Monthly Archives: March 2015

Spring a Time for Renewal

By: Gloria Marie

divorce women, divorce, single women, single happy strong

Today is Palm Sunday. It is the beginning of Holy Week and many Christians celebrate Jesus “triumphal entry” into Jerusalem. We have also entered into a new season: spring. Spring is a time of renewal and a time of re-birth. What seeds would you like to plant? What would you like to see grow in your Life? When my boys were growing up we often went out west during their spring break. My younger son would comment that, “People think spring is about bunnies and flowers and it really is about mud and dirty snow.” There is some truth in that, but, I would like you to think of spring as a time to plant new seeds: a time of renewal.

How about doing some spring cleaning in your own life?

Clean your space. – Pick one area in your home to clean out. Your closet might be just the perfect place to start. Clear out those winter clothes that you never wore this past season. Evaluate your spring clothes. Are there any that you no longer care for or that no longer fit? Clear them out.

Open your windows – Let some fresh air in your house. Fresh air is fresh energy. Breathe in the spring air.

Sage – Consider saging your house or lighting candles to welcome this new season.

Your mind – spring is a time to plant new seeds. Spend some time in silence with your journal. What new intention would you like to begin? What would you like to bring into your life? What would you like to grow in your life? Now, create action steps to bring these intentions into your life. These could be long range goals or short range goals. By creating action steps, you are telling the Universe that you are reaching out with your intentions.

Start today and who knows what beautiful flowers will come into your life.

Online Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single happy strong

One in 10 Americans are actively involved in online dating. Have you ever tried it? I have tried most of the popular dating sites. I, like most people, get tired of the process. But, my philosophy is, if you don’t try, you are 100% assured of meeting no one online. As one of my dear friends says, “A man is not just going to show up on our front porch”.

There is a new study about online dating tips that was published in the Journal of Evidenced Based Medicine. The study was done by two doctors, Dr. Khan and Dr. Chaudhry. Dr. Chaudhry’s online dating attempts were not successful. So they decided to research the data and study it in the hopes of improving Dr. Chaudhry chances of success. They focused on 86 studies. This is what they found.

1. Success begins with choosing a user name. Men prefer user names that are linked to a physical trait. (Like Cutie). Women prefer user names that show intelligence. Both sexes like playful names.
2. User names from the first half of the alphabet do better than user names from the last half of the alphabet.
3. Successful profiles are divided by 70:30 ratio. Seventy percent of the profile with personal information and 30% gives a description of the desired partner.
4. Honest, likable profiles with humor were desirable.
5. Photos showing the user standing and smiling worked the best.
6. The best profiles were not too perfect.

Maybe it is time to redo you online profile using the above research tips. I think it is a good idea to have a friend read your profile. You may be omitting some great qualities about yourself. It is also good to add some new photos. Mix things up a bit.

You might also try some online dating apps. They are gaining in popularity. Tinder and The League are two popular ones. The important thing with any dating is to be smart and careful.

Whatever is Good for the Soul Blog

By: Gloria Marie

I was featured in the Blog Whatever is Good for the Soul.  The link below gives the complete interview.

 

Life Coach Specialist in Singletons & Divorcees:
Gloria Marie Pierson

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Today Gloria Marie Pierson shared her wonderful story and soul with us. Gloria is a well-renown life coach, specializing in singletons and divorcees. Listen to the story of her divorce, and how she managed to change it all. Gloria shares her to day to day life and really allows us to become inspired. 

For the complete interview, use the link below.

Whatever is Good for the Soul

The Power in Daydreams

By: Gloria Marie

gold mine, mindfulness.daydreams, divorce advice, single, happy strong,

We all engage in some form of daydreams. Think of the many times in your childhood that your daydreams took the form of fantasy.  Did you dream you were a princess?  Did you dream you lived in a fairy castle?  Or did you dream that Ken and Barbie got married and lived happily ever after? I heard on the news this week that Barbie turned 56.  It reminded me of the many hours I would play with her and Ken.  In fact, I pulled out my original Barbie doll.  Yes, I still have it, complete with the outfits my Mom and Grandmother made for her.  There is power in daydreams.

As children, our daydreams were happy and beautiful.  I do not remember daydreaming of sickness, poverty or loss.  As adults our daydreams are not always positive.  How many times do you daydream about job loss, money loss, or relationship problems?   Our daydreams can be destructive when the thoughts or outcomes are negative.  Our thoughts materialize.

“Those who cherish a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in their hearts, will one day realize it.”

-James Allen

So dream, have a vision, just make sure it is positive.  Think of all the artists, authors, or scientists in the world.  Many of them started with just a vision or a dream.  Dream and then dream bigger!

Spend some time journaling and asking yourself the following questions.  Build your dream. Make it clear and concise. Review your vision often.  You may need to alter it but, you do not have to give up on it.

What does your ideal day consist of?

What does your ideal income provide you with?

In 5 years, what will you have accomplished?

Dream bigger?  What would your ideal life look like if you used your full capabilities?

Visualize it. Cherish your dream. Feel it in your heart and build your life with it.

