Monthly Archives: September 2014

Listening to Your Inner Rhythms

By: Gloria Marie

divorce, divorced women, single happy strong, divorce the divorce

 

 

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week for Sensational Sunday we will discuss how to listen to your inner rhythms.

“Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.”

-Ancient Indian Proverb

Do you know what captures your heart?  We get so caught up in our day to day routines, that it is easy to ignore or forget what captures our heart.  To hear our inner voice, our inner guidance we must have peace and trust in ourselves.  This week’s exercise will help you find your inner rhythms.  This is a wonderful way to ground ourselves.

The Exercise

Go an entire day without a watch or without looking at a clock.

Spend the entire day listening to your “inner rhythms”.   Eat when you are hungry. Sleep if you are tired. Reset your body and your routine.

Try to incorporate the following into this day:

  1. Light a candle and sit in silence.
  2. Read something inspirational.
  3. Go for a walk.

By being in touch with our innermost self we create happiness in our lives and in our relationships with others.

Journal at the end of this day.

Some questions to ask yourself.

  1. What did this day look like for you?
  2. What inspires you?
  3. What empowers you?
  4. What motivates you?
  5. What drives you?
  6. What makes you smile?
  7. What can you not live without?
  8. What incorrect beliefs do you have?
  9. What did you learn from this?
  10. What is the positive in this experience?

Did you find your inner rhythm?

 

 

 

 

Are You Willing to Change?

By: Gloria Marie

divorce advice, divorced women, divorce the divorce, divorced women

How many times have you settled for less that you wanted? This could be in the clothes you buy, relationships, or the food you eat? Maybe it is the job that you are in? Are you willing to change old habits and bring more joy into your life? Are you willing to change?

As I reflect over the past seven years of dating, there were many times I just settled for what came my way. This was also true in my career choices. There were times I settled for less than what would bring me true happiness and joy. Old patterns are hard to break sometimes. I was so accustomed  to believing that I could not have what I wanted. True happiness was for other people, not me.

This is a form of desperation and fear. Eventually, I was willing to change and start believing that I could have what I wanted. I was willing to release the old habits and fears and focus on my desired outcomes. First come thoughts and then manifesting. Just like you think about what you want for dinner before you prepare and eat the dinner. If you are sewing a blouse, you think about it and plan before you begin sewing.

3 Ways to Begin Changing Today

1. Begin using Affirmations. Read my Blog on Affirmations to get ideas on how to start using them.
2. Visualize your desired outcome. What type of relationship do you want? What type of job would you like? Remember first comes the plans for a house before a house is built.
3. Remain vigilant with your thoughts. Stay positive. Use affirmations.

If you are in a situation and you are not sure if you are “settling”, ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy?”

Are you willing to change? What worked for you?

4 Steps to Building Confidence

By: Gloria Marie

 

Sensational Sunday

4 Steps to Building Confidence

Every Sensational Sunday we will suggest an exercise to help you begin a shift in your life.  Confidence is something we all struggle with at some points in our lives.  Transitions in life can rattle our confidence.  Change from loss of friendships, job insecurity, financial struggles can all shake our confidence. Today we will discuss 4 ways to build and increase your confidence.  This week, try implementing at least one of these in your life.

  1. Take a risk – It can be something small to start with. You do not have to climb a mountain or jump out of a plane to take a risk. I had one client that wanted to start dating and was not sure how to begin.  For one of his assignments, I had him ask someone out for coffee.  Very simple.  I told him to go with no expectations other than enjoy meeting someone new.  That is it!  This week pick one small risk to take.
  2. Do not seek approval from others – You do not have to have everyone “like” you or “approve” of your behavior. We are all unique human beings. How boring our world would be if we were all similar. If you are uncomfortable with this, spend some time sitting quietly to access your inner wisdom.
  3. Learn something new – Challenge yourself to learn something new or improve a current skill you have already developed. Maybe it is to take tennis or golf lessons?  Learn to knit or sew.  YouTube has many videos that can help you enhance these skills.
  4. Exercise – This is so important to do at least several days a week. During really stressful times, exercising on a daily basis is almost vital.  Of course, check with your Doctor to find an exercise program that is appropriate for you.  Exercise will help you look better and feel better.  com says that exercise helps the body release the chemicals called endorphins. They trigger a positive feeling in the body.  Exercise has proven to reduce stress, ward off anxiety, boast self-esteem and improve sleep.  At the very least, go for a short walk.

