Monthly Archives: October 2014

Take a Risk, Challenge Yourself!

By: Gloria Marie

 

Take a risk, challenge yourself. It is easy to get caught up in routines. They are safe and comfortable. In order to grow and become empowered, you sometimes have to get out of your comfort zone. Your favorite pair of jeans that you LOVED 5 years ago, are probably not your favorite pair today. You may have felt bad about getting rid of them. They may have worn out or they may not fit anymore.

“Don’t wait, the time will never be right”
-Napoleon Hill

By taking a challenge and trying something new: you may find a new happy place. A happy place that you did not know existed. What would take you out of your comfort zone? It does not have to be something crazy or dangerous. Just something that interests you and challenges you.

My challenge was taking mountain climbing lessons. On my 52nd birthday, I decided that was the gift I would give myself. It was so physically strenuous. We started at about 7:00 am and finished about 7:00 pm. The repealing off a cliff was exciting. I little frightening, especially when I crashed into the cliff before continuing the repeal. I learned (the hard way I must say) that it is important to remain in control of the rope. The really scary part was climbing up a granite rock face. I looked at the guide and said, “You want me to put my hands and feet, where?” I started to cry and froze. I did climb up that rock face and others. When I finished it was exhilarating and the confidence I gained transferred into other areas of my life.

Some ideas:
Trapeze lessons
Acting classes
Singing lessons
Public speaking classes
Art classes
Go to dinner alone
Learn a new software program

What is your risk or challenge? Are you ready to take it?

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Time for New Beginnings!

By: Gloria Marie

 

During my divorce, I went from a home with a husband, 2 sons and a dog to being all myself. The weekend would come and I would have the pain of being all alone. I knew it was time to start over. A time for new beginnings! The big question was: “Now what am I going to do?” This could be true for the ending of a relationship as well.

I approached it as starting over, with a clean slate. My outlook remained positive and I began to focus on all the things I did not make time for while I was married and raising my children. At night and on the weekends there were no more soccer game to attend or school projects that needed completion. Grocery shopping and dinner time were also streamlined.

In order to get started, I asked myself the following questions:
1. If you could do anything today, what would it be?
2. What sparks your creativity?
3. What do you like to read about?
4. What activities engage your whole heart?
5. What thrills or excites you?

Gradually, I had a blueprint for my new life. It included getting a job, taking tennis lessons, learning to knit, and doing volunteer work. I also made an effort to be out and about to meet more single friends and of course, did online dating. There are some weekends I am still alone and wish I had a partner to share the time with, but, my life is now enriched and happy.

Some suggestions for new opportunities:
1. Start a business
2. Go back to school
3. Take art classes
4. Join a gym
5. Do crafts on your dining room table
6. Read all those books you never had time for
7. Take cooking classes
8. Take dancing lessons
9. Do a Netflix marathon

The most important thing, is to stay positive and try something.

What worked for you?

Learn to Let Go and Move On

By: Gloria Marie

single happy strong, divorce, divorced women, single women, divorce advice

 

Lessons in love; learn to let go and move on after divorce. This is not only to move on after a divorce, but, also after a relationship ends. Life is all about learning. Take what was positive from a relationship, learn from it, and use those lessons in your next relationship.

My first relationship after my divorce lasted 9 months. When we stopped seeing each other, I was devastated. I felt like a failed again. I went to a very, dark space, filled with fear that I would be alone the rest of my life. I did not let this pity party last too long. Sure, I was hurt, but, I tried  to look at the relationship in a positive way.

Instead of crying, I asked myself, “What did this experience teach me?” When I sat quietly and wrote in my journal, I began to see all the wonderful experiences those nine months gave me. That relationship formed a foundation for my next one. It helped me grow, learn to love myself, and begin to formalize what I wanted in a relationship.

By freeing up your energy and focusing on the positives from a past relationship, you are actually taking back your power. Negative thoughts form negative energy and that only hurts you. Free up your energy to allow someone else to come into your life.

My Tips:
Repeat this affirmation:
“Everything comes in perfect time, I am drawing in a man who I love and who loves me”

Questions to Ask Yourself:
From the book, “The Wizard of Us” by Jean Houston
Can you see any way in which this challenging situation might have served your growth or caused you to shift?
Offered you an opportunity to become more compassionate?
Set stronger boundaries for yourself?
Offered you opportunities to look at your self-worth?

Do you have any stories to share?

Learning to Love YOU!

By: Gloria Marie

Learn to love you: the incredible, amazing human being that you are. It is time to stop the negative self-talk and negative thinking. It is time to treat yourself with the same love and respect that you give others. Today, start learning to love YOU!

We become what we think about. Positive, loving thoughts will bring positive loving things into your life. When we go through a divorce or through other life changes, it is easy to go to a very “dark” place. It happens little by little and then one day, it seems that there is no joy or happiness in your life. If you are willing to change your thoughts, you can change your life.