 

 

 

 

Ways to Deal with Hot Flashes

By: Gloria Marie

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Most middle age women experience hot flashes. My hot flashes coincided with my divorce. That was not great timing. There were so many changes and stressful situations at that time and my hot flashes were horrible. I would sit at my desk at work and sweat would start pouring down my face. My co-workers would say they never saw anyone with such bad hot flashes. Great! That was not comforting. I did develop some ways to deal with hot flashes.

A new study came out in February, 2015 in the JAMA Internal Medicine journal. The study found that the medium length for a women to experience hot flashes is 7.4 years. They also found that hot flashes can last as long at 14 years. The earlier they begin the longer a women is likely to suffer. Can you imagine 14 years?

The North American Menopause Society has created a mobile app for women bothered by menopause symptoms. It gives ways to cope based on your lifestyle. The app is called MenoPro and it is free. Check it out, if you are bothered by menopause symptoms.

These are some of the ways I coped with hot flashes:

1. I kept fans everywhere: on my desk, in all my purses, and in every room in my house. They were especially helpful in my purses. When I was out and a hot flash started, I would pull it out, open it and fan away the sweat. I had fans in every size and color.
2. On my vanity, I kept a small electric fan. Inevitable, as soon as I finished putting on my makeup, a hot flash would occur. With the electric fan, I would put my face in front of it until the hot flash stopped. My makeup would stay intact.
3. For night sweats, I would put an ice pack under my pillow.

How do you deal with hot flashes? Please share your tips.

Practice Non-Attachment

By: Gloria Marie

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Non-attachment can help you create happiness in your life. We are more comfortable with what we know, even, if we are unhappy. Humans can be like dogs, we like the same things day after day. We may be in a job we do not like or in a relationship that is not right for us, but, it is comfortable like an old shoe. In order to practice non-attachment, we have to stop resisting.

“Clinging to things and to people reveals our fear of losing them.
And when we do lose them, we grieve”.
-Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

My former husband and I collected western art. As part of the divorce settlement, I was given most of the paintings. I had to sell the artwork because I needed the money. Learning how to sell the artwork, is another whole story. I did figure out how to sell the artwork, but, I resisted. I was attached to the artwork and some part of me didn’t want to “disturb” my home by removing the paintings. One day I came home and found one of the paintings had fallen off the wall. This was an acrylic painting on wood, a very heavy piece that was anchored to the wall. The anchors had actually pulled away from the wall. There was no reason for this to happen, it had been there for over 10 years. This was a wakeup call for me. I felt it was a sign from God.

I sold that painting that week. Once I made the decision it was easy. I stopped resisting and clinging. I continued to sell one painting after another. I realized that things cannot make us happy. True happiness comes from the heart.

Practice Non-Attachment
1. Thank God every day for your life exactly like it is.
2. Use affirmations. “I trust the process of life.” “All is well in my world.”
3. If fear sets in, just breathe. Take 5 deep breaths to bring yourself back to the present moment.

How do you practice non-attachment?

Roasted Eggplant

By: Gloria Marie

single women cooking, roasted eggplant, divorced women, single happy strong

Cooking had been a hobby of mine for many years. When I was teaching in the 1970’s, I went to cooking school with my fellow associates. It was sort of a humorous thing to do because I was single and only kept yogurt in my refrigerator. It was called Ralph Varketta’s Cooking School. Ralph would show us how to prepare food and then we would eat what he prepared. One of the best things he taught was how to schedule the different parts of a meal and how to prepare the foods ahead of time. Every month was a different meal and included soup, appetizers, main course and desert. Because of my love of cooking, I am going to feature some of my favorite recipes once a month.This week’s recipe is a roasted eggplant. I had a similar dish at one of our local restaurants and tried to replicate it at home. I served this with a hearty vegetable soup.

Eggplant Parmesan

1 eggplant

Fresh mozzarella

Fresh Spinach

Bottle of your favorite Tomato Sauce

Garlic

Olive oil

roasted eggplant, single happy strong, divorce, single women cooking

Salt, Pepper

Slice the eggplant into ¼” slices. It is not necessary to peel it. Sprinkle salt on both side of the eggplant. Let it sit for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, rinse the salt off and pat it dry. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with foil and spray with cooking oil. Put the eggplant slices on the cookie sheet and brush with olive oil on both sides. Salt and pepper the eggplant. Roast for about 20 minutes, turning them over half way. While the eggplant is roasting, sauté your spinach. Place a few teaspoons of olive oil in a pan, add 2 cloves of minced garlic, salt and pepper and sauté you spinach. Get a 13 X 9 inch roasting pan. Put some of the tomato sauce in the pan. When the eggplant is done, place it in the pan. Put some sautéed spinach on top of the eggplant. On top of the spinach add some fresh mozzarella. Put back in the oven at 350 degrees, just until the cheese is melted and the tomato sauce is warm.

What recipes would you like me to include?

