Monthly Archives: May 2014

Entering the Workforce After Divorce

By: Gloria Marie

Entering or Re-entering the Workforce After Divorce

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Entering or re-entering the workforce after a divorce can be frightening. Suddenly you are single and may need to support yourself.  Most of my marriage I was a stay at home mom.  I did lots of volunteer work and my ex-husband and I started 2 companies, but, when I went to write a resume, there was no one I could list for a recommendation. Or you may have worked but, need a better paying job. Have faith and believe in yourself.  You can small steps to find that ideal job.

Marianne Williamson, in her book, “A Return to Love” writes:

“God, please use me” is the most powerful affirmation we can say for an abundant career.  It is the miracle worker’s prayer. Everybody wants a great job. Accept that it’s already been given to you. The fact that you’re alive means a function has been assigned to you: open your heart to everyone and everything. That way you’re a vessel of God.”

Of course, the ideal career may not happen overnight.  You may have several jobs until you arrive at the career you love. The important thing is to believe in yourself and begin to take steps toward your path.  My May 4 blog had, “10 Questions to Find Your Passion”.  Look back at it and answer those questions, the more you learn about yourself, the clearer your goals and dreams become.  Do not become a victim; move forward, one step at a time.

Six Questions to help you create a vision:

1. What would you like to be doing five years from now?

2. What part of that could you begin doing now?

3. How do you need to plan and prepare so you can be in that role in five years?

4. What would you say are your best strengths?

5. What percentage of the time are you operating out of your strengths?

6. How could you increase that, or creatively apply your strengths to today’s challenges?

 

 

Believe and Succeed in 30 Days

By: Gloria Marie

 

Believe and Succeed in 30 Days

Sensational Sunday

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life. Today on Sensational Sunday we will discuss a 30 day action plan that will help you create the awesome life you want.

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“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve”

-Napoleon Hill

 Is there something in your life that you wish you could change? One year from now, what do you want your life to look like?  Using goal setting, commitment and controlling your thoughts, you can start achieving what you want.  I challenge you to try this experiment for the next 30 days.  See what happens, you have nothing to lose and much to gain.

 1. Write on an index card what you want more than anything else to create the life you desire. Spend time in silence to really give this some thought. It could be more money, a partner, a new job, a new home, or a family.  While in silence, listen to your heart’s desires. Once you decided what you want, create a single goal that is clearly stated.  Write this on the card.

2. Do not share this goal with anyone. Keep it to yourself.

3. Read it out loud every morning and before going to bed at night. Say it with faith.  Envision yourself as if you already achieved the goal. Believe in the goal and in yourself.

4. Stop any negative thoughts or fears immediately.  When a fearful or negative thought about achieving your goal enters you mind, replace it with a positive affirmation or a mental picture of you achieving your goal.  Some positive affirmations may be: I release all fears and doubts. I believe in myself. I can and will achieve my goal.

5. Be grateful for all the abundance you already have.

6. Release the “how” of how to achieve it.  The answers will come in time from a force much greater than you.

7. Do this for 30 days.

 This is a simple experiment.  It does not cost you anything and is easy to fit into a busy schedule.  However, it is not easy to release fears and negative thinking. Be vigilant and do not give up!  Stay inspired and continue to passionately believe in yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Single and Thrifty Shopping

By: Gloria Marie

Single and Thrifty Shopping

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Divorce or being single does, even temporarily, cause changes to your finances.  You will just not have as much disposable income. Shopping trips to the mall or your favorite boutique may have to stop or at least become less frequent.

The solution my friends and I had for this, we began shopping at thrift stores.  It was actually quite fun- almost like a treasure hunt.  We found some adorable stylish clothes at minuscule prices.  We turned a negative into something fun and positive.  Instead of feeling upset and sorry for ourselves we acted creatively.

Sometimes when I would wear one of my thrift store finds and someone would ask me where I bought it, I would answer, “The Meadows Boutique”.  Actually, the outfit would be from our local hospital thrift store which is located on Meadows Road.

Suggestions and Alternatives to Shopping at the Mall.

1. Visit and shop at the local Thrift Stores. Remember; consider it like a treasure hunt.

2. Invite your friends over for a clothes swap. You may be really sick of that sweater that never quite fit and the color just does not look good on you.  Well, your friend may absolutely adore it.  This could be a really fun evening with many laughs.