Learning to love yourself is a miracle cure. How many times a day do you treat yourself without love? Do any of the following resonate with you?
We have negative thoughts.
We feel we are unlovable.
We live our life in fear.
We compare ourselves to others.
We settle for less – in relationships, salaries.
We criticize ourselves.

Make the decision today to start loving yourself. Do something special for yourself today. Maybe it is taking the time for a long bath, reading a favorite book, calling a dear friend, or maybe it is just relaxing on the couch.

Learn to Love You Exercises:
1. This exercise is from Louise Hay. After my divorce, I did this on a daily basis. Look in the mirror at your eyes and repeat the following, saying your name, “I love and accept you exactly as you are”. You may find it difficult at first and your voice may sound insincere. Keep doing this every day, until you believe it.
2. Repeat other affirmations throughout the day.
3. Picture your heart surrounded by pink light and extend that light out into the world.

You can change and find happiness and joy once again.

Which of the exercises worked for you?

Should You Try Online Dating?

By: Gloria Marie

 

Online dating has become more acceptable and mainstream.  If you want to meet someone, why not try it?  It increases your chances of meeting someone in your same life-stage situation.  There are plenty of reliable and effective options out there.  Should you try online dating?

Dating sites cater to different customers, so, it is important to decide what you are looking for.  Do you want friendship or a committed relationship? The sites use several methods to match their customers. These include age, hobbies, physical appearance, sports you enjoy, political views, and books you recently read.  It is important to do some research before you decide which site to try.

Some advice about using online dating sites:

  1. Set realistic expectations. More than likely Prince Charming will not be your first date. Have patience with the process.
  2. Try to focus at first on friendship instead of the “relationship” part.
  3. Use a good and recent photo. It could be a casual photo.
  4. Create a detailed profile and ask a friend to review it.
  5. Be safe. Do not give out any personal information and meet in a public location.

Popular Online Dating Sites

  1. match.com – This is considered the largest site. It is easy to set up and has user friendly search tools.  Match has 12 – 14 million visitors per month.
  2. Zoosk – Also, boosts of a large member base. It has 11 – 13 million visits per month. Best for singles seeking enhanced matchmaking.
  3. eHarmony– They have 29 different personal traits and variables to determine who is most suitable for you. This process takes longer, but, it emphasizes creating long-lasting relationships. It gets 4 – 6 million visits per month.
  4. Ourtime – For daters 50+ seeking companionship. Great site for serious over 50 daters. They get 2 – 4 million visits per month.
  5. Plenty of Fish – The first successful free site.

Are you ready to give online dating a try?

Recipes to Catch a Man

By: Gloria Marie

 

Football season was always a big event at my home.  My two sons loved watching football with their father and uncles: both college games and NFL games.  I am from Italian descent and any event always involved food and lots of it.  Luckily, I love to cook and enjoyed preparing the “football fare”.  The recipes below are some of their favorite game day recipes.  Try them during football season and just maybe these will be recipes for you to catch a man.  I choose some that are very easy to prepare, after all, you still need time to blow dry your hair.

Man Catching Barbecued Ribs

1 onion sliced

4 – 5 pounds of baby back ribs

Salt and Pepper

Garlic Powder

1 large bottle of good quality barbecue sauce

Line a large cookie sheet pan (that has sides) with heavy duty aluminum foil. (You will thank me for this step).  Spread the onion slices in the pan.  Sprinkle both sides of the ribs with salt, pepper and garlic powder.  Place the ribs over the onion slice. Cover with heavy duty foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 2 hours.

Uncover the ribs.  Spread the barbecue sauce over the back side of the ribs.  Return to the oven, uncovered for 15 minutes.  Spread the barbecue sauce over the front of the ribs. Return to oven, uncovered for 45 minutes.

 

Ranch Chili Dip

1 can, chili NO beans

1 large package cream cheese

Combine the ingredients in a small crock pot.  Cook until the cheese is melted. Serve with tortilla chips.

 

Pizza Dip

1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese, softened

½ teaspoon dried oregano

½ teaspoon dried parsley

¼ teaspoon dried basil

1 cup shredded mozzarella

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1 cup Pizza sauce

2 tablespoons finely chopped green pepper

In a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese and spices. Spread the mixture in the bottom of a 9 inch pie plate.  Sprinkle ½ cup of the mozzarella cheese and ½ cup of the Parmesan cheese on top of the cream cheese mixture.  Spread the pizza sauce over all. Sprinkle with remaining cheese, then top with green peppers.  Cover with foil and bake in 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes, until heated through.  Serve with slices of French bread.