Which of these ideas did you try?

 

 

Books for Inspiration

By: Gloria Marie

Reading can help develop a range of social skills and awareness.  Reading helps you develop insights into yourself or insights on the next steps you want to take in your life. I believe in reading all sorts of material.  If you normally read fiction books, try a non-fiction book. Try reading a different newspaper. Even if you do not agree with the viewpoints, you may learn something new or discover something about yourself. Today I will suggest a few books to read for inspiration.

Psychology Today cited a study:  the average home has 2.86 television sets. That is 18% higher than the year 2000 and 43% higher than in 1990. There are more televisions then people per home.  Tonight maybe try to watch a little less TV and pick up a book to read.

Listed below are 4 books that I enjoy:

  1. “The Precious Present” by Spencer Johnson, M.D. – This is a 79 page book that is simple to read, but, has a beautiful, inspiring story. As the cover says, “It is more than a book – it is a profound message that can help you be happy with yourself and your life forever”. This is a book you will want to give as a gift and read many times over.
  2. “Falling into Grace: insights on the end of suffering” by Adyashanti. He asks us to let go of our struggles with life and open to the full promise of spiritual awakening: the end of delusion and the discovery of our essential being. This book provides simple teachings to stop the thoughts that perpetuate our suffering.
  3. “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times” by Pema Chodron. – This is useful advice about how Buddhism helps the reader cope with realties of modern life – including fear, despair, and rage. Pema approach involves moving toward painful situations with friendliness and curiosity.
  4. “Secrets of Attraction” by Sandra Anne Taylor. The author reveals how the Universal Laws actually direct the course of your relationship destiny. Your energy is the center of all you attract. You will discover what make up your personal energy field and how it impacts your relationships.

Is there a book you would like to recommend?

Create the Ideal You

By: Gloria Marie

divorce the divorce, divorced women, divorce, single happy strong

Sensational Sunday      Create the Ideal You

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week we are going help you create the ideal you.

Going through a divorce is not easy and there are many emotions involved.  Through the pain and changes there is also a precious opportunity to create the ideal you.  Stop pretending that it should not have been.   Stop trying to avoid the pain.  Try to relax and stop struggling.

Just sit and relax. Try to feel at peace. When you stop fighting the emotions and pain, you may find yourself more at peace that you thought.  It is in this relaxed state of non-resistance that you can begin to create the NEW ideal you.

Creating the Ideal You

  1. Be –   What do you want to be?  Do you want a new career?  Do you want to be a better Mother?   Do you want to be more patient?
  2. Do – What do you want to do?  Have more time for yourself?  Increase your social circle?  Do you want to learn a sport?  Do you want to learn to play a musical instrument?
  3. Have – Do you want to have a simpler life?  Do you want to have more income? Do you want to have more fun?
  4. Achieved – Do you want to be financially independent? Do you want to complete a marathon?
  5. Serve – How do you want to give back?  What charity, person, or cause can you help.

Exercise

  1. Sitting in that quiet space of non-resistance.  Get a sheet of paper and a pen.  On the left side of the page, write the 5 words from above: be, do, have, achieved, and serve.
  2. Just start writing next to each word. There are no right or wrong answers.  Just keep brainstorming.
  3. Complete this exercise with the idea that at the end of your life, you created the ideal you.
  4. Go back to your notes another day.  Make some changes or additions.

Now, are you going to begin taking steps to create the ideal you?

 

 

 

Tip 21 More Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

 Tip 21 More Dating Tips

Wine

Dating as a “senior” women can bring complications. It is certainly not the same as when we were in our 20’s. After going on probably 100 first dates the last several years, I have encounter a wide variety of situations.  That is why I will give more dating tips.