3. Browse the Internet to see the latest styles and fashions.  Then, spend some time looking at your wardrobe.  Put together outfits in different ways. Accessorize the outfits.  Try to put together 5 outfits that look completely different from ways you previously wore them.

4. Shop the sale racks at discount stores. There are some incredible good finds. I have bought dresses for $15.00.  The key is to know what is in style and put your personalized touch on your outfits.

5. Accessorize your Outfits.  Accessories can change any outfit from ordinary to extraordinary.

Did you find any treasures?

 

 

 

 

Sensational Sunday – Rituals

By: Gloria Marie

Sensational Sunday Rituals

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Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week for Sensational Sunday we will discuss rituals and how they may help you to become single, happy, and strong.

A ritual is described as a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, and objects, performed according to set sequences.  Rituals may be part of a religious community, but, they do not necessarily have to be. Rituals have been a part of all human societies.  They are a rite of passage, a marriage, funerals, sports events, births, holidays.  You probably have many rituals that you and your family observe.  So how about being open and trying to incorporate some rituals into your life that help you feel better and stronger.

Below are some examples, but, let your imagination run wild. Maybe there are some rituals you used to perform and have forgotten about.  This is another tip for your tool box; keep them handy just in case.

1. Sweeping your front porch.  As silly as this sounds, it changes and moves around the energy by your front door.  It is a cleansing ritual and prepares you for a new day.

2. Ring chimes in the four corners of a room.  This ritual changes the energy in a room and helps cleanse the room of negative energy.  This is good for rooms that many people come in and out of or rooms that are not used frequently.

3. Take a Love Bath to increase you feminine power of attraction.  Fill a tub with warm water and place 10 -15 drops of rose oil in the water.  Light white candles around the tub.  Immerse yourself in the water, relax, and enjoy the warmth and the fragrance. Picture yourself surrounded by pink light.

4. Candles. Lighting different color candles to enhance your mood.  I light white candles for cleansing, praying, and meditation.  Green candles to increase confidence and attract money. Blue candles for calmness and contemplation. Pink candles attract love. Gold candles for good fortune and good luck.  This is just a guide; always listen to your heart for the meaning for you.

So, this week try one of these rituals or create your own. The important point is to do something that will help you feel better and stronger.

What ritual did you try?

Facing Fear for Single Women

By: Gloria Marie

 

Facing Fear for Single Women

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”

-George Addair

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 What is it that you fear?  Being alone? Change? Job loss? Supporting yourself?  As you go through a divorce and afterwards, there are many changes you must face and with change, usually comes fear. There are all sorts of fear: small ones and the large ones that take your breath away. As a life coach, I am not here to analyze why you have certain fears.  I can help you cope with them.

Fear sometimes is caused from the unknown.  Instead of thinking the unknown is a great adventure, we fear change. We all have immense power and energy that we can tap into.  This power and energy can help you deal with fears and create the amazing life you want.  We can get rid of fear by action.   Taking action, in small steps.  Using action, you are changing the energy from fear to power.  I want you to feel the fear, do not avoid it.

When you feel fear, sit in a quiet place without interruptions.  Take some deep breaths and scan you body for any discomfort.  Where are you holding the fear?  In your head, your solar plexus, your stomach, your throat?  Spend time breathing and observing the fear in your body.  Embrace the fear and breathe into it.  What is the feeling telling you?  What steps do you need to take to remove the fear?  When you feel comfortable, say a prayer and release the fear into the Universe.  Try repeating this as often as necessary until the feeling is gone.

Next, take one step toward removing the fear.  What did your heart tell you when you were embracing the fear? Take an action step, maybe a risk.  Use affirmations, inspirational reading, prayer, or music to give you courage and strength to take that step.  Little by little you can tackle your fears and you will realize the enormous amount of power that you have to create the awesome life you want.

What steps did you take this week to conquer a fear?  How did it feel?

 

 

Sensational Sunday and Mother’s Day

By: Gloria Marie

Sensational Sunday and Mother’s Day

Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life.  This week for Sensational Sunday we honor our Mother’s and reflect on what motherhood means to you. If you are not a Mother, reflect of what it means to be women. Enjoy and honor yourself on this Mother’s Day.

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My Mother was an incredibly wise, giving woman.  She did not have an easy life, but, she enjoyed life. I can still hear her contagious laughter. She was the family Matriarch and her death left a large whole in our family’s heart.  My Mother was my rock through my divorce and through the many years of difficult times I experienced.  I can still hear her saying to me, “There is always a rainbow after the storm, stay strong!”  How fortunate and Blessed I am.