 

 

 

 

 

3 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

By: Gloria Marie

Women need a more holistic approach to wellness and self-esteem. We often need to learn how to forgive ourselves for our short comings or faults. We need to learn to love our bodies, have faith in our abilities and feel secure. Today I will give you 3 ways to boost your self-esteem.

  1. Word Wall Sunday

Listed below are adjectives that you can use to describe yourself.  Today, I want you to pick 3 adjectives that you feel describe yourself today and pick another 3 adjectives that you would like to become. The list below are just suggestions, feel free to add others.

For example: I feel I am kind, reliable and spiritual.  I would like to become more fun, romantic, and creative.  We are our thoughts, so, by consciously deciding what you would like, subtle shifts will begin.

Get a blank sheet of paper. At the top of the page, write your name, Word Wall and the date.  On this paper, write all 6 adjectives that you have chosen.  Have fun with it: color it, put borders, and make some drawings.  Then put it where you can see it every day for the next week.  Maybe put it by your computer, where you prepare dinner, or on your bathroom mirror.  Every time you see it, read the words and feel them in your heart.  You are taking charge of your life.

 

Kind                             Bright                          Passionate                   Fun

Generous                     Happy                          Beautiful                     Trustworthy

Patient                         Faithful                        Cheerful                      Reliable

Humorous                   Truthful                       Positive                        Creative

Peaceful                      Forgiving                     Prosperous                  Romantic

Grateful                       Compassionate           Athletics                      Content

Spiritual                       Religious                     Loving                          Healthy

Joyful                           Dependable                 Generous                     Artistic

Blessed                        Confident                    Carefree                      Focused

 

  1. Now take this a step further. – Show your friends or co-workers this list.  Ask them to pick out 3 adjectives that describe you.  Were you surprised by their choices?  Did they pick out qualities that you thought you did not have?
  1. Take an action toward the 3 adjectives that you would like to become. If you want to become more athletic: join a gym. If you want to be more prosperous: think of ways to cut your budget and also ways to generate more income. If you want to be more creative: publish an article, learn to paint.  You get the idea?

What action step did you take?

 

 

 

 

Listen to Your Soul’s Desire

By: Gloria Marie

Women are notorious for putting their needs last. Raising children, a job, elderly parents or walking your dog all probably come before your needs. Maybe it is time to follow your dreams, indulge in your passions and take some time to nurture yourself. Maybe, ladies, it is time to start listening to your soul’s desire.

If you are living your life with passion you are not worried about the future. If you feel lost, confused and insecure, chances are you have not found your soul’s desire. Passion blockers can hinder the process of discovery. Passion blockers include: anger, regret, blame, guilt, and low self-esteem.

How do you begin to listen to your soul’s desire and find your passion? Begin by trying the steps below. Look at this as an adventure and be patient with yourself.

1. Spend time doing something you find calming. A quiet mind will help the answers come more quickly. Try meditating, going for a walk in nature, going for a bike ride, listening to soothing music, or just simply sitting and breathing. Make this a priority.
2. When you feel you mind is quiet, get a journal and begin to answer the questions listed below. Do not spend time analyzing your answers, just begin to write. Answer the questions over a course of a week or two.
3. When you have found your passion, take some steps to follow it. You know you have found your soul’s desire if you are feeling empowered, motivated, and excited.

Questions
1. What activity would you engage in even if you never made money doing it?
2. If money were no object what would you spend your life doing? Why?
3. When you dream, what do you dream about?
4. What do you do effortlessly?
5. What activities make you feel like your heart is about to burst?

Did you find your passion? What was it?

One Thing That Makes Life Better

By: Gloria Marie

midlife crisis, midlife crisis women, gloria pierson

 

The one thing that makes life better is gratitude. Our words carry tremendous energy. Living and feeling with a sense of lack in your life, you are going to create more lack. By focusing on gratitude and the many wonderful gifts you are given every day, you will surround yourself with more positive energy and bring more joy into your life.

Before my feet touch the floor in the morning, I thank God for another day.  It is not only the obvious things to be grateful for, but, also the not so obvious things.  Did someone smile at you today? Did you see the sky today? Did you have clean water to drink?  Some days it may be difficult to find something to be grateful for, we all have days like that.  But, on days like that it is even more important to change your energy and find something to be grateful for. Try to expand the feeling throughout your body and heart. In difficult times being grateful will change your perspective and it will allow more happiness in your life.

On the mirror in my bathroom, I have an index card with the following saying, “I am grateful for what I have and I welcome all the gifts this day will bring”. Isn’t that a beautiful way to start a day?

Try this experiment this week:

  1. Get a journal or a sheet of paper.
  2. Write down 10 things that you are grateful for.
  3. Commit to an action plan and read the list them out loud every day for a week.
  4. At the end of each day, try to add 3 more items to your list.
  5. Continue saying them out loud.

How did you feel at the end of the week?  Gratitude is the one thing that can make life better.