My Morning Ritual

By: Gloria Marie

meditation, single women, divorced women, morning ritual

I have my morning ritual, it is a time that I cherish. I believe this time helps me stay centered and calm throughout the day. Most mornings, I get up early, while it is still dark and the world is quiet. I make myself a cup of coffee and retreat to my “meditation chair”. It is an over sized, comfortable chair with a large basket of inspirational books next to it. This hour that I spend every morning, is a gift to myself. Most days there are no startling insights: just time to pray, go deep into my soul, and be in God’s presence. This week try to give yourself a gift of silence each morning.
My morning ritual consists of meditation, journaling, inspirational reading and sitting in silence. I begin reading while enjoying my coffee. By my chair, I have several books to choose from. Next I meditate for about 20 minutes. This is followed by journaling and praying. Some days, I do not have the luxury of an hour and that is alright. This morning ritual has helped me transform my life from fear to peace and love.
Create Your Own Morning Ritual
1. Pick out a spot in your home that you can remain undisturbed. It is preferable to have a chair to sit on. If you do not have an hour to spend, try half an hour.
2. Inspirational Reading – Pick out several books to keep by your side. I like to have a variety depending on what my mood is. Currently I am reading, “New Seeds of Contemplation” by Thomas Merton. I also have a book of daily inspirational messages that I read right before my meditation. My old standby is “Around the Year with Emmet Fox”. I also enjoy, “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo. I usually read for about 20 minutes while sipping my coffee.
3. Meditation – If you do not have a meditation practice, a breathing meditation may be the way to start. Sit silently and concentrate on your breath going in and out of your body. When thoughts come, just let them go. Do not engage the thoughts. Just breathe. I set a timer for 20 minutes.
4. Journaling – Buy a special journal that you will use just for this purpose. After meditation, I open my journal and begin to write. I let the pen just flow. Some mornings, I may write a letter to God.
5. Silence and Reflection – Before leave my chair, I spend a few minutes in quiet reflection and praying.
These are just my suggestions, be flexible and create your own morning ritual.
What are your favorite books for inspiration?

The Joys of Motherhood

By: Gloria Marie

motherhood, single mom, divorced mom

Today is my younger son’s birthday and a great reason to celebrate the day. On my son’s birthdays, I spend time reflecting and journaling about the joys of being a Mother. When they were growing up, I was very fortunate to have had lots of time with them.  Some days the house may not have been cleaned, but, that was alright. Now that they are grown, I am so glad that I took advantage of spending time with them.  So, what are the joys of motherhood?

When they were growing up, we lived in Florida, but, we spent our summers in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.  These are times I will cherish my entire life.  Most summers we did not have cable television, our days and nights were spent outdoors in nature.  They were simple summers with simple pleasures. The boys used to tease me that I was like a camp director. Every day I would plan an “adventure” for us.  There were long hikes in Grand Teton National Park. Lunch would be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while sitting on a rock.  Our favorite picnic spot was String Lake. We would barbeque hamburgers and desert would be some mores.  I would read and the boys would skip rocks on the lake and play with their boats and Play Mobile people. Most nights, after dinner, we would go on “animal” rides: looking for buffalo, elk, moose or bears.

When I think of motherhood, I think of selfless love.  I love my sons unconditionally. Their births were the greatest gift from God.  My sons taught me how to love with every bit of my heart. When I reflect on my Motherhood journey, the image of a butterfly enters my mind.  My joy was to nurture them, feed them, teach them, love them and then to let go.  Like the beautiful butterfly that emerges from the cocoon and flies away, I am confident that all our “adventures” help mold them into the incredible men they are today.

Please share your favorite story of Motherhood.

 

 

3 Ways to Increase Your Happiness

By: Gloria Marie

happiness, divorce, divorced women, single women

We can bring more happiness into our lives by controlling our thoughts. We live in our minds. Our thoughts go on and on and on. More than likely, most of our thoughts are somewhat negative and our thoughts are usually not in the present moment. We regret the past and worry about the future. Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo in her book, “Into the Heart of Life”, says: “Genuine happiness comes from the heart. It comes from a mind which has become more stable, more present in the moment.” Try the following 3 ways to increase your happiness.

Meditation is a great way to control your mind and your thoughts. But, it may not always be appropriate for you to sit in silence. If you are at your desk at work or in a hospital room comforting a loved one, meditation may be a little difficult. I make an effort every day to bring more happiness into my life using the techniques below.

1. Staying in the Present Moment – Stand up and firmly place your feet on the ground, shoulder width apart. Make sure your posture is erect. Spend a few moments taking deep breaths while focusing on your feet planted firmly on the earth. Actually imagine the earth supporting you.
2. Gratitude – Write down 10 things that you are grateful for. Read them out loud.
3. Be Aware of your Thoughts – Be mindful of critical thoughts. Try to become aware of them and begin to stop doing this. In order to do this create a “Put Downs Worksheet.” Take a sheet of paper. On the left side of the paper write the days Monday through Sunday. On the right side at the top of the page write, “Situation – Put Down.” Every day this week, when a situation comes up and you find yourself criticizing yourself, write it down. First is awareness and then you can begin to change the behavior.

This week:
What resource or tool could you begin doing in order to bring more happiness into your life?