Today take out your journal and write down some favorite memories you have of times with your Mother. If you were not close to your Mother, write memories of a mother figure, a grandmother or a woman you admire.  Our Mother’s are in our DNA and in our hearts forever. The chain of love is not broken even with death. Spend some time honoring them today.  They helped you become the beautiful human being that you are.

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[Sonnets are full of love, and this my tome]

Christina Rossetti, 1830 -1894

Sonnets are full of love, and this my tome

Has many sonnets: so here now shall be

One sonnet more, a love sonnet, from me

To her whose heart is my heart’s quiet home,

To my first Love, my Mother, on whose knee

I learnt love-lore that is not troublesome;

Whose service is my special dignity,

And she my loadstar while I go and come

And so because you love me, and because

I love you, Mother, I have woven a wreath

Of rhymes wherewith to crown you honored name:

In you not fourscore years can dim the flame

Of love, whose blessed glow transcends the laws

Of time and change and mortal life and death.

 

Tip 17 – More Dating Tips

By: Gloria Marie

Tip # 17 – More Dating Tips

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It goes without saying that being single; you will experience many first dates and many new experiences.  Stay happy and strong through all the new adventures you encounter. Evan a bad date can be a growth experience.  Think of it as another brick in the foundation of the “new” you!  Today, I will share more dating tips. Please remember my number one advice on dating…Have Fun!

1. Do not discuss exes, politics or religion on a first date.  This may seem elementary, but, it bears repeating and remembering.  Singles in America did a survey and found:  74% of singles did not want to hear about exes, 62% did not want to talk about politics and 54% did not want to discuss religion.

2. Go on a first date with a positive attitude and have fun. Evan if there is not a second date, consider each date as an adventure and an opportunity to have a good time. Take any pressure off yourself about what might be “next”.  Try to stay mindful and in the moment.

3. If you are meeting someone from an on-line site consider a meeting place that has valet parking.  You really know very little about this person and I feel it is safer. It also makes the end of the evening less awkward.  Do you want someone walking you to your car in a dark parking lot?  I broke this rule of mine one time.  My date walked me to my car and he felt there was chemistry between us, I DID NOT.  As he tried to kiss me, I quickly got out my keys and jumped in my car.  Had I valet parked I would have prevented yet another uncomfortable moment.

My best dating advice is to stay positive, love yourself and treat yourself with respect.

Did you have any awkward dates?

 

 

 

 

10 Questions to Help Discover Your Passion

By: Gloria Marie

10 Questions to Help Find Your Passion

Sensational Sunday

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Every Sunday the Single, Happy, and Strong Blog will have an exercise for you to do.  This is a wonderful way to start a new week; to reflect, grow, and begin a shift in your life. Today on Sensational Sunday we will discuss tools to find your passion and incorporate it into your life.   Reflecting on these 10 questions will help you discover your passion.

Passion is defined as a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.  When going through my divorce and other difficult transitions, I realized I was not passionate about anything.  In order to survive emotionally, there was a time I did not allow myself to feel any strong emotion, whether passion or anger.  How boring is that?  We need to find our passion in life and incorporate it as part of our weekly routine.  We are here to enjoy and thrive in our incredible life.

We will begin by reflecting on the following questions and then we will discuss ways to begin putting that passion into your life!

Reflect on these questions, take your time.  It may take a few weeks before you can answer them. Perhaps write your answers in your journal.

 1. What activity would you engage in even if you never made money doing it?

2. When you dream, what do you dream about?

3. What do you like to read about?

4. What are you good at?

5. What sparks your creativity?

6. What are 5 past life experiences that left you with a sense of fulfillment?

7. What was the best time you ever had?

8. What is your favorite part about life?

9. What activities make you feel like your heart is about to burst?

10. If you could do anything today, what would it be?

Now what?  While reflecting on these answers, write down 3 things that bring you passion.  They may be small things: time with your children, spending more time reading, taking you dog on a walk or they could be larger things: learning to paint, dancing lessons, going back to school. This week, try to incorporate one of your passions into your life.

1. Start with a small thing, something that can easily be added to your life.

2. Be fearless.  Do not let your mind tell you “I should” or “I cannot”.

3. Simplify some part of your life to make room for more passion.

 Where you able to find something to be passionate about?