not be disturbed. Spend a few minutes taking a few deep breathes to relax.
  2. Say the following sentence to yourself or repeat it our loud. “The sky is blue.”  Notice the feeling in your body.
  3. Now say the following sentence, “The sky is green.” Did you feel a different sensation in your body?  Where did you feel it:  your heart area, your gut, or a chill up your arms?
  4. Repeat this often with other statements.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Create Affirmations

By: Gloria Marie

divorce the divorce, divorce advice, divorced women, single women, single happy strong

The following is an excerpt from my book. Learn how to create affirmations.

Divorce the Divorce: a 52 Step Journey to Create Unlimited Happiness

Purchase on Amazon

Chapter 6

Affirmations

“All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts.”
-James Allen

The Dhammapada is an ancient collection of the Buddha’s teachings. In “Twin Verses,” the first chapter of the Dhammapada it is written, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts.” Affirmations are positive statements that can be repeated on a regular basis. They can be written, repeated orally or both. Affirmations help us control our thoughts.
Stop right now and become aware of your thoughts. Are they nurturing and positive or negative and critical? Our thoughts tend to be negative.
“I cannot do this.”
“My hair looks terrible today.”
“I cannot afford that.”
“It is hard to get a good job.”
“I can never meet anyone decent.”

Does any of these sound familiar? First, you need to become aware of your thoughts, and then you can begin to replace them with positive affirmations.

James Allen in his classic, As a Man Thinketh, written in 1904, writes:
“Just as gardeners cultivate their plots, keeping them free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits they desire, so may you tend the garden of your mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts.”

One of my clients wanted to improve his self-esteem. We worked together to write three affirmations. He followed my instructions and wrote them down, said them out loud and looked in the mirror repeating them. With these and some other goal-oriented objectives, he was able to quit smoking, start exercising, start dating, and he found a job. This was not overnight, but he stayed persistent and consistent.

Positive affirmations work! They can transform your life. They are simple to incorporate into your daily activities. I write down my affirmations on index cards and keep them with me all day. Or I will put them on post it notes on my mirror in the bathroom and on my desk. Put them wherever you spend time. They are constant reminders to keep your thoughts positive and transforming.
Some days, I may work with ten affirmations. Other days or weeks, I may only work with one. I will write them down and read them out loud. The more you say them, the better. Try to repeat them morning and night at the very least. Gradually, over time, your thoughts will be more positive than negative. You can become the gardener of your mind.
I find with my clients that when they forget or stop using their affirmations, it is because they are no longer relevant. You may “outgrow” them. When that happens, compose new ones.

Activity
Begin Using Affirmations
1. Affirmations should be written in the present tense.
2. Think about what you would like to change or improve in your life.
3. Create several affirmations. Begin with, “I am________________.
4. Write them on index cards or post it notes. Put them where you will see them throughout the day.
5. Say them out loud at least once in the morning and once in the evening.
6. Look in the mirror and say them.
7. Using a small purse size notebook; begin a mini journal of your affirmations that you can carry with you.

Some examples of affirmations:
I am healthy.
I am creating my happiness.
I am power and love.
I believe in myself.
I am lovable.
I am grateful for all the gifts this day will bring.
I am creative and the Universe supports me.

Change your thoughts; change your life.

Midweek Delight
Go somewhere all by yourself. Somewhere you ordinarily would not go alone.