A recent study on datingadvice.com said that divorcees are 18% more likely than singles to have a one night stand. The research felt that the reason divorcees have one night stands is because they are not ready for a relationship and it increases their self-esteem. Men are 64% more likely to have a one night stand.

My Tips:

  1. If you do decide to have sex on a first date have safe sex.  Safe sex should be practiced for several months in any relationship.  Do not try to be pressured in the “heat” of the moment.  Protect and respect your body.
  2. Do not involve your children and family in a one night stand.  Keep these two parts of your life separate.
  3. Do not romanticize a one night stand.  Except it for what it is and move on.
  4. Our bodies are not the same as they were in our 20’s or 30’s, but, do not be ashamed about the way you look.  You are a beautiful unique human being.
  5. Entering a relationship takes a lot longer at our age.  I have found both men and women use caution before entering a relationship.  Our lives are more complicated than when we were young.
  6. Lunch dates are very popular for people our age.

If you want love as priority in your life, you will have to make an effort.  Besides on-line dating and introductions from friends, think of other creative ways to meet men. Social activities and meet-up groups are another wonderful way to meet men.

What type of activities have you found successful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Affirmations

By: Gloria Marie

Affirmations

Peaceful-Pan

The Dhammapada is an ancient collection of the Buddha’s teachings. In Twin Verses, the first chapter of the Dhammapada it is written, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts”.  Affirmations are positive statements that can be repeated on a regular basis.  They can be written, repeated orally or both. Affirmations help us control our thoughts.

James Allen in his book, “As You Thinketh”, written in 1904, states, “All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts”.

Positive affirmations work! They can transform your life. They are simple to incorporate into your daily activities. I write down my affirmations on index cards and keep them with me all day. Or I will put them on post it notes on my mirror in the bathroom and on my desk. Put them wherever you spend time. They are constant reminders to keep thoughts positive and transforming.

Some days I may work with 10 affirmations. Other days or weeks, I may only work with one. I will write them down and read them out loud. The more you say them, the better. Try to repeat them morning and night.

3 Steps to Begin Using Affirmations

1. Affirmations should be written in the present tens

2.  Think about what you would like to change or improve in your life.

3. Write them on index cards or post it notes and read aloud daily.

Some examples of affirmations:

I am healthy.

I am creating my happiness

I am power and love.

I believe in myself.

I am lovable.

I am grateful for all the gifts this day will bring.

I am creative and the Universe supports me.

 

Change your thoughts, change your life.

 

What affirmations did you create?

 

 

Cleanse Your Space

By: Gloria Marie

Cleanse Your Space Skyblue Clustervine, Pentantha flower Your home, your space, is probably filled with objects from your former married life.  Objects carry energy. De-cluttering your home will help remove “stagnant energy” to make room for new people and events in your life. Out with the old prepares your home for new energy to enter.

Take a few deep breaths and slowly, quietly, walk around your home.  Be sensitive to what you are feeling.  Are there any parts of your home that have you feel angry, depressed, and unhappy? Are there any specific objects that have you feel anxious?  If you answered yes to these questions, this is where you begin to de-clutter, rearrange and cleanse your space.

If this is overwhelming for you, start with just one drawer, one shelf. Start in a small way with things that are not as difficult to part with.  Once you get started, it will get easier.  The important point is to start.

I recently moved to a house less than half the size of my former home. At first, it was so hard to part with my belongings, but, once I got going, it felt so good. My house felt brighter and I was happier.  After that process, I only purchase objects that I really love. If you are looking for love, it is very important to cleanse your bedroom area.

Do you still have clothes or articles that belong to your former husband?  Get them out of there. Call him up and have him pick them up.  It is time you made the bedroom, your room.  Get some new sheets and new pillows.  Rearrange the decorations. Maybe buy some new art objects.  Clear out a drawer and some closet space for your new lover.  This is an important step, you are telling the Universe, that you are ready to have someone new come into your life.

Free up space-change the energy!